Amaryllis | REVIEW SHOP [ CLOSED ]

《Blade》Not Your Pretty Boy

Reviewer: DeathBlade__
Written by: gaymer-bxtch

Title: 5/5
The title was honestly perfect! It’s a simple title but with a significant impact. Its simplicity is not a negative because reading the title I was already intrigued! You’ve done a great job with it!

Cover: 4.5/5
The cover is simple but very aesthetically pleasing. It sets the point straight that it’s about a boy who appears to be perfect, which is great! The only thing I can tell you to change would be the font used for mentioning the author’s name. It just looks a little out of place when compared to the rest of the cover. Other than that, its wonderful!

Blurb: 4/5
The blurb in its entirety was very good. The writing style was amazing and even the way you’ve written it looks really pretty. But, to me the last line felt a bit incomplete. The first time I read it, I loved it, but I went over it one more time. I still really liked but you kept mentioning us. I was a bit confused because you hadn’t mentioned who us is. It may have been the other characters but I wasn’t really sure. That was the only hindrance and clearing that up by making it more specific would be lovely.

Writing Style: 10/10
I honestly really can’t complain. It’s very clear that you have put a lot of effort into the book and it shows. The way everything is laid out is so good. I can feel what Parker is feeling and that is a very important part of writing books in the genre you are. I really enjoyed reading it for the same reason because although I didn’t know Parker all that well (since it’s only two short chapters) I could still sympathize with him. Well done!

Grammar: 10/10
From the two chapters I read, I really couldn’t spot a single error! As I mentioned, it's so clear how much effort you’ve put into the book and it is commendable. The only thing I can really say is, keep up the good work!

Plot: 6/10
Now, I did enjoy reading the book but I wasn’t really sure where it was going. I also read in your author’s note that you may end the book with the second chapter, so I wasn’t sure if it was a short story or a novel. If it’s a short story, then I the ending was great but that wasn’t made clear so assuming it would be continued, I couldn’t see the path the book was headed toward. But don’t worry too much about it, it’s only the first two chapters; as the book progressed it will sort itself out.
You also asked me to check if you changed contexts too much; I didn’t notice anything as such in the first chapter. The second chapter however started off with Parker’s hair and the next scene was about people’s imagination. Usually, context changes are not a big deal and I wasn’t too bothered by it but I would advise you to write little longer chapters for the context switches to fit in better. 

Characters: 6/10
Just like the plot, I don’t think it would be fair to judge the characters based on two chapters. But from what I’ve read, I feel a pull towards Parker and I want to understand him more. You’ve done a good job creating an intriguing aura around him but also, I don’t have enough information to know what he’s fully like.
I know he isn’t perfect and I know he’s into guys but can’t tell anyone. Both of those alone is such a strong base for a great character but I really can’t rate this any higher, because I do not think I have enough information.
Still, if you are continuing the book, I can’t see any reason why he wouldn’t be a loveable character.

Overall enjoyment: 5/5
I really loved your book. It has so much potential and I can really tell you put a lot of effort. I was mindblown. I don’t usually comment on books of people I’m reviewing but the line in the first chapter The question is, when will that be, and will I be ready?
It was just such a perfect line, delivered so perfectly, I was in love.
I hope you get ideas so you can continue writing, because it has great potential.
Good luck!!!

Total: 50.5/60