Thank you for 20K reads! You guys have been so patient with me, so I truly appreciate you taking time to read my story. Xx
**
I feel the sun beaming against my face as I begin to wake up from my sleep. I feel an incredible amount of weight on my shoulders, and on top of it all, I was unable to sleep throughout most of the night. After packing my bags last night, I securely hid my bags in the back of my closet. Following my decision to gather my things and follow through on my decision, I went downstairs to anxiously spend the remainder of the night with Harry and with his family. A knock on my door startles me as I begin to get lost in the realization that last night is one of the final nights that I spend with ... with him, even if we weren't on exact loving talking terms.
"J-Julianne ?" The voice is barely a whisper, but it is loud enough for me to determine that it's Harry's.
I head over to open the door after eyeing all corners of my room in order to find any evidence of my departure.
"Yes? Is everything alright?" I say through a yawn once I open the door.
"Breakfast is ready." He says softly as he looks down to the floor.
"I'll be right down." I assure him and turn away to close the door.
"Julianne." Harry steps into the room before the door is fully closed. "Can we talk."
"Not now Harry." I say, still turned away from him.
"Please?" He insists.
I can't afford to speak with him right now. I first need to compose my emotions, so that when I tell him my decision, I won't inform him through tears.
Just the thought of telling him what I plan to do aches my heart and brings tears to my eyes. Dr. Shouls' words repeat in my head as I make an effort to restrain the tears.
"If he is able to miss you, he will be able to remember you." Are the words that continue to re play themselves in my mind. The words that hold my last source of hope.
"Please, Harry." I beg. "Not now." I turn to him, aware that he will see my watery eyes.
Sadness runs through his face, and at this moment, I can't bare to imagine how he will react to my decision.
He nods in defeat and turns away before heading out of the room.
Once he is out of sight, I let tears run freely down my face before heading into the bathroom to brush my teeth.
**
We sit at the dining table in a somewhat silence. Anne, Robin, and Gemma are already dressed, since they will be leaving after breakfast. Anne took it upon herself to cook up a massive breakfast consisting of pancakes, sausage, eggs, fruits, and a few other things, and to no surprise, I have little, close to no appetite. I pick at the pancake that I served myself as Anne goes on about their trip back home, and the upcoming tour. I occasionally look up and make eye contact with Harry, unintentionally of course, but other than that, I stare deeply at the pancake in front of me.
"Hey, Juju, can you pass the syrup?" I hear a voice speaking, but nothing is registering in me. "Juju." I hear again and my head snaps up when I feel a small tug at the sleeve of my shirt.
"Huh? Oh. The syrup."I say before grabbing the syrup and passing it over to her.
Once the task is done, I go back to moving the fork around my plate, and randomly placing a piece of the breakfast into my mouth.
"No!" I hear a shriek coming from beside me, thus immediately dragging out of my dull mode.
I look over to Gemma, who is staring down at her beautiful, but stained, blouse.
"I've got syrup all over my blouse!" She shrieks as she stays frozen looking down at the circle of syrup .
"Way to be careful, Gem." Harry jokes from across me, and she responds by sending him a death glare.
My hands respond before my mind, as they pick up a few napkins and begin taking the syrup off of the white fabric.
"I'm pretty sure it's ruined." Gemma sighs.
"I'm positive that it will come off with a wash, darling. But, you'll have to take it off. Perhaps Julianne can lend you a shirt and you'll return it on our next trip." Anne suggests and my mind freezes at the mention of "next trip." The next trip that I probably won't be here by.
"Can I borrow one of yours, Juju?" Gemma looks at me and pouts.
"S-sure." I say and smile, I honestly have no problem with her borrowing my clothes, or in this case, taking them.
I begin to get up, to go and get a new top for Gemma, but am stopped at my tracks when Anne and Harry speak simultaneously. "Aren't you going to finish your breakfast?" They both say.
"You've barely ate." Anne continues.
Guilt begins taking over me, so I decide to sit back down and try to force the rest of the pancake down my throat.
"You can just go on up and look for something." I say to Gemma, in order to save time.
She nods and makes her way up to my room.
I force a few more pancake pieces into my mouth, and slowly manage to swallow them after much chewing.
Minutes pass before I hear Gemma's voice."Hey, um, Juju. Can you come up now?" She speaks from the top of the stairs.
I look up at her and she has a worried look on her face. "I ... don't know what to choose?" She says in somewhat of a question.
I get up from the table, give Anne an apologetic shrug, and quickly excuse myself upstairs.
By the time I reach the top of the staircase, Gemma has retreated back into my room. Once I step inside of the room, I am greeted with a frantic look from Gemma. and in less than a minute, I look down to find my packed bags, and in Gemma's hand, the printed schedule of upcoming flights from London to the United States.
