Amaryllis | REVIEW SHOP [ CLOSED ]

《Yasmin》Autobot Academy

Autobot Academy by Gedemog
Reviewer: Owls1221

Title: 8/10
That's actually a nice title. It gives the impression of your interpretation/idea of the plot.

Cover: 7/10
The cover is very simple, and it easily gives the readers the immediate idea that this is a transformers fanfiction and what it's all about.

Summary: 6/10
Personally, it didn't hook me BUT it did make me curious because of the perspective. And it gives that idea of what might possibly happen, are their relationship going to be good or bad? Is this student secretly bad? Etc.

Grammar: 9/10
There were slight run-on sentences but it didn;t affect me much. Most of the grammar was correct.

Vocabulary: 8/10
Simple words were used to convey direct and simple meanings and ideas, but there were some few interesting words used.

Spelling: 10/10
No mistakes in spelling

Hook: 8/10
Again, it didn't hook much but it got me interested for a few reasons. Which will be explained later.

Character Development: 7/10

I haven't read the entire book but I did see a small amount of character development. The MC went from "I'm not payed enough for this" to "Okay students! We're going to learn this!". It was good that we get to learn more about him through the dialogue.

Plot Development: 8/10
The plot progressed but in a quick way (the chapters were short)

Personal Enjoyment: 9/10
I think I actually enjoyed reading this book for a couple of reasons. One, I like Transformers myself. And two, the style you used. But I will explain about style later cause it's a deep explanation.

Punctuation: 8/10
It was mostly fine, there weren't a lot of errors.

Pacing: 9/10
The pacing felt kinda short and long at the same time? Like chapter 5 where the MC gives the lesson. It was lengthy I admit but it felt like a short chapter that focused on the lesson only, which made it quick. I don't know how to explain it but mostly the pacing was good despite what I said. 

Writing: 9.5/10
The style looked more like screenwriting which was fine. But maybe you should fix it teeny tiny bit when it comes to the charcters performing actions. Like for example if the characters is holding something you could something like this:
Mai : I think you're going to like it
*Mai puts the plate on the table*
That way we can differentiate whether the character is talking or doing something.
Now here's the fun part. A lot of people might think your story is boring or bad due to style and how characters interact, however, from an English Literature Student's perspective (that's me) I think what you've done is brilliant.
Here's why, you might have done this unintentionally but I see you've used metafiction in your writing. It's basically a genre in which the characters are aware they are characters by talking and commenting on the writing conventions in the book I'm reading. Like the MC's dialogue with Caleven when they talk about "you're the chosen one, that's what happens etc." which I found it fun and funny. That's what made me enjoy your book. It showed that you're kinda making fun of "chosen one" trope and it gave me that kind of awareness. Basically, it's like a  parody and you used metafiction to portray that. XD

Overall, the book is actually good if you think about it from this perspective.