My Heart is Broke-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 11

"You can talk to me," I gently put my hand on his arm. "I'm not going to judge you or anything."

"It would just be nice to feel like someone cared that much."

"What are you talking about?" I ask as we approach the car. We start unloading everything inside. 

"You're worried so much about whether or not Krist will like your gift. I'm not even sure that I'm going to get a gift. But, I want someone to care that much."

"Get a girlfriend," I smile softly at him. 

"It's not that simple."

"I'm sure there's people that worry the same like that when it comes to you," I was actually a little worried myself while I bought his gift. I had Krist come with me and help pick it out. I ended up getting him a "Kill 'Em All" record. Krist suggested it, since I would have no idea if it was good or not. "Believe me."

He looks at me with no expression. "I'll believe it when I see it."

I slam the trunk and lock the door. I put the cart in the parking spot and grab Kurt's arm, dragging him back inside of the store. 

"What are you doing?" He asks me. 

I walk back to the candy aisle. "There's this guy named Kurt and him and I are becoming good friends. I don't know what to get him for Christmas. Do you think you could help me?"

He raises his eyebrow in confusion. He clearly knows what I'm doing, but he doesn't want to go along with it. "Come on, let's go back home."

"Does he like M&M's?" I hold up a bag of them. "Or Skittles? Or Twizzlers? See, me personally? I love Twizzlers. Red Vines are not good."

"Kurt probably wouldn't want candy. He would want more...meal food."

I gasp and immediately set the candy down. "He loves Kraft Mac N' Cheese!"

I run to the aisle it's in and grab two boxes. "Would Kurt like this kind?"

Kurt chuckles. "Yeah, he likes that kind."

"I'll have to remember for Christmas," I set them back on the shelf and try to tell if Kurt is feeling better. "What about some clothes? Maybe Kurt needs some clothes."

"He has enough."

"I'm going to go get him a Speedo."

"Absolutely not!" Kurt laughs, making me laugh. 

One of the things about Kurt is that he doesn't really laugh a lot. When he does, that's how you know it's genuine. Sometimes he laughs because he finds things funny, or he laughs because he's having fun and is enjoying the moment. 

"Thanks Kaitlyn," He says softly. 

"Kurt, I already bought you something, but I need you know that I was freaking out like that over your gift. I mean, what if you wouldn't like it? I think you'll like it."

"Tell me and I'll let you know if Kurt will like it."

"Hmm...I can't," I joke. "Because you're just going to tell Kurt. You're not good at keeping secrets."

"No, you've got me all wrong. I'm his twin Kurdt."

I chortle. "I only speak English."

He laughs. "Whatever, Kaitlyn. I'll find out sooner or later."

"What'd you get me?" I ask him, following him outside. 

"I can't tell you You suck at keeping secrets. I would hate for you to tell Kaitlyn."

"No, I would never do that because I hate Kaitlyn. She's such a bitch and she's so ugly. Like, oh my God."

"So is Kurt!" Kurt exclaims.

I've never really thought of Kurt as good-looking or ugly. I never really had the need to until this moment. He is definitely not ugly, but if he grew his hair out more, he would look even better than he does. 

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"You'll have to give me some suggestions of records to listen to," I sit down on my bed and Kurt follows me. 

"Yeah, I should. You have terrible taste in music." He shakes his head disapprovingly. 

"I don't even listen to music."

"You just proved my point."

"Katie, phone!" Krist shouts. 

I squeal and run to the kitchen. I take the phone from him and press it to my ear. 

"Hello?" I ask. 

"Hey, Katie!" Ethan exclaims. 

"Oh my God, how are you?"

"I just miss you terribly. We've started to film and it's going good so far. Before you ask, no, I have not kissed her."

I sigh in relief. "Thank fucking God. I would've had a heart attack if you did."

All of a sudden, a piece of paper is thrown at me and Krist chuckles. 

"It's for you," He explains. 

I bend over and pick it up off of the floor. "Ethan, did you send me a letter?"

"Why do you ask?" He asks. 

"Because it has your name at the top and it's addressed to me."

"Yes, I did."

I smile. "I sent you yours, too!"

"Don't read it yet, alright? Wait until we get off of the phone that way you'll have more time to think about me."

"I already think about you 24/7."

"I'm proud of you for doing this, Katie. I have to go now, though. Bye."

He abruptly hangs up and I lower the phone slowly. 

Ethan and I don't really get to talk to each other anymore. When we do, it's just short conversation and we don't really get to talk to each other. I wish that he was still with me. Things would be easier if he was still here. 

I walk back into the bedroom and set the letter down on the dresser. 

I'm saving it for a different time on a different day.