Amaryllis | REVIEW SHOP [ CLOSED ]

《Borb》Black and White

Black and White (by DeathBlade__)
*Note: Prologue - Chapter 3 were read

Book cover - 5/5

The monochrome palette fits the grimness of the story's mystery and the font is beautiful.

P.S. I love the aesthetics! After journeying with the characters I think it suits them well and the face claims are how I'd imagine them irl, too.

Book title - 4/5

The title fits the story well, although I believe you can make it stand out more because there are a lot of books called "Black and White."

Book description - 3/5

It's very engaging! It summarizes the story but doesn't give too much away, like a good movie trailer to hook audiences in.

I noticed the common use of the word "had" in the blurb. Personally I prefer blurbs with the majority of their tenses in the present because it gives a vibe of - This is happening right now. You need to find out why it did now. Read my book now. If past tense is used, the vibe sort of becomes - This happened, it's all in the past. The characters already solved their problems, nothing to see here.

There's also some filler words, but blurbs usually get straight to the point. There's also some phrases such as "confined to the university building" that seem abrupt, as the readers wouldn't know or care about said university building, and it could break the tension of the blurb.

Here's how I'd reword some lines of the blurb. I added some 2nd person nouns such as "you" to invoke a stronger sense of invitation to the reader:

Evelyn Turner made a promise to herself: to turn her life around. [...]

Life isn't easy when everyone belittles you and chalks up your prowess to your parents' fame. So when Levi Coleman asks her to vie for his innocence, she could hardly refuse this chance to prove herself.

[...] There is someone controlling behind the scenes - someone she knew. The arson fire is not merely a crime, but the start of a dangerous threat to *city/town*.

With her past on one side and the prosecutor on the other, she has nowhere to turn to but mystery. Here, there is no black and white; everyone is in the gray.

Prologue - 3/5

The plot was engaging and I especially liked the last line, "I will make you proud." It serves as two things: first, a signal that this is how Evelyn was motivated to be a lawyer. Second, it made me turn to the next page. Well done!

I was confused with two things. First, is the lawyer defending her her uncle? I could not infer if she called the lawyer "uncle" out of fondness or because they're actually related.

Second, what are the charges held against Evelyn? She seems too young to have commited a crime. I understand this may be explained later, but it'd be nice to leave a clue or two so that readers won't be reading the prologue in confusion. Rather, they should be intrigued.

Plot - 12/20

You asked for my thoughts on how interesting the book is. My answer is… very! The execution just has room for improvement.

Chapter 1 - I like that you introduced us to Evelyn's workplace, the relationships she has, and a flare of her personality. It's combined very well and flows smoothly!

In the other hand, I don't prefer stories to start with morning routines/at home and going to workplace. My attention is seized more if the story opens with a drastic event in the workplace, and the protagonist then goes home. This pacing is more dramatic in showing the difference between workplace and home, and potentially the person's character. For example, in the office the person may appear calm and collected, but at home his room is full of drawings and he actually hates his job because it restricts his creativity. See? There's this surprise/curiousity factor in it.