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《Swaralee》 Whirlwind

Whirlwind by softyhartz

Reviewer: _Swaralee_

Thank you for choosing me to review your book!

Cover: 10/10

The use of simple images for such genres is always a great choice. It's not crowded and the vibes just match perfectly. I absolutely love it when the cover uses less than three fonts. In terms of types of fonts, less is better. I really dig this cover.

Title: 09/10

Now I'm not sure if Whirlwind is supposed to represent Ethan or Alyson. Although at the start of the story, you do hint at it. So I'm thinking it's Ethan. Either way, the title doesn't give away much information but still captures the attention. It's a good choice for a title.

Blurb: 09/10

For getting the main conflict out there, the current blurb is excellent. Just hits you straight with it. And that description of the story is enough to get readers interested. It's short and to the point.

Opening/first impression: 10/10

First of all, the presentation with aesthetics/banners is top-notch. It's really done well. Secondly, it's a strong start. Diving right into the story without going round and round about the character's life. We get to know who our main character is. And the food descriptions just made me hungry!

Plot: 07/10

Rekindling a relationship with an ex? Things are about to get awkward and bitter and nostalgic and hopeful all at the same time. It's an excellent plot line to make readers sit on the edge of their seats and contemplate if the two main characters will or will not end up together again.

Originality-wise, it's not something readers haven't seen done before. But what you have done with the story brings out this fresh new take on the storyline. It's a setting that I haven't seen done before.

The pacing of the story is pretty decent. As I said, it started strongly and going forward, it doesn't get stalled. So that's a good thing.

Dialogues: 09/10

Considering the technical aspect of the dialogue, it was perfect. They conveyed what needed to be conveyed. They pushed the story further and introduced the style of speaking for the characters. I always appreciate when writers stick to 'says' or 'asks' and don't introduce the whole synonym-vocabulary of those words. So good job there.

Characters: 06/10

Alyson agonizing over the hope that she might meet Ethan was really sad. She misses him and she is hoping to see him again. Ethan being surprised and calling her was kind of sweet. His saying sorry was sweet. His wanting to meet her again was sweet. And from what little I got to read in the first few chapters. I couldn't picture the main character, Alyson, and the love interest, Ethan, as real human beings.

Maybe you explore their characters broadly further into the story and give them those qualities, traits, mannerisms and personalities which will make them stand out as an individual believable person. But right now, they don't feel like real people. They feel very one-dimensional. They could use a little more character study and editing.

Alyson and Ethan's chemistry was pretty good. I can see how they could have liked each other and dated. That part of their characters was done nicely.

Quality of conflict: 08/10

In terms of tension within the conflict, it isn't something groundbreaking. Like it's not a life-and-death kind of situation. And that being said, the stakes in the story are quite low. In a romance novel, the most common and obvious tension (worry) is they may not end up together. So to keep the readers hooked from start to end, we need the drama. Which in this case, isn't really there.

Writing skills: 09/10

The writing style was simple and easy to read. The pacing was executed well. Breaking of sentences and paragraphs was done by the book. For readers who enjoy contemporary fiction, they will enjoy it very much. Grammar-wise, I couldn't find any mistakes or errors. You did a great job, paying attention to details.

Reader enjoyment: 09/10

Your ex coming back into your life is a very interesting trope being practiced, and I have seen many people try and fail. This story, however, didn't fail to hit its mark. As I said, writing-wise, it's very easy to binge-read. The readers may have a difficult time connecting with the characters. But apart from that, I'm sure readers will love this story.

Total: 86/100

Other suggestions: To make the characters feel more human-like, there are tons of templates and checklists available on the Internet to use. They will help with building each character as an individual person and make them believable. That's my only suggestion. Again, I liked the storyline at its core. The writing is beautiful. The world-building was amazing. And I hope Alyson and Ethan are happy by the end of the story, regardless if they are together or not.