Amaryllis | REVIEW SHOP [ CLOSED ]

《Nihwé》Trust Me

Reviewer: MissRut

Trust Me by @sabz_parker

Thank you so much @sabz_parker for your time and trust regardless.

The Cover: The cover is quite telling on the entire story. First glance and you end up reliving every single bit of Spiderman you allowed yourself to get exposed to. Yet, one must admit, it is quite boring. As though it was hurriedly put together. We love seeing Andrew Garfield any day but the concept behind the cover is not in any way appealing. A lot of the text cannot be read off the cover except the words “trust me” and would not have been recognized as the title if it was not indicated in the book’s description. Making the title a part of the cover is important. 3 points.

The Title: Trust Me can tell its own story even without reading it. It is an open statement that braces readers for eventual heartbreak and confusion along the line. Purpose duly served. However maybe the intensity of the words would have been felt if it was a question. 5 points.

The Blurb: Too wordy. Rushed. Has a clumsy narrative. For the theme in mind, I will capitalize on the knowledge that leaving a little more to the imagination of your readers is important. It dictates the meaning behind the title over and over and the element of suspense is lost. 3 points.

The Setting:  We know the story kicks of in a school setting. Hello American teenagers. This one starts with you. Exactly where? I  cannot say for sure. Hardly any names are used in description of  locations. Scenes move by too quickly to grasp and it is hard to keep track and with the frequency at which it rains, it feels more like London. 10 points.

The Plot:  The fact that readers have an active part to play in the book is intriguing. All characters that played active roles in the story of Spider-Man are brought together under the same plot. The resultant effect is shocking. This is the first fan fiction of Spider-Man I  have come across and I  cannot say I am disappointed. I  honestly cannot predict the twist of fate that comes with trusting Peter myself. 10 points.

The Characters:  Peter, MJ, Aunt May, Uncle Ben, “Pete”, Gwen.  Nothing unordinary except— I  get to be a character to?! Wait, Ironman is my dad? And I  can talk to Ned? Loving the sense of role-play but there are still too many faceless characters. In addition, the characters that are well defined are still lacking proper expression. Though the characters are given life of their own, they need more room to play their part. 3 points.

The Content:  In terms of rating, this book is perfectly tame. Nothing graphic and plenty of relatable content for younger viewers in terms of school, moods, and experiences. The writer enjoys drawing out the action and does not miss an opportunity to throw in misadventures. However, the numerous holes in the setting makes it hard to hold on to the totality of the story itself. Despite this, it is a new form of adventure to seek one’s teeth into. If we dive into this book based on the blurb though, we might be kept on edge as we progress in chapters waiting for something to snap. 17 points.

Writing Style: The writer has a rather peculiar style of writing. How else can he presents such a wonderful theme but be content shy? He knows for sure how to keep readers on their toes with the way he plays on the narrative but seems to forget that one cannot stand on their toes without a bit of support. There is room for improvement and maybes good place to start would be properly examining the layout of science fiction to know how to use words, again, in context to give desired results. 8 points.

Grammar, Vocabulary & Sentence Structure: Unfortunately, this is where I  found most snags.
The dialogues are lacking in emotion and depth and rather unexciting. Emphasis is placed where it is unneeded and there is supposed to be a way for one point of view to complement another and not crashing narratives. I really advise the exploration of synonyms and contexts in which they are used because no matter how amazing a story is, the presentation is really what makes it readable.
Excessive repetition is a damper on things. I also recommend replacing ‘y/n’ with a unisex name and indicate that it is the character of the reader. Putting things in third person perspective helps a lot when it comes to describing scenarios. 14 points.

Engagement with Readers:  Fairly engaging. Strongest point is the weight of curiosity. Maybe in the end we can finally calm down and make sense of it all because we readers are running on sheer vibes, curiosity, and adrenaline. 13 points.

Total Points: 86/100

Overall, this is a fantastic book if we are judging by the story. The cover would have been a huge help with that as well as the overall presentation. My advice is slow down and take each chapter one at a time then consult an amazing graphics designer to put your imagination into illustration to the best of their ability. Expression is everything.