Amaryllis | REVIEW SHOP [ CLOSED ]

《Romana》The Cursed Shell

Client: S_R_Patra

Reviewer: this_is_butterfly

TITLE/COVER

The title perfectly fits the story. It is the object that is the motivation of the story's antagonist. It also serves as the main reason people in the story get murdered which results in moving the plot along.

A cover with clearer imagery of the scene that is being portrayed would be a better fit. The letters on the cover are legible. The usage of bold colors makes it stand out.

BLURB

The way it is written sparks a reader's curiosity. It gives enough of the necessary information without giving too much away. Not only does it introduce two of the main characters but also the main narrative of how the cursed shell is vital to the story.

'It will start from the end...', is a line that particularly stuck with me as I read the story. It is by far, the most intriguing part of the blurb.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/VOCABULARY

Firstly, there are some inconsistencies with the tense being used in some parts. Both in the paragraphs and in the dialogue. It's nothing a little editing can't fix.

Secondly, I would suggest the use of italics when displaying a character's thoughts. It would help the reader distinguish between thoughts and normal speech more easily.

Thirdly, I would also suggest that some of the longer paragraphs should be shortened. Introducing a new paragraph gives the reader a small break and helps them prepare for the information being presented in the new paragraph. It is typically done: when a new character is speaking, when the topic is changing, and when there is a change in the time or location of a scene.

Lastly, I would suggest that the dialogue can be placed in separate lines. If it is buried between paragraphs, there is a chance that the reader will miss out on reading it.

SETTING/WORLDBUILDING

The description of the setting is very vivid in most scenes. The reader can imagine both the characters and the scenery around them.

The mythology around the shell is very interesting. The way the object can impact so many lives, whether they are involved or not, makes the threat of what it is capable of more terrifying.

Seeing the way the mythology visibly impacts the lives of both of the main characters in different ways plays a part in making it more realistic to the reader.

PACING

The pacing is good. It is neither too fast nor is it too slow. Each chapter leaves the reader feeling that the story is progressing. Throughout the chapters, it shows the characters in different settings, making the reader see different sides of the character.

However, the explanation of the mythology behind the shell in the tenth chapter presents a lot of information that is difficult to digest as a reader. If information is presented in a short amount of time, it may result in the reader having to read through it multiple times just to try to understand what is going on.

CHARACTERS

The story gives very differing personalities and goals to such a large cast of diverse characters. Despite the story featuring very dark themes, there are some lighthearted moments sprinkled in between.

The speech they use in the dialogue reflects their varying ages, backgrounds, and motivations.

The assassin is a very mysterious character. Finding out about the sinister motivations behind his actions and his lack of remorse for what he has done makes him more terrifying.

Brute possesses a childlike curiosity for the world around him, from the way he is always asking questions. It makes him a refreshing character. His backstory makes him a character any reader would want to sympathize with.

Agent Dhawan is a character that possesses an interesting duality. On one hand, he fits the archetype of the lone detective while on the other hand, he has other qualities that reveal that he is more than that. His backstory is one of them, it shows that the way he chooses to live is all an effort to run away from his past. The execution of having a pet being treated like a character in the story was perfect. It leaves a bittersweet feeling. On one hand, the reader will appreciate the bond between them while on the other hand, it shows just how much he lacks human connection in his life.

OVERALL ENJOYMENT

The story is unlike anything I have ever read. That did not stop me from being genuinely invested in the unique plot and the interesting characters.