The Way You Make Me Feel - A Michael Jackson Love Story

Chapter 46 - Did he even care?

Paul's POV

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asks weakly. I look  down at the patterns on the covers.

"I didn't want you to look at me...like him. I wanted to prove to you...that I wasn't like him." I say softly. She is quiet for a moment...for a long moment and looks at me.

"Paul, I wouldn't think that. I wish you would have told me earlier.." she whispers.

"If you don't want to be friends anymore, I understand.." I say. Truthfully I wouldn't, because I couldn't bear to think of losing Tatiana.

"No, I want you in my life Paul...always." she says giving a sad smile. She takes my hand in hers and I watch her drift off to sleep...but before she does, she looks at me.

"Did Michael call?" she asks. I shake my head no. She looks away.

"Do you think...he'll ever talk to me?" she asks. I give her hand a gentle squeeze.

"I don't know, Tatiana..I don't know." I whisper as she drifts off to sleep.

Sheryl's POV

I go to rehearsal's feeling exhausted, and in a pissed off mood. I am so not ready to do rehearsal. I pick up my guitar and look around. The atmosphere of the room is different. It was usually crazy, full of noise..but now it's like a funeral. Which is appropriate, since we are grieving the loss of Tati, and  Rachel being here. Greg and Ricky look at me and we glance where Tatiana use to perform....I feel a lump form in my throat and quickly turn away. 

As we wait in silence, Michael and Rachel are walking onstage.......holding hands?!?!

"Hey guys...I'm sorry I'm late." Michael says with a huge smile. No one says anything, mainly because we are battling shock, and anger.

"What. The. Fuck." I say slowly pointing at Rachel. "What the hell is this?!?!" I say having my hands flying back and forth between them. Michael seems to try not to notice my anger and smiles. 

"Rachel, was sweet enough to accept my invitation to be my date to the Grammy's." he says with a smile. I can tell he doesn't want to go with her, he wants Tatiana.....he doesn't even look the same with Rachel as he was with Tatiana.

"Have you lost your mind?!?!" I hiss. Rachel gives me smile....the kind of smile you want to smack off.

"Wasn't that sweet you guys?" she asks. Greg opens his mouth and closes it, rubbing the back of his head shaking it slowly.

"Don't you think this is kind of...sudden?" Greg asks slowly.

"Why would it be?" Michael asks confused. He is seriously going to act like Tatiana never existed?! I see Frank offstage shaking his head.

"You know something? Karma is going to bite you so hard in the ass...." I snap. Michael looks at me and opens his mouth, but I start blasting my guitar, playing Dirty Diana, blocking out anything he is saying. He sighs and looks at Rachel with a small smile as she takes her place onstage. Or should I say Tatiana's place.

The rest of the rehearsal goes by in silence, with Rachel and Michael flirting and all of us trying to understand...if Michael even cared about Tatiana.

Tatiana's POV

I get up and see Paul is asleep in a chair next to my bed. I slowly get up, careful not to wake him. I quickly grab some clothes. A striped long-sleeved shirt, a leather jacket, and brown skirt paired with black heels. I put my curly brown hair up in a high ponytail, and grab my purse; slipping out the door. I need to go to the studio....I just need to work and get distracted.

I get in the car and drive. Its been awhile since I've driven and I start to smell Michael's cologne. I forgot he would like to drive my car when we were together. I feel tears starting to form in my eyes, and I keep driving. I can't believe....I was pregnant. I was actually going to have a baby. Michael and I were going to be parents....I bust out crying and pull over on the side of the road.

My own baby left me like Michael. My child didn't even want me.....I let out a scream as tears pour down my face. I didn't even get to see my own child, and I feel so attached to it. Was it for the best I didn't have it? I lean my head against the steering wheel and sob. I could literately hear my heart breaking. The love of my life....I look up and brush the tears away.  Come on, Tatiana. A voice saysinside of me. I start to drive again and I go in the studio. I walk in, and pass by Quincy's office. I barely get far when I hear him call my name. I close my eyes and turn around, and walk in his office with a fake smile. There standing is Diana Ross, and Quincy.

"Hey, Tati...." Quincy says giving me a hug. I smile and give him a hug, and Diana a hug.

"How are you baby?" Diana asks rubbing my arm.

"I'm good, how are you?" I ask with my extremely fake smile. They look at me concerned, and worried.

"Tatiana....are you sure your okay, babygirl? I heard about Michael.." Quincy says. I wave him off sarcastically.

"Oh yeah, its fine. I couldn't be better." I say smiling at them. I really wanted to say I am not fine. I lost my child, and Michael. Jack tried to rape me, do I seem fine?! Diana and Quincy look at eachother then at me, unconvinced.

"Really, I am! I just wanted to work in the studio.." I say with a smile.

"Oh alright..." Quincy says.

"If you need anything just ask alright?" he says. I smile and nod before leaving.

Diana's POV

"You and I both know she isnt alright...." I tell Quincy.

"No, she was trying to keep it togother though. Poor girl." he says shaking his head. I start thinking about Michael. I don't understand why he would do such a thing....

"I'm going to go and check on her.." I tell him getting up. He nods, and I go down the hall. I stop outside the studio, and slowly walk in. Tatiana is in the sound booth. Her back is turned away, and she is singing..

"I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of
And I wish you joy and happiness
But above all this I wish you lo...."

Her voice cracks at the last word. She puts her head down, and cries. I walk in the sound booth, and she looks up, wiping tears away.

"Tatiana?" I say.

"Oh hey." she says with a small smile. I hold her in my arms, as she cries softly.

"I'm sorry..." she whispers. "I just..."

"You just what sweetheart?" I ask softly.

"I just wonder if it was even real..." she says.

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Writing this just makes me so sad....

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xoxoxo,

moonwalkergal