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《Swaralee》Fourteen Ways of Looking at a Cicada

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Fourteen Ways of Looking at a Cicada by ftnrdake

Reviewer: _Swaralee_

Cover: 08/10
The image used is... interesting to say the least. I'm not sure how the cicada, the insect, relates to the story. The cover as a whole is great. A perfect balance of colors and fonts. Not too crowded or too plain.

Title: 07/10
I didn't understand the meaning behind the title. Like the cicada. I'm assuming it will be revealed later or addressed and justified further into the story. So that being said, I couldn't understand the rest of the title either. Is there a symbolism that I'm missing?

Blurb: 08/10
The blurb gives a little idea about what the story is, without giving away any spoilers. However, my only criticism would be that it's kind of vague. We know who the characters are but we don't know the story plot-wise. I would suggest adding some of the plot points into the blurb, so the readers will know what they are getting themselves into.

Opening/First Impression: 10/10
First of all, the illustration/graphic was spectacular! Secondly, introducing the main character in the first few paragraphs always works wonders when starting a story. We get to know a little bit about Xiaofan and her backstory. We get to know about the place where she came from and where she lives now. So the opening, according to me, was perfect.

Plot: 09/10
The world-building was quite good, assuming the places and events happening in the story don't exist and never occurred, except for a few. Given the fact that the story is evidently supernatural, adding different settings and local affairs works really well.
The main plot of the story is the romantic relationship, I gathered, and it's always refreshing and engaging to read about vampires falling in love with humans.

Dialogues: 09/10
I always look forward to reading the dialogues, as they reveal the character's traits, thoughts, and way of speaking. They should either further the plot or present new information about the character. Which in this case, was done perfectly. There was no doubt in my mind who was saying what while reading.
Grammar-wise, I couldn't find any slip-ups. However, the punctuation could use some attention and editing so the narration will flow better.

Characters: 10/10
Xiaofan's innocent way of looking at the world and people around her while being in a supposedly different region than where she grew up felt real and believable. She must have loved her husband when she decided to go with him to this place. It's her sense of good nature and humor that just makes her so much more likable.
Carmilla's mysterious character makes her intriguing. She is hot and good-looking and sweet and anyone can fall in love with her. I don't blame Xiaofan for being infatuated with her. Even I loved her while reading.
Mrs. Moore getting nervous and anxious and flustered around Carmilla was very cute and funny. I mean I would too if Carmilla gave me even half the attention. I felt their chemistry every time they looked at each other, talked, or just simply interacted. Imagine my disappointment when I found out they didn't really kiss in chapter two, but it was just a dream. It was brilliantly written nonetheless.

Quality of conflict: 09/10
Now I'm assuming the conflict that will arise later on in the story will be about Xiaofan not being able to understand her feelings for Carmilla, feeling like she is cheating or betraying her husband. And Carmilla being a vampire doesn't necessarily help. That conflict in itself is not groundbreaking, it has been done before, but from what little I got to read about it, I'm already sure that you will manage to add a personal touch to it that will make the story different from others.

Writing skills: 10/10
There is hardly anything that I found out of place or could use a finer observation of editing. Grammar and Punctuation were used correctly, though another round of editing will eliminate what little errors I found here and there. I could point out a few things like spacing between two words, and grammar oversight. Sometimes the metaphors got a bit over the top.
But apart from that, the flow of the writing style was smooth and natural, it never felt forced or sounded cliché. The use of language was beautifully done. It's very rare to find such good writing where it's quite impossible to point out mistakes. So good work there.

Reader enjoyment: 09/10
Personally, I dig stories like these. Exciting plot, beautiful writing, captivating characters, and an engrossing storyline. Readers love everything that features this kind of narrative. Queer stories like this, though plenty on Wattpad, aren't easy to find. At least not the ones that have such appealing writing.

Total: 89/100
Other suggestions: There aren't any suggestions per se, except for what I said about grammar and punctuation. I'm pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed reading the story. It gets kind of difficult to read when something isn't written and presented in a comprehensible way. This story, however, was so amazing. From the moment I started reading I was invested! I'm genuinely rooting for Carmilla and Xiaofan!