The Phoenix led me to a place I had never seen before. I could see mountains all around me but I was lying on rocky ground. When I looked around me, Fawkes wasn't there; he was flying above me. In seconds, he was out of sight. I looked around. A few meters away there was a tent. The materiel had the same color as the tent Hermione had packed. I had found them. Hermione jumped outside her wand in hand. She must have heard me Apparating.
"Harry! Come quickly! Harry!" she shouted as she was running towards me. She kneed and helped me get up.
"Hermione, are you all right?" he said as he came outside but when he saw me, he froze. "ANNE?" he shouted. He needed only a few moments to come up to me with such speed that I almost fell down again. He had trapped me between two strong arms and he had done that so quickly that I didn't even have the time to spread my arms as well. I was struggling to even move as he raised me up for another squeeze.
I let myself go in the moments of bliss that luck had allowed me. For the longest time, I thought we would never meet again, that one of us would... maybe wouldn't survive. In this life, I had learned more than anything that you have to hold on to these moments as tightly as you can. You never knew if they would only be memories one day, sure that they would never repeat themselves for you. I had learned this far too quickly and for too harshly when I'd lost Draco. So I reminded myself to get emotional and sob.
"We thought you were dead! We heard you on the radio. We thought the Death Eaters killed you! What the hell were you thinking? Didn't I tell you to stay out of trouble? What were you thinking Anne? Don't ever do that again, okay? Don't you ever scare me like this again!" he said, half-mad, half-shocked, half-excited and with all of his feelings turning into a glimmer on his eyes.
"I'm sorry! It was the least I could do to help," I said looking into his eyes.
"Putting your life in danger doesn't help! Promise you will not leave my side again, Anne."
"Wait, are you mad because I spoke on the radio or because I left you and returned to Hogwarts?" I asked.
"I'm mad because everything you do is reckless! Whoever didn't put you in Gryffindor is insane. There is not one thing you've done that didn't put you in danger!" he shouted.
"Look who's talking!" I said and laughed.
He looked at my smile unsatisfied, with his eyes shining with happiness. Then he put his hands around my neck and kissed me. A tear trickled down his cheek and then touched mine as Harry was leaning forward. Feeling collided, thoughts disappeared. I kissed back and didn't care much what it meant.
"Hm... Can we please get her inside? We'll have time to talk about it later..." said Hermione, probably feeling awkward watching Harry kissing me.
They led me inside the tent where it was a lot warmer. They sat me down on a bed and started telling me all about what had happened since I left them, about them about finding the Horcrux at the Ministry of Magic, about trying to destroy it without any success and being at a loss as to what came next.
But I looked around me and realised that something was missing.
"By the way, where is Ron?"
They both lowered their heads. I noticed Hermione's eyes getting red and shiny. She was ready to cry. Then she jumped up and walked outside the tent without a word.
"Did I say anything?" I asked. Harry looked sad to which made me feel scared about Ron's fate. "Wait. Harry, is Ron..." I asked.
"Ron is not dead, Anne. He's gone," he confessed.
"Gone? Gone where?" I asked.
"He left us. I don't know what happened to him... We had a fight and afterwards he decided to leave us. He Disapparated and we don't know where he is. That happened three days ago," he said. I must admit I didn't expect something like that from Ron. Leaving his best friends, leaving Hermione... It was just too much even for him. They were together since day one.
"I'm sorry... I should have brought it up..." I said.
"Don't be silly, you didn't know. Just, please, don't ever mention anything about it in front of Hermione. She has been crying for days," he said. There was a moment of silence. We sat quietly on the bed and listened outside the tent. We could hear Hermione crying out there. "How were things in Hogwarts?" he asked.
"Not that good. You know they've taken over it. It's like being in the fifth year but much – much – worse. They've been torturing for detention, the meals are short, we were followed everywhere... I mean, it was like a military school. I didn't expect it to be that bad," I answered remembering all these long hours of torturing.
"You shouldn't have gone back," he said.
"I would have done it anyway. They needed someone to inform the Order. I would go back even if I knew it was so bad. You would do the same in my place," I said.
"Well, I'm actually surprised that they didn't arrest you and take you to You Know Who right away. From the first second. Why would they let you be there when they could arrest you any moment?" he asked with a doubtful look like there was something weird going on.
"In every vision I was trying to see, he was giving orders to the staff to torture me as much as they could until I ask for mercy."
"You knew they would come for you at some point; why risk staying that long?"
"I was seeing visions, Harry. I was trying to see You Know Who's decisions to make sure I'd be safe. The thing is..." I said.
"What?"
"I didn't leave because I saw a vision about You Know Who's decisions. For the past week, I had been seeing visions that he wanted me to stay in Hogwarts for as much as it took for me to break down. If it wasn't for Severus warning me, they would have got me. That's why I left. Practically by accident. I don't know why I can see a proper vision. I've been thinking that maybe You Know Who was getting inside my mind and made me see what he wanted," I admitted.
"If this is true then you're not safe. He could be using you at any time."
"You know, sometimes I doubt this happened. I just think that, given the fact I was tortured every day, my skills were getting weaker. It happens when I'm tired. I just stop seeing sights," I said but didn't really believe that.
"You should stop trying to see visions, just in case," he said. "So what did you do after leaving?" he asked.
I told him everything. About wandering in the forest without knowing where to find him, about starving, about finding the inn woman and then about the independent radio station.
"You know, we were listening to your speech," said Harry. "When we heard these sounds in the background, we knew something was happening. And then you shouting like you were taken away," he said.
"I was taken away. They killed the people who were running the radio station. They are the reason I'm here, alive. These people died to protect me. When I think about how many people sacrifice themselves for us, I feel ashamed. I don't want anyone else to die for this," I said.
"Neither of us does." By the time he said that, he had passed his arm around me in a warm embrace. "I missed you. I thought I would never see you again..." he said after a minute. Did this only feel okay because I hadn't had any human connection in months? Did I enjoy how it reminded me how Draco used to hold me?
I reminded myself that the last thing would never happen again.
All this time I had been away, it had been very hard not to think about him. In Hogwarts, it was harder, of course, since every class, every hall held memories of him. I knew I needed a fresh start, I needed to forget about him but how could I do that when I still loved him?
Harry noticed that I wasn't feeling that well. I think he understood why. You could never really hide from him. With a touch, he read my feelings as easily as reading a book.
"Has it been..." he said but hesitated. "...better?" he finally asked me. We both knew what he was talking about. I didn't feel that well talking about Draco but it would happen anyway eventually. There was no point hiding my feelings just because I was scared to hurt him. The days of me pampering him and trying to let him down easily had passed.
"No..." I admitted looking down.
"It's been three months... You have to understand... He's not coming back..." he said with a bit of envy in his voice.
"No, he's not going to come back, Harry. But you don't need to remind me," I said with no mean tone, only with pain. He waited until I said something more. But there was nothing I could say for now. I only felt a lump rising on my throat and not letting me speak.
"Listen," he said, not enduring my silence any more. "I know it's been hard for you, I don't blame you or expect you to forget everything in a moment. I'm just saying that I could help you," he said.
"What are you trying to say?" I asked.
"Why don't we try again? It's been four months. You need to act, you need to take your life into your own hands. I never stopped thinking about you, Anne..." he said shaking his head. "I missed you. I don't want to waste a moment. We could be dead tomorrow. I don't want to have any regrets and I don't want you to have any either. Don't stay in the past. You should try to move on; forget before it's too late."
"I don't know if I want to forget him."
"Don't you want to be happy? I can make you happy again."
"Even if I said yes, even if we were together, you would know I'm still thinking about him. How could you even stand knowing that I'm not fully yours?" I asked.
"I could stand anything – everything – to be with you."
* * *
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