After spending the afternoon in the shared flat, Harry and I were ready to go home. I was glad that we came here to meet up with El and Dani and with the other boys because I was able to do some venting with the girls. They both think that it is best if I just talk to Harry about my feelings, and if he doesn't feel the same then at least he knows how I feel about him. After saying our goodbyes to the group Harry and I began heading out to his own flat.
The car ride back to the flat is quiet, too quiet if you ask me. Harry seems to be giving off the impression that he is nervous. Or maybe I am just the one who thinks so because I am nervous on how to approach Harry in order to talk about my feelings. As the car is filled with an unbearable silence, I begin to zone out and begin thinking of what to say to Harry.
Harry, throughout the past months I have seen you as my best friend...
No, that's not it.
So, have you ever seen us as being anything more than just best friends?
No, that sounds to desperate.
I don't know about you, but sometimes it doesn't feel like our fake relationship... isn't really... you know... fake.
Eh. That could work I guess, if nothing better comes up to mind I mean.
"Is there... something on your mind Juju...?" Harry's voice drags me out of my failure of an attempt to find the right words.
"Hmm?" I look at him as my nerves make me unaware that I heard him the first time.
"You seem kind of... I don't know ... pensive maybe?" He goes on to say.
"Oh. No, no. Everything's fine. I just have a lot on my mind."
"Do you want to talk about it? I'm here to listen." He offers as we pass the shops that are near his flat, thus indicating that we are near.
"Um..." If only you knew Harry. How will you react when you know that I ... have feelings for you? Oh Harry. "No, it's fine." Are the words that spill out of my mouth as a small smile form on my lips.
"Are you sure?" He pushes a little to see if he can get anything out of me.
I nod.
"Ok, I'll be here if you want to talk about it." He gives up quickly as he parks in the driveway of the flat.
We head into the flat in the same silence that we were in while we were driving here. Although I have to admit, it is not an awkward silence, it's more of a, Harry I have so much feelings for you but we are just in a fake relationship and you probably don't have feelings for me so I am extremely nervous and don't know how to act, type of silence.
As we step through the door I suddenly remember that I haven't been here for more than two weeks. Luckily I had no luggage to unpack since Harry and I rushed to NY without any packed clothing. Good thing I still have clothes in my home back in the states.
"I'm going to go take a shower, I'll be out in a few." I say to Harry as soon as he locks the door behind us.
"Ok, I'll be taking a shower in the bathroom in my room. " He goes on to say with a slight smile.
"By the way Harry, we need to ... talk. Maybe later after our shower?" I find the courage to say.
I notice a hint of curiosity cross Harry's face. "Is everything ok?" He says and I nod and giggle a little.
"Yes Harry, everything is fine." I continue to giggle as the nerves wash over me.
"Alright... so we'll meet back here in the living room after the shower? I kind of have something to talk to you about also."
