Stole My Heart ❤️ {a Jackson Avery Love Story} (continued)

Chapter 263:

Jackson was already at work, and I decided to take the day off to take care of Xander who got sick. I was holding Mark in my arms while making chicken soup for Xander when I hear the doorbell ring. I quickly run to the door and I see the mailman. Once I had my mail, I set it down then finish my soup.

Cathy: what's all that mommy?

I look over at Cathy who had come out of her room with George.

Delilah: I'm making soup for your brother since he got sick. Come on, you can play in the living room if you want.

Once my soup was done, I pour myself some coffee then go into the living room to go through my mail. I call Mer as I'm going through it.

Meredith- hey you!
Me- hey. You working?
Meredith- no, day off. What about you?
Me- I was gonna go to work, but Xander got sick so I took the day off.
Meredith- oh no, poor little guy. Is it the flu?
Me- I hope not.

I find a letter with my name on it and my eyes grow wide when I see that the name of the sender... was Alex. What is this?

Me- uh, Mer, did you... did you get a-a letter from Alex?
Meredith- I'm looking at it right now. You got one too?
Me- y-yeah. Call you back?
Meredith- yeah.

I hang up on Mer then I hesitantly open the letter.

Lilah,

The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but I'm not returning to Grey Sloan. I'm gone, and I'm not coming back. This is not the way I wanted to do this, but you know me. Any chance to take the easy way out. I owe you the truth, because you're my best friend and that's what you deserve. I don't know how to tell you this, and I don't know how else to tell you.

I know for a fact that if I showed up at your door, you would yell at me, scream in my face, give me guilt or whatever you do that seems to always set me straight. Both you and Mer were always the ones to set me straight, but it was always mainly you who I listened to the most. You weren't afraid to call me out when I was being an ass. When that didn't work, you and Mer would flop in my bed and say the one perfect thing that would make sense.

I think back to all the times I would jump into Alex's bed to vent.

I can't come back. I can't face you. If I had done this in person, you would be screaming in my face, calling me an ass along with every other horrible name in the book, you would probably be hitting me as hard as you possibly could, and then you would start sobbing your eyes out and you would beg until you could convince me to stay. And the thing is... I probably would cave because you and I both know that I can't say no to you. Look, I deserve to be hit and yelled at. I deserve the guilt and being called an ass and every other name in the book, but I don't want to be set straight. I don't want you to say the right thing. Because the one perfect thing isn't in Seattle... not anymore. I swear to you, this isn't about work or you or Mer or Jo. It's about me. I left... and I'm with Izzie.

My heart dropped when I saw the name of my former friend.

Delilah: oh my god...

This is probably the part where you're gonna get on your phone and call a million times and either leave hateful messages on my machine, leave messages of you sobbing into my machine, or a mix of both, until I call you back. But I can't Ellie. I can't lie to you. I could never lie to you, and I can't promise I'm gonna come home because it's not home anymore.

When Mer was in danger of losing her license, when I called everyone to write letters and show up on her behalf, I called Izzie too. I want to say I hoped she wouldn't answer, but the truth is... I hope she would. I want to say "I had to call her for Mer", but that would be a lie. The truth is, Mer's trial gave me an excuse good enough to call her. 'Cause I wanted to know where she landed. I wanted to know if she was alive and well. I wanted to hear her voice. When I was talking to her, I heard these voices in the background and a girl was singing this song about "greasy, grimy gopher guts" that I learned in first grade, and I started laughing and I asked if she had kids and... Izzie got quiet. For so long, she was quiet, and finally, she said, "yeah, I have kids. Twins". And it turns out... they're my kids Elle. Izzie's and my kids. She had our kids.