Trouble with the boy next door

Chapter 12: Date Night

So, Brennen asked me out on another date for Friday night. I got showered and dressed up really pretty for him.

We have been dating for four weeks now. We love spending time together and having great conversations. 

I have met his mother, and he has met my parents. He's still here with me. He sits beside me in all our classes, he drives me to school everyday, he takes me out every weekend and sometimes during the week. 

So far, it's still only me. I do wonder how long that will last because, as he has said, he is a man with needs, and yet I am not fulfilling those needs.

He has not tried to pressure me or anything more than we have done. I make sure he is still spending time with Hunter and Jace. 

We will go out on a date, then I will hang out with Jade and Christy, and he will hang out with Hunter and Jace.

I haven't been studying like I should have been and have noticed my grades starting to drop. I try to study, but my mind is so focused on him when he's near and even when he's not. He's all I think about. 

I have never thought about actually taking that last step. It has never been a worry to me. I told my ex I wasn't ready, but I think I might be. I might be ready to take that final step with Brennen.

Not right now, but maybe soon. I am just scared because we have been dating for a month, but he still hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend. 

I understand this is new to him, and so I am trying to be patient with him, just as he is being patient with me. 

I know it is killing him not to be with me the way he craves, but when I take that step, I want to ensure it is with someone who loves me and will cherish what I am giving them.

I have to give him credit; he has been really sweet. The other night, he almost lost control, and he had to step outside. 

He apologized and explained it's really hard when we make out, and sometimes he has to try and regain control. He said he was at the point of losing it, so he stepped outside. 

I was a little worried I had done something wrong, but he assured me it wasn't me; it was him. I am glad we can have a conversation without it being weird. 

Like our conversation from the other night. "Brennen, I have a weird question."

"I'm sure it's not weird, Bunny. You know you can ask me anything."

"Okay, so when we take that step, will it hurt?" 

"Do you mean like breaking the barrier, your cherry or my size?"

"Both."

He genuinely looked at me and caressed my cheek, "Yes, it will hurt at first. Your body expands to adjust to my size. So, if or when we take that step, we have to go really slow at first. I won't lie to you, but yes, it will hurt when you lose your virginity. From what I have been told, it is like an ache, not painful like cutting yourself, but like I'm trying to think of the best analogy. Let's see, okay, not quite as bad, but close if you have ever stepped on something small like a rock that ache that radiates through your foot. I would say the first few minutes could be compared to that with my um size. Does that help?"

"Yeah, a little. So, my body will adjust to your size? It will only hurt the first time, right, not every time?"

"Well, baby, that can depend on you. From what I have experienced with you, I'm not trying to be rude or disrespectful, so please don't take it that way; it is a very good thing for a guy. You are really tight, so it may be uncomfortable the first handful of times, then it will just feel normal, and then it may only hurt the first time and not again."