The Way You Make Me Feel - A Michael Jackson Love Story

Chapter 151 - One More Forever

3rd Person POV

Tatiana's eyes fill with tears as she stuffs her luggage with clothes. The pain in her heart has spread through her whole body and was aching her soul to the point she everything around her was completely dull and clouded.

She felt as if she was going crazy--insane even.

She felt so emotional, yet numb at the same time. Even though she had experienced heartbreak with Michael before--it's a pain she can never get use to.

Heartbreak.....

It's like something is tearing you apart piece by piece, it was a feeling that even though your heart is empty, it's still full of something beyond explanation.

It's that weird pain that gets inside of you, eats you out and leaves you crying alone in darkness. It's something that like a glass splinter that gets inside you, rips you apart. It makes you so so weak, so timid, and so tired that you are just unable to answer yourself.

No Matter how hard you try, how tough you are... it will beat the shit out of you and make you beg on your knees. Everything you ever loved becomes your reason for pain.

Everything that used to make you happy, tears you apart.

Everything that you had faith in loses its value.

Even though you might feel like you are moving on but that feeling is temporary and then you are hit hard directly on your face and break down again, every time this happens your heart breaks into pieces.

A day comes you become cold, you feel nothing--

Not the rain.

Not the rain.

Not the sunshine.

Not joy, nor fun-- just numb in hope of trying to understand what you have become.

Each passing day you hope everything will get right one day but you end up opening another layer of disappointment and then the day comes when everything become still, lifeless and cold.

You grow tired and then you fall asleep with all the pain buried in your heart so deep and that pain reached your soul it feels as if it is smothering it, killing it slowly...... and even that soul want to free itself from body that felt that pain rushing out of it without telling anyone why it left that person who used to be so tame...

And the worst feeling of all is when you want to run to the person who broke it--to love you in the way they once did.

Tears roll down her eyes as she closes her eyes. She walks over and picks up her journal and begins to write;

"Do you think I can have one more kiss? I'll find closure on your lips, and then I'll go. Maybe also one more breakfast, one more lunch, and one more dinner. I'll be full and happy and we can part. But in between meals, maybe we can lie in bed one more time. One more prolonged moment where time suspends indefinitely as I rest my head on your chest. My hope is if we add up the "one mores" they will equal a lifetime and I'll never have to get to the part where I let you go. But that's not real is it? There are no more one mores. I met you when everything was new and exciting, and the possibilities of the world seem endless. And they still are... for you, for me, but not for us. Somewhere between then and now, here and there, I guess we didn't just grow apart, we grew up. When something breaks, if the pieces are large enough, you can fix it. Unfortunately sometimes things don't break, they shatter. But when you let the light in, shattered glass will glitter. And in those moments when the pieces of what we were catch the sun, I'll remember just how beautiful it was. Just how beautiful it'll always be. Because it was US. And we were magic. Forever. Maybe the real question is--can I have just one more forever?"