Got Your Back, Always

III.XV

Crane sets down his "food", "So what's your plan here?"

Dick places some more wood into the fireplace. "I told you, wait for Red Hood and take him out."

"No, I mean, I mean, in Gotham. You stepping into Daddy's shoes. Now, don't get me wrong, I mean, you know, we all want to please our parents. That's why I became a doctor. You see how well that worked out, right?" Crane chuckles softly.

Dick removes his jacket, "You actually think we're the same?"

"No, no, no. What- what I'm saying is that we all get stuck on this hamster wheel of..." he sighs, "Trying to live up to the expectations of others. And we always think that it's gonna turn out different, but the outcome is somehow always the same."

"And is that what you told Jason?"

"No, I'm talking about you. You come back here and you wanna bathe Gotham in blood as if that's somehow a better outcome than anything that Batman ever did. Bruce was a psychopath. He was using fear to control everyone, including his sons. I mean, he did it to Jason, and he did it to you. And you and Jason, you both use that fear. You wield it like a weapon, but it hurts people, right? It hurts people that you care about. Like Hawk. Like Cassandra. It's still Bruce's game, isn't it? It always has been."

Dick stayed silent.

Crane sighed, "How is your other little circus friend? Word is she should be dead but isn't. She used fear in a much different way than Bruce ever taught you or Jason. But I suppose she was never truly one of his, was she? She wasn't a fighter, though she was a genesis, so I'm told. Must of been awfully lonely to be in a house with people like you and Bruce."

Dick smiled, "Actually she's a better fighter than either one of us. And stronger too, because she chooses not to. She also trained in this very cabin, different from me but still, she trained. She never gave in to the anger, never needed to utilize it."

"Are you sure about that? Maybe she wanted to. Women often hold in more anger and portray themselves as not, to please those around them. Maybe she held in that anger so you could have Bruce's attention and focus. Her selfless way to allow you time to heal, in Bruce's twisted way. She used the fear that Bruce instilled and morphed it into not a weapon but a tool. A tool she's used to manipulate those around her. I've watched her interviews, I've seen her speeches. Someone like her has so much anger that she masks it with a smile. I wonder how much fear and anger she can take before... well before she breaks. The Joker stole my fear toxin to make what he gave to her. Cassandra should be dead. Her fear should have killed her."

Dick took off his beanie, "She's not one to let her friends take care of her. If it was anyone else they would have a death wish doing what she did. Vigil is her moniker. Do you know what vigil means? It means "the act of keeping awake at times when sleep is customary". Or as she liked to joke, "the one who watches Death's back while they are sleeping". Do you know why she liked that definition? She liked that definition because it meant death needed her. That it wouldn't last without her, it would crumble and fall apart. And she was right, it did. Her fear is what keeps her alive. She knows her strength. She knows how powerful fear can be, and she uses it in the most graceful and elegant way that I will never achieve."

"Hmm, no wonder she took the toxin. Otherwise, it would have been you. Oh? Didn't know that the Joker's original plan was to capture Robin? But no Robin means her instead. So she embraces the fear, and let's it in. She doesn't fight it, she welcomes it. Interesting." Crane watched as Dick thought, "Is there something on your mind?"

Dick chuckles softly, "'Fear is your friend.'"

"What's that?"

"Bruce used to say it. He said, 'Fear reveals your weakness... and it gives you the chance to make it your strength.'"

"Hmm. And him being the man that he is, he... needed to make sure that you were afraid, didn't he?"

"I was out here all alone once. Bruce made me go out into the forest by myself for the first time. I had no idea what was out there."

"You were just a boy, and those were the lessons that he taught you. It's not your fault. But you need to make sure that this doesn't happen to someone else. That it stops with you. Now you let Gotham take care of Gotham. The water will find its level. Stop trying to prove something here."

"Motion detected," the computer announces. "Perimeter breached."

"But the thing about that is I've already proved myself. That night when I was a kid... without Bruce. I shouldn't have been afraid of the wolf. The wolf should have been afraid of me. Vigil learned the same lesson, in her own way. She was never scared of wolves like I was. Now let's get you all fixed up. Company's coming."