My Heart is Broke-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 13

"No it fucking wouldn't," Kurt chimes in. 

"We're not going to let you leave," Krist decides, not even giving me a choice-he's choosing for me. "I don't care if he comes here and fucking burns the house down. You're my sister and I'm going to protect you, alright? Now, I have a plan. Kurt has an apartment that you can stay in, so we'll just keep you there for the time being."

Kurt and I lock eyes. My eyes widen and I shake my head vigorously, looking back at Krist. 

"No, I'm not staying with him," I say. "I'm sorry if that's harsh, but I literally can't. That's basically cheating."

Kurt scoffs. "It's not like we're going to be having sex, Kaitlyn."

"I wouldn't want Ethan staying in an apartment with the chick he's working with in Canada right now," I continue. "It's just not right."

"His father isn't threating him, now is he?" Krist asks me. 

"No, but I just can't. I fucking can't, alright? I'll just buy an apartment and stay there-"

"You don't even have a job, Kaitlyn."

"Then I'll sleep on a fucking bench or something!"

"Kurt is not that bad," Krist chuckles. "Come on, I'm pretty sure that if Ethan knew the situation he would be alright with it."

"It's like you don't even care about me, Krist. You're just making a big decision for me on your own."

"What's your decision, hm?! Leaving the state? Sorry, but you can't."

I groan. "There just has to be something else." I don't even feel the least bit guilty if I'm offending Kurt in any way. He had this coming. If he thinks that I'm not going to act bothered by the fact that I'll have to live with him, then he's wrong. He shouldn't have fucking kissed me. 

"I don't think there is," Shelli softly says, walking over to me and placing a hand on my shoulder. "We just want what's best for you. Your father doesn't even know Kurt exists. The first thing he's going to do is he's going to come here and try to find you-if he even does come here. We'll wait a little and if he doesn't come, then you're more than welcome to stay back here. None of us want anything happening to you."

"How long would I have to stay with him?" I ask. 

"Probably until Ethan gets back," Krist replies. "Then maybe you guys could buy an apartment or something. By that time, you'll have a job. And Shelli and I could help pay for it, depending on how much it costs."

I am so thankful for them for putting this much thought into something like this-into me. I never would've thought that I would be worth this much to anybody. My father always made me feel like I was worthless, but Krist and Shelli-and dare I say Kurt-have all made me feel really special and loved. 

But, at the same time, I almost wish that they didn't care so much and would just let me leave. I don't want anything bad happening to them. If my father does come, things are not going to end out well and I do not want anything to happen to them. Not after everything that they've done for me. 

I have no choice but to move in with Kurt. I know that Krist and Shelli aren't going to have it any other way. I wonder if it was Kurt's idea or their idea. "When do I move?" I ask. 

"Today," Krist and Shelli say in unison. 

"You don't have a lot of belongings, so we could get it done all today," Krist explains. "Dave will be coming by to help us, too."

I nod and go back into my bedroom and softly cry. Just when I thought that things were going to be going well again, of course this had to fucking happen. Nothing about my life would ever be easy. Something was bound to happen.