Lost In A Memory (A Taylor Lautner Story)

Crestfallen

**SIDE NOTE: This chapter and the chapters after will be more 'intelligent'. If that's the right word. Kaylen's veiws and ideas (and vocab) will make Taylor look like a dummy. so be aware, younger readers. :)

AND: This chapter is a filler. It is not to be fun, exciting, or enlightening. It may be boring. Just thought you should know.

Thank you guys so much for reading... to all my dedicated fans: THANKS! I LOVE YOU LIKE A FAT KID LOVES CAKE!~!!

Enjoy <3

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Chapter 16- Crestfallen

            Yes, for the life of me, I couldn't find myself to open that envelope. So I'd buried it. This would not be the end of the world. No matter how much my tears came; no matter how much I felt like dying; and no matter how much I was hurt, I was not going to let this rule my life.

            Who was I kidding?
            I was letting it rule my life simply by crying about it. It made me feel like such a baby. How could I- Kaylen Elizabeth Reamer- be so wound up in a jock (and I don't use that term lightly) that I let myself fall in love, be broken in two, and have him leave me on my birthday? Not to mention the fact that he was 'destined to be famous', as he liked to say. It was his 'dream', and I hated him for it.

            Taylor Daniel Lautner pisses me off to no end. He wreaked havoc on my stream of consciousness; he marked my life and shattered my dreams all in one day; He left me on my porch with some stupid letter that I don't plan to read; and I hate everything about him.

            Yet...

            How could I hate someone that kissed me in 'our place'; that lighted and illuminated my life, if only but for a short amount of time; that grew up with me? How could one girl not love the 'jock'? The one person, though so much cooler than her, that made her truly and undeniably happy? How could I say that I hated him? Maybe I needed to back up. Think about other things and different times. My life was if anything, predictable, and I could simply start from the beginning. Well, from what I call the beginning.  

            I was not the cool girl. I was Outcast from day one of middle school. Well, from day one of my life, for that matter. I was the girl who wanted to be. I wanted to be the one with the hot boyfriend. I wanted the life of guys, cheerleading (if only for the popularity), and cute clothes.

            Instead, I was blessed with a mother who couldn't afford such things as Ugg boots, Aeropostale clothes, American Eagle jeans. But that was my life, and I was fine with it, until I hit the teenage years. My mom couldn't afford dance lessons for me, not that I wanted to dance. She didn't have the resources for any sport for me to play, really.

            Any kind of cute clothes that I owned were hand-me-downs. They often didn't fit. I went to school with reduced or free lunch; I didn't have the cutest supplies when I was in Kindergarten; I just wasn't blessed in that way.

           

I am the kid who shoves herself into academics, who writes poems and stories, who dreams of going to college on a full academic scholarship. A typical nerd. I'm not cute; very bland, actually. I have brown hair, but doesn't ninety percent of the population have brown hair? Blue eyes...very original; and medium-dark skin. Average looking.