Amaryllis | REVIEW SHOP [ CLOSED ]

《Borb》Agent X

Title: Agent X
Client: ScribbleYourThoughts
Review: Public
Reviewer: Borbityborb

*Note - Author’s Note to “Assets and maps” were read

Book cover - 4 / 5
Visually, the cover is beautiful, including the font used. It does not really represent the story though, because the story’s world is not futuristic.

Book title - 5 / 5
The title is memorable and attention-grabbing. I also like the character’s name itself, “X”, because it denotes mystery.

Book description - 4 / 5
I liked the blurb because it is an intriguing preview of the story but does not give too much away. I only have 2 suggestions:
Remove the phrase “The task is simple” because it contradicts with the earlier phrase “...this mission will be the most challenging one X has ever taken up.”
Remove filler words such as “ever” and “practically”

Prologue/first chapter - 4 / 5
This covers “Beginnings and bye-byes”.
I really liked it! I could feel the tension between Agent X and Tasker when he was receiving his mission. The dialogue flows naturally, and the dynamic between the 3 characters (X, Sheaf and Tasker) show how SHADE is an enigmatic corporation but have solid cooperation. You write the emotions of the characters well.
To add to the atmosphere, I suggest you describe their surroundings more. What color are the walls and floors of the office? What about the temperature? Are there windows? Anything of significance like an exotic potted plant?

Plot - 14/20
You have a solid plot with strong points. The stakes are made known and the technologies are exciting to read about. I also like how SHADE and ACE work, both have interesting backgrounds and I’d like to learn more about how they operate. In terms of world-building and plot, you’re doing great.
What I feel could be improved is the drama factor of the story; the atmosphere of it, if you will. It’s a major part of keeping readers hooked. Here are my suggestions for adding more flavor:
Describe the surroundings more.
Build more tension by putting the characters at higher risks; I know there were some narrow-misses in the story, but it didn’t really impact me. Perhaps you could fix this by bringing the hero closer to the villain; for example, make X meet a SHADE member by accident and have to cover for himself. Another way to fix this is by making more narrow-misses/mistakes have heavier consequences. For example, after the SHADE intel member died in “Assets and maps”, make ACE increase their security/build a new entrance to their headquarters and closing the old disappearing-floor entrance.
Add more action. You said the genre of this story was “action”, but so far I haven’t read a fight scene. I know that you may have added them later on, but I think it’s important to add at least one this early in the story to set the tone. Futhermore, not only “fighting” action is needed, but “expositional” actions. What I mean by this is that you could replace exposition with action instead. For example: instead of explaining how a gun works, give a demonstration. Fire it.

Characters - 7/10
You told me to focus on characterization and development, so I will expound on just that!

Agent X - I like that he is smart, elusive, and none-other-than the best spy of SHADE, but I would’ve liked to see him set apart from other agents. The story keeps saying that there is no other agent like him, but I haven’t really seen X directly surpass other members, i.e. beating multiple spies in hand-to-hand combat. So far he is doing regular spy things such as gathering information and being stealthy, so I don’t really feel the prestige of his status. I’d also like to see his thought process more.

Hacker - She is definitely my favorite character. I like her personality and her dynamic with X, although sometimes I feel like they get along too quickly. Considering how opposite they are - elusive and silent with open and bubbly - I’d expect them to get into more disagreements that may even affect their mission. Basically, I want their relationship to affect the plot more, for better and worse. I suggest using Wednesday and Enid’s character dynamic for reference; it’s one of my favorite polar-opposite developments.

Sheaf - I think his personality could be made more distinct from the other two. Following X and Hacker’s big differences, he could be the glue of the trio that keeps them together. Basically a mom friend. So far he feels like a regular coworker, more like a background character than a protagonist alongside Hacker and X. I only get that he is trustworthy and hardworking. Perhaps you could add an important, distinct role him. If X is a spy and Hacker is a hacker, is he the driver that gets them around? The leader they have to give all their information to, or else they fail? Their martial arts trainer?

Overall, X and Hacker are very unique to each other, and both are characters I find worthwhile to read about, while Sheaf could stand out more. I believe their potential dynamics and developments are intriguing and unique from other books because of how different these three are from each other.

Pacing - 6/7
The pacing is just alright, not too slow and not too fast. Sometimes it feels a little slow because of exposition about technology/operations, which I’d rather see demonstrated firsthand. This doesn’t mean exposition should be avoided, though. There should be a balance of both action and dialogue when explaining things.

Enjoyment - 5/7
Spy stories aren’t really my thing, but I thoroughly enjoyed this book! It reminds me of SpyxFamily (only this time it’s SpyxFriends?) The writing style is very dynamic and keeps things moving so that I barely get bored. The character dynamics are fun and there are always new challenges in their mission that keeps the plot exciting.

Writing technique - 10/10
I like your writing style! It does not feel bumpy and it is easy to understand.

Grammar/spelling/vocab - 9/10
You’re more than adequate in this area. There are some spelling and grammar mistakes that can easily be fixed with a quick edit.

Overall - 68/84

Did you know you are my last review in this shop? I’m so glad that my last was a great book! I wish more writers like you could be acknowledged by Wattpad, because honestly, we need more spy stories with fun character dynamics.

Like I said, I don’t really like spy stories, and the fact that I enjoyed “Agent X” is proof that you are a very good writer. In my opinion your writing style is already sufficient; i’s the story that needs focusing on, particularly in setting up the tension and action. By the way, the aesthetics in the book were beautiful, and I enjoyed the creative reminders you left for us to vote xD Thank you, and I wish you good luck in your future stories!