Chapter 58 : Back home

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For one year, Joyce and Hopper didn't stop looking for Jane, even if they were doing it less and less, hoping she was still alive. Every time Hopper was receiving a call about someone dead in the area, his heart was stopping, always thinking it was Jane. He was feeling guilty for being relieved it was never her. Joyce put posters with a picture of Jane and Joyce's phone number on it. She got a call of someone who saw her at a few kilometers of the town. Joyce took her car, braved the snow, and went to the place where she had been seen. She walked in the streets, showing the picture of Jane and asking everyone if they saw her recently. One of them showed her a street he saw her the day before. Joyce followed it and finished in a camp of hobos. She was walking between the tents, the picture highlighted in front of her. The atmosphere was hostile, she could feel the tension in the air, but she didn't fade, she knew she was close to her. She arrived in front of a couple in their tent who began to murmur when they saw the picture.

- "Do you know her? Please, she needs help."

- "She is over there, in the green tent," answered the man.

- "Thank you, thank you a lot!"

The mother quickly walked in direction of the green tent. When she arrived, the tent was empty, but there was some stuff inside. She wanted to grab a notebook when she felt two hands firmly grabbing her and pulling her out of the tent, before being flattened against the wall. When Joyce recognized Jane, she couldn't hold a relieved smile. She was hard to recognize, her hair was messy, hid under a beanie, her face was pale, her eyes were yellow and red, and her lips were a bit burnt. Jane's face relaxed a bit, transforming her angry face into a confused face.

- "Joyce!? What the fuck are you doing here!?"

- "I'm looking for you!"

- "Why!? I told you to leave me the fuck alone! You have nothing to do here!" got angry Jane.

- "So do you! Jane, you are too young to leave in a place like this!"

- "But that's the only place I feel good! Nobody knows who I am, nobody cares to know what I did, and I'm nobody! I just wanna be alone!"

- "There is no way for me to leave without you!" told firmly Joyce.

The mother grabbed Jane, rolled on her side, and blocked Jane against the wall.

- "We spent the year looking for you, we are all worried about you, I even...I even thought you were dead..."

- "Would it be bad!? After everything that I've done!? I'm just good to hurt people, to disappoint them! There is nothing for me in this life! Why would you waste your time with someone like me while there are good people who need help too!? Tell me why!" told Jane, holding her tears.

Joyce found nothing spiritual to answer. Jane was feeling so guilty for everything she had to do because of the gang that she was punishing herself now.

- "You're not a bad person," stated the mother.

- "Bullshit! I know what I did!"

- "Ok, ok! You did bad things, but it doesn't mean you have to deprive you of a better life!"

- "But I can't...It's too hard..." told Jane with a sad voice.

- "Yeah, change is hard but not impossible."

- "I'm gonna fail, I know I will..."

- "No, you won't, and you know why? Because you're not alone in this."

- "I'm scared..."

- "And it's normal. I'll help you, and not just me, we'll all help you, but we need you to let us help you for this. Come with me, please."

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