Get It Through Your Head

True Colors

*Mabels Point of View

We all stare at Grunkle Ford. Has he lost his mind? We can't kill someone! Dipper is just staring at the ground. We might not have a magical mind link of anything but we always know when the other is upset. Right now, I know he blames himself, but I'm the idiot who didn't tell my family when that Alastor creepy dude showed up! 

"I vote Robbie or Gideon. But Gideon's like, 12. So I vote Robbie. OH! Or Pacifica." Dipper says. I stare at him. Grunkle Stan does the same. Grunkle Ford strokes his chin as if he is actually considering this. HOW? WHY?

"Dipper! NO! Can't we, just, I don't know, protect everyone? Maybe block your mind?" I ask. Before anyone can try to convince me otherwise I continue.

"Besides, Bill might be lying. Since he basically got kicked from the dimension he might not even be allowed back here, or maybe even in Dippers mind!" I shout. I'm sick and tired of that triangle ruining our lives! And why the hot Belgian waffle do we still keep coming back here?

"Mabel. Do you want your brother to have to go through that again?" Ford says solemnly with a hand on my shoulder.

"Of course not! But there has to be another way. If we do this, then we're as bad as Bill. Who are we to decide who can live and die? We can't! Please, Dipper. You know this isn't right!" I plead. He looks thoughtful, and begins tugging his hat and making the chewing motion with his mouth. If this was last summer he'd have a pen in his mouth. He has a problem with ink though now.

"It could be me." He says very softly. We all gasp. I grab him by the shoulders and shake him. He just looks at me. His eyes are darker then usual, and something is off. I haven't seen him like this since summer.

"Dipper, listen to me. No. Never. Not in a thousand years." I yell at him. He flinches at my loud voice. My eyes are watering, and I'm mad. Angry doesn't come close to describing it. We can't be a family until Bill is dead and gone. 

"Just here me out. If we find a way to make me 'dead' then Bill will have his stupid sacrifice and he can't take over my body!" He says simply, as if we were debating the best episode of ducktective (season 8, episode 42) but this is serious. Or at least more serious. Ducktective can be serious.

"Dipper. No. I'M NOT LOOSING YOU AGAIN!" I scream. Tears well up. I think the window shook.

"Mabel, I don't mean I have to die. I mean we trick Mast- I mean Bill into thinking I'm dead. You all thought that? Do you think I'm suicidal?" He asks looking hurt. Grunkle Stan scratches the back of his head. Grunkle Ford rubs his arm awkward. I look at the floor and scoot my new shiny black flats around on the ground.

"I can't believe you guys! After that, I want to live more. To never miss out. To take risks and live life to the fullest. Did you know I flat-lined 8 times last Summer? Or that he made me kill Gideon?

Or did Soos ever tell you about when I refused to kill him? Bill wanted me to help him torture and kill so I tried to find the easy way out. I tried to stab myself. But I ended up trapped underwater. Drowning but not dying. Do you have any idea how much that hurt? Or that my friends and neighbors had to help make it worse to avoid the same fate?

Or how about when I helped Mabel escape? Do you know what happened? Bill just laughed. It was all his plan. He just wanted me to have a reason to fear him still.

Great Uncle Ford. You know what Bill does. He bragged about making you scream. He did it all and more to me.

And, and when he turned human. He did things. Horrible things.

And he showed me things. Both you have kids. Great Uncle Ford donated to get research money. Great Uncle Stan, you have multiple 'accidents' some as old as 50 now and one younger than Mabel and I.

Do you want to know the worst? I. Can't. Forget.  Mabel broke the memory gun, and those potions only work for a few days at a time at the most. Nothing helps. Everything is still here but I have to pretend for my sister. My favorite person.

I've given, SO much up for you Mabel. I gave up my 1st job. I gave up the chance to be taller. My own room. A chance to actually date Wendy or at least stop her and Robbie. Personal dreams. I jumped off a cliff to stop an obsessive ten year old from trying to force you into another relationship, after I broke up with him for you. I gave up my body to save you. Literally my body! And what have you done? Lets see.

You left me behind. Made fun of me. Broke our mini-golf setup with your friends and got mad at me for it. You ruined my chances at being the apprentice to my hero with a guilt trap. Replaced me in your "perfect" world. Made a remix of my puberty voice. Gave Bill the rift. But oh, wait. You showed self control when I was possessed and managed to not give Bill the journal. Then you beat up my possessed body and told me to just fix it with sleep. Thank GOODNESS you did that! No wonder you think I want to kill myself!

Don't even get me started on how many times you let me down Uncle Stan. And you aren't scotch free either Uncle Ford. If it wasn't for you two being unable to even stand next to each other Bill never would have come back. If you could say Please, or if you could say Thank You, it might not have even happened in the first place!

So maybe you have a reason to think I'm going to kill myself! I have to live with YOU!" Dipper yelled and stormed off. What did I do wrong?