Dark and Wild *Taekook*

D&W 30: I'd Love to See You in Lace

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KIM TAEHYUNG

Jungkook was immensely attractive in his current state and the thought refused to leave my head. I'd seen a new side of him. A sexier, more confident, less afraid side and I couldn't wait to bring it out again. He was still in his oversized shirt and underwear that barely covered his ass, but he laid innocently in my arms. Despite having just done something very intimate with him, it felt a bit dirty to still be turned on, thinking about him in that manner.

I knew myself and if he had been anyone else, I'd have talked him into round two because he would have only been a means for pleasure, even with the little bit of his body he'd allowed me to partake in. But he wasn't just anyone else and I wanted to go at his pace. Obviously, I'd never know if I didn't ask, but I didn't even want to risk it. He knew I was a bit insatiable, but I wanted to show him I could control myself. He looked fucking gorgeous with his lips wrapped around me and that was okay because we were concenting adults in a relationship. Yet, I still couldn't convince my brain of the fact.

I felt as though I was stripping him of his virtue, wrapping my lascivious hands around him and peeling it away layer by layer, as if his consent meant nothing. Perhaps it was because I still didn't feel quite worthy enough to see him in such a state of gratification. It was why my body couldn't help but submit to him. Was I being dramatic? Insecure? Silly? Maybe a little. But to me, it felt valid. I just didn't want Jungkook to later realize that he wasted his first times on someone like me. With that, wanting to submit to his will was the only way I'd avoid feeling like I was taking advantage of him.

Jungkook's soft breath fanned against my neck as he napped on my chest, one bare leg draped over my own. He was so relaxed, so trusting, so peaceful, like a cat. I didn't dare move so as not to wake him. The scene was strange from an out of body perspective, almost paradoxical. I had someone in my arms and I was yearning for him at the same time, acknowledging my irresponsibility and the undeserved affection from him.

Considering Jungkook was my first boyfriend, the first man I'd ever let get close enough to me, I didn't really recognize my behavior. When I held him, ran my fingers through his hair, kissed his forehead and thought about him all day, yearning for him, even if he was inches away from me, it was strange. Whenever we were together these days, my thoughts ranged from just wanting to see him to wanting to rip his pants off and get between his legs. Before Jungkook, the extent of my thoughts for anyone else consisted of how long it would take for them to get the fuck out after we were done fucking. Nothing more.

Jimin had long since left the room, so it was just me and him. I was watching a baking show on TV and Jungkook was still sound asleep and had been for the last hour. I wouldn't have minded lying like that for the rest of the day, truthfully. Even just being in the same room as him, I was content. And the fact that he felt comfortable enough to sleep spoke volumes. Jimin told me this was called the honeymoon phase and he was right, as usual. I just hoped it would last as long as possible because I was afraid of what would happen if I no longer wanted to hold Jungkook or think about him all day or let him in.

Regrettably, I couldn't help but make fun of myself for these feelings I had. I was Kim Taehyung, campus fuckboy who never got attached, never let one person occupy his bed more than twice in one month and never committed to anyone. Who the fuck did Jeon Jungkook turn me into? How did I suddenly become content with not having sex with someone different every day and letting Jungkook sleep in my bed every night? How did I get attached to him and forget about every other person I'd ever slept with. It was no wonder my parents were confused as to why Jungkook's sassy, perfect-grades having, never-gets-in-trouble, every-parent's-dream virgin ass was dating me, of all people. I couldn't figure it out, but Jungkook told me once that his virginity had superpowers. Perhaps changing me was the strongest one. Whenever I asked him why he wanted to date me, he would simply say