"What do you mean he's dead?" I asked with my voice sounding weak while trying to hold back my tears, which at the moment I was struggling to believe were unnecessary.
I knew Harry had just told me the truth. But every single cell of mine wanted to believe that he was just joking. That he had made a mistake. There was no way Voldemort had done as he had warned and killed him when he found that Draco didn't kill Dumbledore, I said to myself. He didn't kill him. No, I wouldn't believe that for a moment. Yes, this was just a bad dream and I would wake up sooner or later. Yes, this whole story was just some sick joke that someone thought would be fun for me to hear. I refused to believe any of the things that the Prophet said. The papers were spreading all sorts of fake news nowadays.
Harry was ready to say something, but when he raised his head and saw me looking up at him with begging eyes, he knew that his answer would make me cry and get the attention upon us.
"Come with me," he said and pulled me from the hand. I didn't stop him. I didn't say anything. We were out of the tent only with a few steps.
"Harry, please, tell me that it's not the truth. Please tell me that there is no reason for me to be worried and that everything is okay and that the Prophet is just wrong. Please, do this for me. Say it," I begged quickly. I could feel my eyes getting wetter every moment and I knew I was ready to cry but I had promised myself that I couldn't cry for a lie. That I would hold my tears back.
"You would be hearing a lie," answered Harry simple.
"You are just lying. I don't know why, I don't know what I've done to you, but I know you're lying," I said. I was waiting for Harry to speak again, say something, something different than before but he didn't. He just didn't. And that was when I started understanding that I shouldn't have any hope of getting a different answer. So I let go of this silly promise I had made with myself and I started crying so hard and so loudly that I was sure they could hear me from the wedding.
"Harry, please, tell me that you just made that all up so you could find a way for me to forget about Draco. Tell me that you're lying and I swear I'll forgive you. And then make and excuse and apologize so we can go back to the wedding like nothing happened. And then-" I said crying, knowing that I was hopeless but still not caring, but Harry came up to me. And as soon as he touched me, I started hitting his chest for no reason at all. And, of course, I didn't have any strength at all so he seemed very calm and let me hit him. "Please, please, tell me you're lying! Please!" I begged still hitting him.
"Anne, listen to me," he said at some point, grasping my hands from my wrists. He looked deep into my blue eyes and spoke steadily. "Draco is dead. He was murdered. Your father killed him. He's dead. He's gone. I'm not a liar. Mr Weasley just told me," said Harry. I stared him for what seemed ages but I knew that only seconds passed before I started crying my eyes off again. Weeping and screaming.
"What happened?" I asked him, but my words could barely be described as words.
"The Malfoys reported an accident. That's why the Prophet never posted anything. But everyone in the Ministry knows that it was a murder. Voldemort killed him three weeks ago. He spared Lucius and Narcissa's life."
I knew it all along but if there was a moment I should break it was this one.
"It's my fault..." I muttered.
"How would it ever be your fault?" Harry had a tired look.
"My fault... He would have killed him," I whispered, senselessly.
"Anne..."
"It's my fault," I repeated and the tears were streaming hot down my face. "He would have killed him."
"Anne, it's not your fault at all. Do you think that Voldemort ever cared for the boy? Did you ever think that he was stupid enough to let this mission on to a boy's hands? The only thing he wanted was to get it back to his father for failing to get the prophecy that night at the Ministry. He just wanted to humiliate him and he did. Voldemort knew that Draco wouldn't kill Dumbledore. I might be all judgmental with this issue, and you must admit it's not my fault, but again, I don't think Draco would murder someone in his life. Draco was not a murderer."
"He would do it. If not for me. It's my fault," I said, still crying like never again in my whole life.
Screams and cries of help, breathless gasps and drowned gags. I collapsed on the ground.
"My Draco..."
I remember my voice, only my voice, because years later I wouldn't bare to think of the emotion.
"My... My Draco..."
I closed my eyes. I was dizzy. The pain spread from my lungs to my feet. I could hear the heartbeat slowing down as I began my descent. I knelt down. My palms were pressed on my temples.
I screamed. It held a release. I screamed. The pain became mine.
"Everyone is asking where you've been. What happened? Why did you leave? And why is Anne crying?" We heard Hermione coming up to us with a worried voice. I didn't even move and I hid my eyes in Harry's eyes.
"Draco was murdered," whispered Harry.
"What? How?" she asked.
"Voldemort killed him. It must be becau-"
"What is that?" interrupted Hermione.
It was not Hermione that stopped every motion and sound and made us all, even me, look up in the dark sky. A Petronus was flying above us, making the night seem like day. I supposed that the fact that it was only a Patronus wouldn't make things worse. However, Harry pulled me together when jumped back inside the tent. We were there when the Patronus fell above the dance floor and hovered in midair for a second. Then a voice came from its inside.
"The Ministry has fallen. The Minister is dead. They are coming. They are coming." When the voice disappeared, the Petronus started losing its light, and finally disappeared too.
I was too panicked to remember everything that happened from then on that clearly. The only thing I know was that I had to stop thinking about Draco and protect myself someway. Harry was next to me all the time. He was holding my hand as most of the people at the wedding were either dissapparating or screaming with fear. But the most important thing was that I knew that the protective charm, with which the Ministry was protecting all the houses in which lived the family of people who work in the Ministry, just as Mr Wealsey, had disappeared, something that made the Burrow available for every Death Eater to come in.
Harry was scanning all the people to find Ron, who was now running up to us. Hermione held my hand and as soon as we saw Ron reaching us, we dissapparated. I felt my head spinning as usually before I felt my feet landing. I knew where we were as soon as I saw it. And it was really the last thing I thought of being now. We were at Shaftesbury Avenue. I wondered why Hermione decided to get us here. We started walking immediately, and Harry put his hands around me protectively, knowing that I was still in shock. We noticed some looks from people passing by since we were all dressed in old looking dresses and dress robes.
I was somehow emotionless, somehow numb and crazy. I wondered if my eyes were red. I looked around. Maybe if I looked hard enough, I would see Draco somewhere.
Sometimes you just need a miracle. Sometimes you just need to believe in lies.
"Where are we?" asked Ron.
"Shaftesbury Avenue. I used to come to the theater here with Mom and Dad," said Hermione but she shook her head at once. "I don't know why I thought of it... It just popped into my head," she muttered.
It was the middle of the night, but we were in the center of the city and it was hard finding a quiet place. It was 1 o'clock but there were many people still outside, mostly young men and women who were out clubbing. We had to walk a long way to reach a dark and completely empty street. It was exactly what we needed to change.
While Hermione was taking the clothes out, Harry saw me walking a few steps away, dizzy and then falling on the earth.
I knelt down again. Maybe if I was closer to the ground, I would find some balance. I needed to rest. Even kneeling down was reliefing. I didn't want to move again.
"Anne. Anne! You have to stay strong," said Harry, kneeling next to me. "You can't let this get you down. You have to stand."
* * *
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