My Heart is Broke-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 23

I take a sip of the Sprite and continue where I left off. "I'm twenty years old. I'm not educated enough on politics. I wasn't exposed to any of that when I was younger-my father never talked to me about politics, so I'm uneducated. I obviously have some opinions, but I guess you can say that I'm more in the middle."

He nods his head, acknowledging what I just said. "Well, I think that's very smart. There's some ignorant people out there that don't think that way and just think that they know everything."

"People think that they know everything that they're passionate about," I state. I've thought about this so much and I love to talk about it. "I mean, think about it. You're passionate about feminism and you think that you know everything about it. If you were to argue with someone about it, you would be able to fight back no matter what."

"Yeah, I see what you're saying, but I don't know everything about guitar."

I chuckle softly. "Well, I sure hope not!"

He furrows his eyebrows. "You know, you're really beautiful."

I blush and gasp at the same time he says this. No one's every randomly said that I am beautiful before. I mean, Ethan used to tell me, but that was when I dressed up a little or did something out of the ordinary. I'm looking like how I normally do and Kurt still thinks I'm beautiful. 

"Thank you," I can't stop smiling. 

He chuckles. "It's hot in here."

"So, you guys are leaving to go to Canada next month?" I ask. I haven't brought this up to Kurt yet-or the fact that Krist invited me to go with him. I want to know if Kurt wants me to go with him or not. 

"Yeah," He replies. "It's really short, though. It's only for a couple of days."

"Oh," I bob my head up and down softly, waiting for him to comment on how he wants me to go with him. "Well, you're going to be leaving then, right?"

"Canada isn't here, is it?"

I furrow my eyebrows. Kurt has a very sarcastic sense of humor. Most of the time I can tolerate it, but other times, I can't. 

I decide to speak up my intentions because I know that Kurt won't be doing what I want him to. "Krist asked me to go with you guys to Canada a while ago."

"I know," He takes a sip of his drink. 

"Well, what do you think about that?" 

"Are you going to be going with?"

"I don't know," I reply, throwing my hands up into the air. 

He chuckles.

The waiter brings our food and I immediately dip my grilled cheese into the tomato soup. 

I've always liked grilled cheese. Whenever I was home alone in New York, I would make grilled cheese. My father taught me how to make it when I was eleven and he would always ask me to make it for him. 

"What should we do after this?" Kurt asks me. 

I shrug my shoulders. "We can fuck in the alley."

His eyes light up. "Let's do it now."

I smile softly at him and turn my head away to look at the door. There's people walking through it and just minding their own business. 

After my father first hurt me, I would always look at people and wonder if they had something fucked up happen in their lives, but we would never know. I walked around and no one knew that there was something fucked up happening in my life.