Skate Maloley

No One Ever Loved

"Nate." My throat was dry out of a sudden.

The last time I saw him, we weren't on very good circumstances. "I-I-"

"What are you doing here, man?" My brother interrupted Nate, who was looking at me scrupulously.

"I know where your key is..." He answered a little hazily, not breaking eye contact with me.

I was the first to look away and I passed him with my suitcase.

This is one hell of a movie scene.

To be fair, I never stopped thinking about Nate the first year. There were so many questions in the back of my head, but I never got an answer.

And I didn't expect to get an actual answer. He never called me. Never asked if I was okay.

After we broke up, I hoped he would call me or apologize or whatever, but it never happened. So after a couple of weeks I eventually gave up on him trying to look for contact.

So why didn't I contact him myself? My pride, ladies and gentlemen.

He wasn't going to try to talk to me this time neither. But there was still this little piece of me who hoped to get him back.

I sat in the living room, burying my head in my hands. I heard my brother and my ex-boyfriend talking a little, but I couldn't tell what they were saying. This is so fucked up.

After a couple of minutes they sat down. Nate on the other couch, Stephan next to me.

"How's London?" Nate suddenly asked.
How can you pretend like everything's cool?

"It's good." I weakly smiled. He nodded and looked down at my feet.

No one said anything for a while, so I thought to make it less awkward and leave. "Hey, is my room still my room and not some kind of Red Room?" I heard Nate chuckle and I raised my brow.

"It's still your room." Stephan sighed, getting tired of my sassiness.

I walked upstairs, unpacked my suitcase and placed my clothes in my old closet.

After a couple of minutes I heard someone come in. "Steph, I can't believe you actually-" I turned around to face him, but my smile faded as I saw who it actually was. "–and you're not my brother." I said as I turned back to my closet.

"Can we talk?" I heard the anxiety in his voice.

You'll finally have an answer to your questions, Y/N.

I sighed and sat on the end of my bed. Nate carefully sat next to me. "Then talk." I quietly said.

It was so quiet in the room, I could hear his heart palpitate. "Let's get straight to the point," I furrowed my brows as I looked at my door.

I refused to look him in the eye. "I miss you."

My heart skipped a beat and my breath started getting unsteady. "Since the day you left me."

You are not crying, Y/N.

"I wanted to visit you, I really did. But your brother said it was better to let it go. So I was stupid and listened to him." I harshly swallowed and listened to his words.

"Please say something." He practically begged. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for letting you walk away. I'm sorry I yelled at you like that. I'm sorry I was such an ass. I-"

"I get it." I interrupted him with a stern voice.

After a little silence I said, "Wasn't I worth it?" My voice was weaker by now and I swear, my voice hitched at the end of the sentence.

"You were. You definitely were. I just didn't want to fuck up your life again." I sighed and gulped.

"Can we please just start over? I need you more than fucking anything. I can't let you walk away again." I turned to face him and saw his eyes were glossy.

I furrowed my brows at the sight of him and I felt tears build up. "I fucked up once. I can't do that again." His eyes started getting glossier with every word he said, and just like mine. "I tried. I tried so fucking hard to get over you. But I couldn't... Every night,"

"I went to sleep with you in my thoughts. It fucked me up, real bad." He sniffed and sadly smiled. "But you're here now." I tried to smile but I couldn't. "Please, Y/N." He literally begged now.

Tears started streaming out of my eyes as I saw a tear slip through his eyes. "Please don't cry." I whispered as I pulled him into a hug.

We were emotional fucks.

"I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry." He whispered in my shoulder. Tears were still flowing, but I sniffed and tried to stop.

I pulled back and saw even more tears were on his beautiful face. I wiped them away with my thumb and weakly smiled at him. "I was in such a shit time with no one I could... talk to. You were the only one." He weakly said.

"How about we start as friends?" I asked him. His face light up a little and smiled.

"That sounds great."

I smiled. "I've missed you too, by the way."