Get It Through Your Head

Demon Don'ts and Do's

*Stans Point of View

Dipper is freaking me out. And he's really making it worse by reading my mind.

"Can't really help it Fez, erm. Stan" Dipper says. I shutter. His voice is like Bills!

"Hey Sixer. Can we fix him already?" I ask jerking my thumb at Dipper. He did the thing Bill does where he multiplies until he made a circle around us. Did. Bill ain't coming 'round here anymore.

"What's there to fix? Shooting Star thinks its cool I can do magic. Sixer secretly wants to study me. Even you don't seem too happy now, you already processed the thought that having me around could be beneficial. Nobody here is opposed. So I think I'll stay this way. " Dipper explains. I smell a trick. And I don't like being tricked.

"Exactly why we have to fix it. Am I the only one who watches TV around here?" I huff. We all seem to come to our senses, and take a detour to the glowy snow by the shack. Why can't we move and live somewhere normal? I swear, I'm going to do just that. I'll pack it all up and move to Nevada or something. Wait, Nevada has stuff going on to. UGG! Why is this so complicated? 

"I don't know Fez. You tell me. In fact, this entire family is involved non-stop in crazy shenanigans. At Shooting Star and I's school there is a girl from another dimension who has a magic wand named star. She does weird stuff. Even Sixer here would be confused." Demon Dipper laughs. I's isn't a word is it?

"Oh my gosh! Star would love it here! Can we invite her? PLEASE GRUNKLE STAN?" Mabel begs. Ford shuffles a bit. Dipper turns to him, murmuring like he's reading. Like he's reading someones mind.

"Fine." Demon Dipper booms looking right at Ford, turning red. Orange chains hold down Mabel. Ice comes up from the ground and covers Ford up to his neck. My fez grows huge and traps me inside. The little dot on it becomes a small glass-less window and I press my face against it. What is he doing?

"You just had to do this the hard way. There is literally no timeline were I can stop you from changing me back now without there being death . And nobody wants that. So I'm going to help you out. Since being a demon is a lot of work and power, Pinetree, er, I will forget this later. So I might give you a bit of my infinite knowledge. First off, the heaviest questions on each of your minds.

Sixer, you have a son. He is 39 and works in an ice factory and could be used as the Ice Zodiac. He was a a potential member of the Cipher Wheel, which is why Bill never told you. You also have a granddaughter who would quickly become a favorite if she came here, not to mention useful. That shouldn't be much of a problem though, since she will be orphaned in 23 days in a freak car accident that kills both her parents. If you don't adopt her, she will live with her aunt in New York and will eventually kill herself due to her aunts inability to care for her special needs. Its dark, I know, but true. She needs her family and people who care. And the treasure Shooting Star took from the unicorns plus Fez's horde of money doesn't hurt. Her name is Victoria Parr. Remember that. 

Shooting Star, yes. They will make a 17th movie in your new favorite series 'Big Little Lovers High' in two years.

Fez, yes. You should tell them. If you do, there is a 67% chance it can be fixed, but it drops a decimal every 8.0734 days that you don't.

Next, some general tips.

Keep Shooting Star away from Bill. Just do it. If I tell you, then it happens. So just trust me, even though ' trust no one ' is practically our family motto.

Don't try to prepare for Bill when he comes back. It will make it easier for him if you overthink things. You have what you need.

Bill will come back and if you try to leave, he'll find a way to leave town. You can't leave or your universe is doomed.