Amaryllis | REVIEW SHOP [ CLOSED ]

《Dee》Haywire Ranger

Reviewer: dojacant

Client: marsaumell

Thank you for choosing me to review your story!

Title/Cover: 10/10

I thought the cover was gorgeous. The bright gold and the images catch the eye, and the fonts are big enough to see clearly. It definitely suits the story. The title is effective as well. It's intriguing and fits well.

Also, since I don't typically do a separate section for the blurb, I just wanted to say that your blurb is incredibly effective! It's well-written, gives enough information without giving away the story, and would definitely make me want to read it.

Grammar/Syntax: 10/10

I can sometimes be a stickler for grammar, but I didn't really see any grammatical issues. The sentences flow smoothly, and your detailed descriptions help readers envision everything that's happening in the story without bogging the story down. Honestly, I really have no critiques to offer here.

Plot: 9/10

I thought the plot was really unique and exciting! I think something I tend to struggle with in my own writing is writing action scenes that seem realistic and not repetitive, so I'm in awe of how great all of the action was in your story. Particularly, in the second chapter, when you described what the streets looked like, I felt like I was there with Sky.

The world-building is also amazing in this story, a feat I'm always impressed with because I know how difficult that can be. I like how it starts with action, and the backstory is kind of sprinkled in throughout. Sometimes these types of stories can be overwhelming when everything is introduced all at once, but you did a good job of giving readers enough information without dumping it all into the intro.

I really liked the part when Sky finds out that Haywire isn't evil like everyone thought they were and decides to help it. Sky talks about the irony of how phoenixes kill humans, but at that moment all of the humans treated Sky terribly and the phoenix was the one being nice to him. I think it's actually a really powerful message that the overall plot of the story continues to convey.

Characters: 10/10

Sky is a great protagonist. He's really easy to root for, plus everyone loves a good underdog. I thought that, even in this fictional world you've created, his plight of not passing his admission test was very relatable. I could definitely feel his shame as I was reading, thinking that if I had failed a big exam I recently took for a certification, I would've felt the exact same way. Furthermore, his mother's high expectations of him is also something I think a lot of readers can relate to, and how he was determined to prove that he wasn't a failure. The first couple of chapters really did a good job of characterizing Sky, making him a well-rounded character.

Aunt Naomi is also a great character, I thought. She's kind of a voice of reason for Sky, telling him that not living up to his mother's expectations isn't the end of the world.

Sky's mother, on the other hand, made me so frustrated, especially when she didn't believe that he was able to hit the Sonic Echo Ranger. Her character helped show why Sky is the way that he is, filled with self-doubt, and at the same time always feeling the need to prove himself.

Overall Enjoyability: 9/10

I really enjoyed reading your story! It was intriguing right off the bat, and it's very well-written. Also, the characters are compelling and well-rounded. I would definitely recommend this story to anyone who likes coming-of-age sci-fi stories!

Total: 48/50