Amaryllis | REVIEW SHOP [ CLOSED ]

《Maria》Perfect Imperfections

Reviewer: marshaa1306
Written by: 5454tiffany

Before we begin, let me just say that your writing style gets a chef's kiss from me. Reading your writing is like biting into a lucious chocolate cake. I want to savor every moment of it.

Title/Cover - 10/10
I like how the title is a clever play on words. It also had kind of a lovey-dovey sort of feel to it that corresponded perfectly with the genre.
The cover had an excellent, warm color scheme and clearly displayed the book's details. I like how it incorporated each of the three characters that made up the three sides of the book's love triangle.

Blurb - 8/10
Your blurb has some really good things and some not-so-good things. Two of the good things you did were how you introduced each character separately and asked your readers questions at the end. The main critique I have is that your blurb is super long and drawn out. At the beginning of your blurb, all of the things you say don't have a lot of meaning. They vaguely reference characters and events that your readers don't know about, and the phrases you use sound painstakingly cliché. By about the third paragraph, I was bored with reading it. It sounded like every other romance novel I've ever read. My advice to you here is to get rid of four of the first five paragraphs. The first three paragraphs and the fifth one are unnecessary and just add words to your blurb. The fourth paragraph (the one talking about three lives, three hearts, one heartbeat) can be your segue into introducing the three lives that you're referencing. That way, your blurb is shortened so it is more concise. It will also pack a greater punch.

Grammar, Punctuation, Syntax & Diction - 7/10
There are just a couple of things that need to be addressed here:
It's not wrong to have long sentences, but some of yours need to be chopped up. They're difficult to understand and they interrupt the flow of the story. Breaking up long sentences can increase the pace of certain moments as well since readers can fly through short sentences more quickly. It will also vary your sentence length a bit more.
Something I noticed is that you use the word "kissed" a lot in your writing. You might want to find a synonym and use it in place of "kissed" sometimes to change up your word choice.
I found more run-on sentences than I would have liked. When you're writing, remember to begin a new sentence or make a compound sentence if you're not sure. A way to think about this is if you start a new thought, you should start a new sentence.

Characters - 15/15
This story is one of the few stories I've read where I feel like I've truly understood the characters. All three characters' hearts were on display, and they were so raw and real. I can't quite describe how your characters made me feel while I was reading. I have no words. Just know that if I could give you a sixteen out of fifteen, I would. Keep up the great work!

Overall Enjoyment - 15/15
Reading your story was a real treat. It felt like such a personal experience, and your characters and storyline were some of the best I've ever seen. I'm going to read this one to the end; you have me hooked! Amazing, amazing, amazing job!

Total Score: 95/100