Get It Through Your Head

The End.....?

Warning. Cussing. Its not Fanfic Wendy without it. Sorry.

*Wendy's Point Of View

That kid has been through hell and back. Those little shits are gonna pay. Dipper means a lot to me. He's a good friend. And if he was older or I was younger, maybe more then that. But we aren't. I still have his back though.

When I was, like, 5, there was a boy around 12 years old that I saw once. I had a crush on him for years but around age 11 I got over it. The more I think on it, the more likely it was Dipper. Around here nothing is normal and time is relative. Atleast when its not dead.

If they put a finger on him I'll break their arms. Snap off their fingers. And drop kick any exceptionally small people. They've messed with the wrong person. You mess with Dipper, and the Corduroy Clan will be on you.

Ever since Weirdmageddon, I got to lead the group each Holiday Games. Its totally rocked. This time, we're gonna win. And I'll drop kick anyone who get in my way. Those Fuckers won't know what hit em.

We scale the trees and in full camo, jump from limb to limb. My brothers and I are pros. My dads too big so he goes rapid on the ground. My cousins are relatively new to this. In other words, they sucked.

Cammie kept almost falling. Shes awkward and is the least outdoorsy Corduroy I ever met. Aspen and I are the same age with the same body build but He's used to cutting down trees, not racing through them. Then brick, our oldest cousin, is a lot like his name. He might as well be a vox of rocks cuz he ain't too bright. And he's heavy. But he's strong, like dad. He's 28 and runs his own logging camp way up north. In my opinion he's a freak. He's seriously sexist but acts fine around most adults. If I ever stop working at the Mystery Shack, I'll have to work up there. I've seen the girls. All in dresses and cooking meals. I'd rather Bill came back. Honestly.

We finally reached the Atheist HQ. The museum. Outside, as always, Toby Determined sat guard. He's easy to get past. I fill the group in on what we're doing. I'd tell you but what's the fun in that? Cammie snuck behind a bush. Her two older brothers hung from branches above her, perfectly concealed.

"Oh Bodacious T. I've always love you." She says in the perfect imitation of Sandra Hermenez. He did the thing he does with his hands, with the twitching fingers and dove into the bush. Before he even realized what was happening, my cousins dropped on him and put him under with a quick pressure point jab. We covered his unconscious body in a snow camouflaged blanket. Nobody will see him any time soon.

My dad rushes the main doors. When a crowd comes out with him in the lead, My brothers, who had lined up along the doors, blew blow darts at them. We hid all 38 people this time to. Cammie traded her tactical gear for a ebony wig and some normal clothes. She waltzed right in and came back with a full report.

We hid our gear and all took wigs. Nobody trusts redheads this time of year around here. With our record, I can't blame them though.

We walked past exhibit after exhibit. We have to find the food court, where they keep prisoners. And nachos. I just love nachos. Almost as good as genuine bat meat although I've been warned against bat meat. Something called COVID? No idea...

Cammie leads the way. We get a few sideways glances. Nothing serious. If my dad had just stayed behind, we'd fit right in. But he insisted so now Our covers blown. At least to anyone with a brain. For people who believe in science, these idiots sure are dumb asses. Then again, it's Gravity Falls we're talking about here.

Finally we get there. A few dozen prisoners including Dipper are there, and he is in what looks like an Elf costume. Im not gonna even ask at this point.