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《Sara》Till Sunrise

Till Sunrise by ValerieEveDiestro

Reviewed by Moon_G0ddess

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#Cover:

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The cover is so beautifully unique and almost perfect in a way. It feels like I was going to read a Korean light novel or something, which I'm a fan of by the way. There's one minor thing that caught my attention though. They look so much alike on the cover that it appears as a brother and his little sister. I'm not sure it's the effect anyone would want for a romance story, but other than that, I personally loved it. Though it still feels like the quote is a little misplaced, but I can't think of a better place to put it, so I can't say much here

#Title:

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The title is actually perfect. At first, I couldn't understand the connection between the title and the story, but when I read it, I thought it was the most fitting title. And it does have a very attractive sound to it.

#Blurb:

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Once again, you've done well with the blurb. I love it. It has a unique hook to it, and the way it ended was so very alluring. There's nothing I would like to change about it. For once, I think this blurb needs no more improvement.

#Plot:

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I loved the plot. It is something I haven't read before. But it was a little bit too hurried. You wanted it all to be in one chapter, but in the way to achieve that, you forgot to write your story. Take it slow, breathe and read through your story and add the parts that the story needs. Delve more into the accident and how he became like that. Then give more space for Celine's death. That way, you will engage your readers' emotions and make them feel for Chester more. You can have more chapters. It won't be a problem. Three, four, or five chapters, and it is still a short story. The way it is right now, I would advise you to cut it in half and have two chapters. But if you add more material to your story, I don't expect it would need more than an additional chapter. It would be amazing then. But if you don't want to, just cut it in half, add more explanation, and it would be great. And the conversation with the upbeat girl sounded a little strange from beginning to end. She sounded a bit weird and a tiny bit crazy, to be honest. I felt like you should try reconstructing their conversation, especially the beginning, and add a little more to it, to give it more depth. You have a wonderful, deep story, but it is written in a way that could be described as shallow. What I mean here is you haven't given it its right.

#Characters' Development:

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It was short, but there was significant character development there. I don't think it needs any more improvement. Chester is understandably gloomy, but what I loved the most about his character was his hesitation throughout the entire phone call. How he wanted to just end the call but couldn't because her voice sounded so much like his Celine. It was obvious from that alone how much he longed for her presence, even if it is just her voice.

#Writing Style:

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Your writing style is good, but in some places, namely the emotional scenes, it becomes lacking. Your readers would want you to try harder to move their feelings with what you write. The memories of Celine were mostly dialogue, and the last scene too needs more description, more imagery. You don't apply literary devices enough in your style. It is more of you describing what's happening and what happened, sometimes how he feels, but nothing more. You need to add some metaphors, some similes, some imageries. Try to see from an artistic point of view. It would enhance your scenes and evoke emotions in your readers. Perhaps you don't have a problem with showing and telling, but showing us everything that needs to be shown exactly as it is and telling everything that needs to be told exactly as it is, without trying to paint it with a different color or exaggerating it a bit or using a small comparison, it won't do.