Amaryllis | REVIEW SHOP [ CLOSED ]

《Ananas》 Love At Dawn

Love at Dawn: by LiebeKlara
Reviewer: rebecca_batteur
Cover:
First of all, I want to say that I really like the illustration you used for your cover. You made a very smart use of Midjourney. At the start of every chapter, we get to see another illustration and I think you made them very cleverly. The style in them is very representative of your own as a writer and also of the themes in your story. Each one of them has a very special vibe to it and it manages to give the reader a representation of the characters in your story. Plus, the art is really well done but I don't really count it, since it's all thanks to an A.I., but that doesn't really matter. The point I'm making here is that your cover is inciting readers to read your story, since the art is appealing, the style is pleasant to see and it already gives us a few indications about the time your story is set in, since the art style is very representative of the one you could find during the 18th century, and also the genre we can expect. Just from the cover alone, if you don't pay attention to the title, you can already guess that this book is going to be about romance. It's not really about the characters displayed on the cover, but rather about the impression that it wants to leave on the reader: an atmosphere of love, joy, and youth. It actually reminds me of the books that were written by many women during the 17th century, telling stories about love and/or the purity of the countryside life, such as the Princess of Cleves.
As for the title, I would say that it doesn't really stand out to me, I like the font you used but maybe it would be even better if you added other elements to put more focus on it, but it's just details, apart from that, there is nothing to criticize about your cover. It does the job nicely and I only have compliments to give you for it.
Title:
Once again, there are not that many bad things to say about it. Your title works well, it represents your story, gives us information about the genre and also illustrates what we are more likely to see. "Love at dawn" for me means that this story is rather optimistic. The love story isn't meant to turn tragic. Dawn is the start of a new day, beginning anew in a brilliant rising. It immediately tells the reader that this story, if it can and will be sad or heartbreaking, won't end on a tragic note.
Blurb:
Here, I have to give credits, you really managed to impress me. It is perfectly written, without any spelling mistake or grammar mistake, which is a very good point and also very important in a blurb because it is one of the very first thing that the reader sees so if it doesn't leave a good impression or if it is not good, it will immediately have an effect on how much the reader will like your story. If you start off with a badly written blurb, the reader will already have a bad impression and will also be less likely to forgive any other mistake within the story. Yours here doesn't have that problem so it is a very good thing. The poem at the start is very well written and displays your rather romantic writing style, with rhymes and a Shakespearean like style. The blurb is already very inspiring and gives us the main themes that will be dealt with in the story.

Liberty, love and compassion. Everything is set up and we can only eagerly await what comes next.
The only bad thing I noticed is how you separated your main plot and your subplot. I think you should try to make it more subtle than this so the last sentence at the end feels more natural. But, despite that, this blurb is enticing and really pleasant to read.
Plot:
Now, about the plot. I have to say that the plot isn't particularly interesting as the things happening are already history, so there is not that sense of tension but it's also something that can easily be said about many historical fiction. The thing with your plot is that it is predictable but I think that it's almost intended to be that way. We already know that, at the end of the story, the two main characters survive, even though we may not know a few things, like Andre's backstory which is still a mystery, there is no sense of surprise. The only thing we might not know since the beginning is the other characters' fate. But, despite all of that, I believe that the most important element in your story isn't really the plot, but rather the characters and also the way the situation they're in is depicted. It's about your characters' development arc, it's about a love story and also a quest in understanding liberty and freedom.
And this is also confirmed from what you say in the blurb and in the first chapter. At the end of the blurb, it is made clear that this story is supposed to have a special happy ending. There is no real surprise here and you stated clearly how your story was going to end. You also say in the beginning of the first chapter that what you wrote is about love and compassion and also women in history. I want to dive into those two points. The first one is related to what I explained before concerning the plot. Your story isn't meant to leave the reader with questions, it's not here to make us wonder what will happen next, even though there are still things we can only wonder about. The main focus is on the characters and how they navigate through the society at this time in history, how they see the world around them, how they react in their social context, how the things around them are affected too by the Revolution. It presents the Revolution from many points of view, Andre's, Edith's, former nobles, with Charlene and Raphael... It is a character driven story and that is by no means a bad thing.
Now, to connect with what I said just before, you also make clear that you want this story to be about women who played important roles in history. Indeed, in your story, you show many important women figures at the time, such as Manon Roland or Lucile Desmoulins and I can only appreciate this demeanor. Edith herself is quite a brilliant woman, writing smart and witty articles, helping out Andre while writing his speeches or Lucile Desmoulins. This part reinforces the point I made before, that this story is a character driven one. I also think that it is very important to remind us that, in history, women played a role and weren't just standing idle. We tend to forget that women existed, even during the Revolution, alongside their husbands for example, as Manon Roland and Lucile Desmoulins did. We only remember about people like Danton or Robespierre and we forget that they weren't the only protagonists of this story. Characters:

Now, on to my next point. After establishing that your story is a character driven one, I would like to focus a lot on the way you treated your characters, to see if you succeeded in bringing them to life. Since your story isn't meant to captivate the reader with its plot, it can only do it using its characters, their dynamics and development arcs. I wanted to say that I found some characters to be very interesting, for example, Raphael. At first, I found him quite annoying and depressed about everything but, in the chapter, Raphael confides, he takes a whole other dimension and becomes someone way more profound, with his unrequited love for Edith and his quite terrible fate of losing everything he once had. It's deep and we can easily connect with it. This chapter was one of my favorite and almost made me want him to end up with Edith seeing how deep his feelings for her were. But then, I also have a bit of criticism to make. I think that you don't emphasize enough on the relationship between Andre and Edith. We feel since the beginning that they seem to have something for one another but there is not that much more to it. For some reason, I found that they didn't have that much chemistry and I didn't really feel involved in their relationship, for example, when Andre got hurt. When his life was at risk, it is said that Edith felt regrets and remorse for not telling him before he left that she loved him but it is not insisted upon again. I think you could have made Andre's convalescence way longer, to give Edith more time to process her feelings for him and make her come to the conclusion that she doesn't want to leave without him. I also felt like everything was going too fast between them. They met again after not seeing each other for years and instantly felt attracted to each other, not having a moment of hesitation. Edith, for example, could have felt a little weird over starting to have romantic feelings towards someone she previously considered a mentor. And Andre isn't shown to have that much regret about leaving her without any explanation. Edith herself doesn't bring up the subject again or request a more thorough explanation. At one point, they have a fight. I think it would have been interesting here to make Edith question herself as to who Andre really is, after all, she knows barely anything about him or his past, what he did during the years they were separated or even why he went from a painter to a politician. She could also feel awkward with him having a somewhat double personality at work and at home, feeling like she doesn't really know him. That could make their relationship deeper. I also had the feeling that, every time they interacted, it was to talk about revolution or liberty, almost never do we see them talking about something else.
I have to say that I did like Edith's development from a pretty fanatical person who believed everything the Revolution did to be right to someone a bit more open to other opinions, for example when she is taught by Manon Roland not to disregard the sufferings of the higher class, especially the women or even when she goes to Vendée with Andre and witness the rebellion there. I hope we can see more of her changing and accepting other points of view but this is already great.
Also, I wanted to add that you depicted the people's suffering very well. Pacing:

The pacing was pretty good, even if I would have preferred some parts to be longer to dive more into the characters' feeling. Your parts are well divided and don't feel too long to read. They easily captivate the reader's interest and make binge-reading a pleasant thing to do.
Writing style:
You have a very special writing. Sometimes, I feel like your story lacks description or a setting but then I also see very precise descriptions of some character's feelings. You also have nicely written poems. I think you should maybe take more time to try and make some parts dive more into the characters emotions, because, as of now, the writing quality is sometimes unequal. Grammar:
I noticed no mistakes at all and I really wanted to congratulate you for that. It must be very hard as a foreigner to write in a language that you are not the most familiar with, and also to write about events from another country than your own. And you still managed to impress me with your vast knowledge of things and events. You are a very cultured person.
Personal Enjoyment:
I enjoyed your story very much and it is most likely that I will continue to read it even now that the review is completed. The story you tell is interesting and you clearly put a lot of thought into it.
Thank you so much for choosing me as your reviewer and also for taking an interest in my own story ! I took a lot of pleasure in reviewing your book. Don't hesitate to contact me again if needed or if you have any remark about my review.