Water Heart | P.Sh

| 50 |

For the entirety of the day I had only seen Jiyeon when she had gone up on deck to get meals for her and Jungwon. I hadn't dared to go check up on Jungwon, I wanted to let him and Jiyeon have some time together, talking out their small miscommunication and getting back to where they were before he fell down from the helm.

"Alright, we have some figs, mangos, a dish of beans and I think that it might be some crackers," Sunghoon frowned as he sat down beside me and handed me one of the food plates.

"Thank you," I happily smiled.

Quietly I ate from the plate, listening mostly to the waves and the crew members in the background. I didn't really know what to talk about with Sunghoon. I didn't know what I wanted to talk about.

"Jay says our next proper harbour would be yours," Sunghoon announced and I looked over at him, he just sat smiling sadly down at his food.

"Oh," that was all I could muster as a reply. I missed Sunoo, I really did, but I also loved being here now, "is that good or bad?"

"Depends on who you ask I suppose," Sunghoon murmured and quietly scratched a large grain of salt off of one of his crackers, "if you ask me... I won't care if I'm not alive by then. It'll be another month before we reach the harbour. But if I'm still alive by then... that means I've fallen in love with you," he quietly murmured as he turned his head to look at me, "and I don't think I can accept letting you go just three weeks after I've started to love you."

I watched him as he sucked in a deep breath and turned back to look at his food yet again, pursing his lips as his bangs covered his eyes too much.

"You ask the crew and the majority will be delighted, despite it getting halfed down when we encountered the Sirens. Jiyeon will be devastated, Jungwon too because he mirrors Jiyeon's emotions and vice versa. Jay will miss you too, probably, seemingly. You would be happy too, you'll see Sunoo again."

"That too," I hummed and he turned his head to look at me, "depends on whether or not you'll be dead by then," I admitted quietly, "if not then what do I do? I love Sunoo, but I love you in a different way... so, who do I choose?"

"You won't choose him?" Sunghoon frowned and I glanced over at him before shaking my head quietly, "so you'll choose me?" he questioned and I shook my head again, "then... what?"

"I don't know," I admitted with a small shrug as I placed my plate to the side, having decided I wasn't hungry anymore, "who do I choose if I love both in different ways? It's such a simple decision that it should seem easy, but in reality..."

"There's ups and downs with both," Sunghoon remarked and I nodded quietly before biting down on my thumb nail, "I get that."

"And then... what if I make the wrong decision when the time comes?" I whispered and he looked over at me, eventually smiling softly as he looked at me, "what?"

"Regardless of what you decide I won't be anything but happy," he assured as I just continued to stare at him, "I don't care what you choose as long as you choose the right thing for you."

I let out a small sigh before leaning my head back against the box behind me, trying to figure out what I would do when we finally got back home.

"I'll always beg Jay to come back and get some bread there anyways, so you'll see me more often," he chuckled and I smiled slightly, "but... we'll have some other stops before we get to your harbour, so let's just enjoy this week and wait to see what happens. If I die, I die. If I live, then I love."

"I hope you love," I murmured and he hummed quietly, "if not me than someone else who deserves it."

"It'll be you. I'm sure of it," Sunghoon confidently announced and leaned back against the box behind him properly, "I know it'll be you."

"Do you know how Jungwon is feeling today?" I questioned, desperately wanting to get away from the current topic, straightening my back enough for it to give a few cracks.

"Sitting up, joking and laughing," Sunghoon hummed with a small nod, "Jiyeon sat with him each time I went down with food. She looks sad but I'm sure it's just because she's worried. As far as it seemed to me, she's the main reason he's still in bed, I think he would be able to walk around easily."

"Hmm... she's just worried," I murmured and he looked over at me, quirking a brow as if asking me to elaborate, "I wouldn't want you wandering about as well if you had been the one to just drop down like that last night."

"Even if I was feeling alright today?" Sunghoon questioned and I chuckled quietly.

"I wouldn't care about if you felt alright today or not, you stay in that bed until I have decided you can get up and walk around," I excused with a small smile as he snorted and shook his head in disbelief. 

"I guess that's fair enough," Sunghoon eventually nodded.

"It is," I nodded and picked at my nails, "I heard Jay saying we would anchor at the next island we pass, we needed some more food, but I guess you already know that as the Boatswain."

"Yeah," he nodded quietly, "we expect to be there tomorrow at midday... but we'll still go back to your harbour, don't worry."

I nodded quietly before grabbing the blanket beside me, having rolled it up earlier. Wordlessly I extended it towards Sunghoon, who smiled sadly before grabbing the blanket and rolling it out, wrapping it tightly around his shoulders.

"I'm not cold though," Sunghoon excused and I shrugged at him.

"I'm just being careful," I excused and picked at my lips.

"Come on," he urged and extended his arm out towards me.

Once I didn't move he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me down to lean against his side, wrapping the blanket around me in the process. I smiled quietly as he let out a small sigh and pressed his face into my hair on top of my head.