The Unspoken Love (Austin Mahone Fanfic)

chapter 35

Kate's POV

"What are some of your questions?" Austin speaks gently while I hold my warm coffee mug in my hands. His back against the back of the seat and eyes glaring at me.

His left ankle on top of his right knee as his hands are folded on his lap. Hair up in a messy fashion and eyes gazing into mine, waiting. He looks sophisticated even.

"Why do you use girls?" I hold my cup up against my lips while speaking then sipping. Shying away from the question.

His eyes dark, unreadable and piercing sharp. He doesn't seem shocked by this question like he tolerated it. I gulp when he disconnects his ankle from his knee and lean towards the table, eyes still on mine.

He cocks his head to one side and licked his bottom lip then utter "Its a mechanism for me to cope with ..." He blink slowly as he place both his elbows on the table and run both hands over his face.

Probably to cope with Caras death. I thought while he lean back on the chair. Eyes wide and jaw clench. His finger brushing against his lips as if hes thinking. God i want to know what hes thinking.

I never meant to hurt you, Cara. Austins words haunts me from the day i left him at Roccos place. Austin calling me Cara was the reason why i left.

I sit here thinking about this whole thing. Austin not getting over his dead ex and uses girls to cope.

Why cant he get over it? What makes him think this is the right thing to do? I didn't ask for this. Why am i here? I need to get out. I need spac-

"Look .." His voice suddenly strong and serious. My body freezes while he leans forward with a solemn expression on his face. Eyebrows scrunch in and eyes wild.

"Just ask me anything ... Dont over think this" His eyes gentle and understanding. I look down at my almost cold coffee and whip the excess liquid on the tip of my mug with my thumb. So many questions on my mind.

"Why did you call me her name when i left?" I didn't look him in the eyes and if i did i would get mad all over again. Silence came from the other end of the table. Nothing.

"Did you think of her every time we hung out?" I ask sounding like a jealous girlfriend. Still nothing came from the other end of the table. No eye contact made.

"Did you think of Cara with every girl you used?" I question harshly then sigh deeply. I push my glasses towards my face so he wont see my eyes.

With my eyes not looking into his and head slightly down i ask "Do you imagine them as Cara?" Them being the other girls. The castoffs. The girls Austin used then threw them away like a piece of trash.

"Did you imagine me as Cara?" My words turn into a whisper as this question boggles my mind. My heart thumping 100 beats per second. Nothing but the silence in this early morning coffeehouse.

With the silence killing me inside, i slowly lift my head and look into his illegible eyes. Fear took over me wondering what hes going to say. Wondering what hes pondering.

The back of the chair supports his muscular and well exercised back, right elbow prop up and finger caressing his chin oh so slowly, eyes hard to read while a smirk unhurriedly appeared across his face. Thinking of something sensible to say.

Suddenly he folded and laid both his hands on his lap. Head slightly lifted up so i can see his defined Adam's apple and then he speaks.

"All you need to know is ... after her death i couldn't live with myself ..." He hesitates while playing with his silver bracelet on his right wrist.

"and Yes ..." He mumbles and my eyebrows creased. A clueless look appear in my eyes.

"I thought of her every time we hung out ..." His eyes locks into mine; never leaving them.

"I thought of her with every girl i "used" ... " He air quoted, mocking the way i said it earlier. I gulp feeling that same feeling a few days ago. Hurt and rejected.

"and yes i imagined them ... including you as her ..." Austin emphasize including you, making me feel disappointed and lost. I stay quiet while i take it all in.

"You still didn't answer my first question .." I say feeling vulnerable. All the confidence inside me has been stripped out and been buried with my feelings towards him.

"and what was that?" He shifts his head to one side and looks deeply into my eyes. I repeat the question again.

Austins last words and my question remain in my head. "I never meant to hurt you, Cara" ... and "Why did you call me her name when i left?"

"To be truthful .." He look up at the ceiling and paused. Waiting for an answer to come to him. A few seconds later his head came down and eyes slowly made their way to mine. Hazel to Brown.

"I never meant to hurt both of you ..." His eyes drift away from my face. "When you left ... i felt the same feeling when i went to Caras funeral. Lost ... heartbroken even .." He chuckles as hope sparks inside of me. A light smile instantly appear on his face. A smile i love.

"i didn't know what i had until it was gone .. until you were gone." His hazel orbs met with mine. Its filled with compassion and ... love.

Silence grew after. His eyes fixates on the table and lips part as if hes thinking really hard about something. His eyes blinking 100 times a minute like he finally realize something.

"You make me feel calm and warm inside ... happy even" Austins eyes wide and filled with realization. "and when you left me or went missing, i couldn't bare to lose you ..." A smile creeps on his face, eyes going everywhere but not to me.

"I think everything you do is .." He pauses suddenly trying to look for the right word. "perfect." Austin whispers and smiles dumbly to himself.

The butterflies in my stomach begins to flutter as my cheek heat up thinking about everything i do is "perfect"(which is a lie). What is happening?

"How come i didn't see this before?" He whisper but i heard him. His eyes wild and his awareness of something grew. Didn't see what?

He ran his fingers through his hair and covers his mouth. Why cant i touch his freaking hair like that ?? I thought and sigh wishing i can do that. I see his large grin that is covered by his hand. That smile i love to see.

"what are you saying?" I ask dumbfounded. His lips part then curl at the ends into a large grin. His eyes finally made their way to mine as his grin scared me.

"I realize now ..." He look down again. But i don't want him to look down, i want him to look at me with his gorgeous eyes. "Realize what?" I ask while leaning forward trying to look into his mesmerizing orbs.

Bright eyes and a smile planted on his face. It seems like forever since the last time i saw him smile like this. His eyes slowly met with mine while licking his lips.

"I think ..." he watches me while shaking his head at a slow pace. Lips parted and eyes gleaming with realization. "i think i love you .."

My eyes widen. Speechless.

he loves her :) i want austin to love me .. like seriously i want his :( i want to go to a coffeehouse with him .. ughhhh i want to know him .. aahhhhhh life sucks now.

Butttt i dedicate this chapter to @bellarina670 bc youre just awesome and thanks for voting for my chapters and commenting as well

30 votes and ill make chapter 36 .. ill dedicate next chapter to someone too but you HAVE to vote for this chapter and comment if you want to be dedicated :)

but the picture i tagged tho :') literally crying inside

VOTE LOVELIES

❤ -A