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《Maria》Twisted Ways

"Twisted Ways"

Story by hyunspic

Reviewer: marshaa1306

Title/Cover - 9/10
I like your title because it could be interpreted in many different ways. It could mean that maybe the protagonist’s path is twisted and complicated. It could mean that the antagonist’s methods are twisted and evil. It could mean a few other things as well. It makes your reader wonder about the context of your title.
Your cover has a nice contrast between the dark character in the background and the white text over the top. The words are easy to read, and your name is clearly displayed. My one qualm with your cover is that the image is a bit blurry. I’m not sure if this was on purpose or if the clarity of the image was lost in translation, but I think a sharper image would be the cherry on top for your cover.

Blurb - 9/10
Your blurb is short and to the point while still introducing the main characters, the setting, and the premise of the story. I advise adding some sort of question at the end of your blurb instead of a statement. That’ll add some intrigue and get your readers thinking even more.

First few chapters/Exposition - 10/10
The prologue and first chapter set your story up really nicely. The prologue got my heart racing and my eyes flying across my screen effortlessly! I desperately hope the scene is explained later on in your book because I need answers. Moving on, your first chapter was very well written. It jumped right into what the conflict of the story was going to be while introducing the characters and setting at the same time. I appreciate how you did all your introductions and kept your story moving simultaneously. It made for a smooth beginning to your story that was wonderful to read.

Plot - 18/20
I like how your plot is very realistic. Nothing comes easily to your detectives, the cases have dead ends and rough spots, and your characters have lives outside of their jobs. That last point is especially what makes your story unique. I feel like a lot of mysteries neglect to show the reader the main character’s life outside of them trying to solve the main mystery. Including that little thing made your story come to life and become that much more relatable for readers like me.
When you write, be careful not to add details just for the sake of adding details. For example, in chapter two, you include the names of the songs that Chan, Hyunjin, and Jeongin choose for karaoke. That kind of information isn’t really necessary. All it does is add words to your chapter. Try to spend more time writing the parts of your story that hold real importance instead of dwelling on those little details that don’t matter.

Pace - 10/10
Great work here. Your story has a nice fluctuation of faster and slower-paced moments that move the story along well.

Grammar, Punctuation, Syntax & Diction - 9/10
In the grammar and punctuation department, I didn’t spot any major issues. There was maybe a typo here or there, but it was overall very clean writing. Nice work!
The only critique here is that you tend to say “the male”, “the older” and “the younger” a lot when you write interactions between characters. These terms are nice to use every once and a while to switch up word choice, but you use them a bit too often. There’s nothing wrong with just using a pronoun or your character’s name when you’re writing about them.

Characters - 13/15
Your characters are very strong in some aspects and weaker in others. On the strong side, your characters have very developed relationships. The way they interact with each other is flawlessly realistic and consistent with the level of familiarity they have. It makes reading about them seem very natural. On the weaker side, your characters don’t have very defined physical characteristics. I don’t really know what any of them look like, and it makes visualizing them pretty tricky. I advise working their physical descriptions into your story in some way.

Overall Enjoyment - 14/15
I will admit, I wasn’t sure what to expect when I first began reading your story. I have a love-hate relationship with mysteries since some mysteries are really good and others are just bad. I’m pleased to say that this one landed on the better side of the spectrum. I hope you will continue writing in the future, and good luck in your writing career!

Total Score: 92/100