Water Heart | P.Sh

| 55 |

My eyes squinted about as I raised myself up on my elbow in my hammock. I rubbed my eyes quietly, noticing my clothes laying on the floor just under me, except for the chemise I was wearing. I must've gone to bed in a haze last night.

As I sat up in bed I seemed to gather my senses when I brushed my hair out of my face. Abruptly I snapped around and looked towards Sunghoon's hammock. Completely empty, not even a sign that he had slept in it. His blanket was even rolled up neatly, almost like the hammock was waiting for its next occupant.

In my abrupt turn something had softly slapped against the upper part of my sternum. I felt around eagerly before my fingers wrapped around a cold metal lump. When I looked down I immediately noticed the rusty locket, Sunghoon's locket. The one with my initials. 

Jay must've placed it around my neck, remembering how Sunghoon and I's agreement had been for the cost of his life and my locket. I looked towards the wooden ceiling as I pursed my lips. I wasn't gonna cry. I could've cried last night again if I wanted to cry, but not from today and onwards.

I quietly got down from my hammock and shimmered back into my skirt, tying it tightly. I hoped the pain of moving around too much with a too tight skirt would distract me for the biggest part of the day. Even though the strings were gnawing into my stomach, but the belt would make up for that. My boots had been placed right beside each other, just beside my skirt, despite the fact that I hadn't worn my boots yesterday.

"Oh, you're up," a voice spoke up and I looked over at Jungwon, who looked at me in shock as I quietly nodded and rolled my socks up to my knees, fastening them with a ribbon just under my knee, "we thought you would be sleeping for majority of the day."

"Are you supposed to walk around that much?" I questioned with a voice that was much more hoarse than I had supposed, "I thought Jiyeon put an activity limit on you," I remarked and he chuckled in amusement.

"She did, but she's a bit occupied right now... so I need to walk the restlessness out of my legs while I can," he excused and patted the sides of his thighs, "I can go make some breakfast for you... or well... by now it's probably more like lunch. You want some?"

"I don't know," I admitted and tied off the last ribbon under my knee, letting my skirt fall back down over my legs once again, "I can't really figure out if I'm hungry or just getting nauseous."

"Seasick again?" Jungwon questioned and raised both his eyebrows, "or excitement that you'll be back home in like a week?"

"I don't know," I shrugged and looked over at him with a shrug, "what do you think?"

"I think..." he trailed off as he wandered over to me and happily sat down beside me, "that you're extremely tired from last night, and that... you miss your baker boy, but you also don't want to leave this ship. So in reality the thing that is making you sick is the fact that you're in a dilemma."

"Can't I just lay down here all day?" I questioned and he chuckled at me before rubbing my back softly.

"You need some sunlight," he remarked and I raised my eyebrows at him, "even though I know you've gotten quite a lot lately. Besides, I know someone who would be disappointed if you stayed down here all day."

"Hmmm... probably," I hummed at him as he just smiled softly and his eyes darted to my necklace, carefully lifting it to look at it.

"This is yours?" he questioned and I nodded quietly, "Sunghoon said he would return it to the rightful owner before he died... I guess he was right then."

"I accidentally dropped it in the ocean a few years ago," I admitted quietly, "when I first sailed away from England."

"Do you miss it?" he questioned and I glanced at him, "England? Everything you left behind there?"

"More than anything," I nodded quietly, "about a year after we moved I recieved a letter that my brother had died of Cholera and I then made up my mind to never return to England. I saw no reason without him."

"Hmmm..." Jungwon hummed lowly, "so if the baker boy is gone when we reach your harbour...?"

"Then all I have is a hammock on this ship, I suppose," I admitted and Jungwon smiled softly at me.

"You'll always have a hammock here," he remarked and I smiled slightly.

"Even though I do prefer my mattress in the bakery," I admitted with a small laugh he joined in on.

"I could imagine that... but you know... if the hammock ever gives you a sore back just tell me and you can borrow my bed for some time. I don't mind sleeping out here," he excused and I slowly smirked at him, "what?"

"Are you sure you don't mind? It's not like you can sleep beside Jiyeon then," I reminded him and he chuckled.

"I've seen you and Sunghoon use the same technique Ji and I use, it'll be fine," Jungwon waved it off before slapping his thighs and stanidng up, "now... come on. We gotta put some food in you, at the least."

I looked at Jungwon's extended hand before sadly smiling at him and grabbing his hand, letting him pull me up on my feet for me. He chuckled at me before tugging me out into the food depot.

"Now... what do you want for breakfast?" Jungwon questioned and began looking through the shelves.

"I really don't want any," I shook my head at him, "you know with uhm... you know..."

"Yeah, Sunghoon sure gave us a scare yesterday," Jungwon chuckled as he grabbed the last banana fig and turned to me, "you liked these, didn't you?"

"I did but Jungwon-" I started and he just ignored me before he piped up again.

"Yeah, I heard you and Jay had a minor argument about it and all," Jungwon continued as I let out a sigh and ran my hand through my hair before he eventually turned to me, "he didn't even notice you went to be- now why are you crying?" Jungwon frowned as he looked back at me

"Sun-" I started as Jungwon carefully put the fig aside and carefully dried my cheeks.

"What about Sunghoon?" he carefully questioned, "what about it Soomin?"

"Can't I go lay down a bit again?" I whispered as I rubbed my cheeks harshly to get the tears away.

"No come on, you just need to get up on deck and you'll be fine. You get seasick a lot easier under deck than you do above deck," he urged and grabbed the fig once again, grabbing my arms to pull me with him.

"Not when I look like this," I whispered and Jungwon quickly began fanning my eyes for me, making me laugh at him, "it hurts Jungwon... it really hurts."

"Did you get injured?" he questioned and I shook my head, "oh wait..." he trailed off in shock as he stared at me, "you don't know yet?"

"Know what?" I murmured and sniffled as I wiped my cheeks once again.

"But he said you were awake when he moved you to the hammock, blabbering and all," Jungwon pointed out and I just frowned at him, "holy shit you don't know..." he took a step back, "well that explains so much of why you were so moody down in the sleeping chamber!"

"Jungwon what are you even saying?" I sighed and he happily grinned before just dragging me up on deck, "Jungwon-"

"Shut up and trust me," he urged and continued his march across deck.