I reached for his hand and turned it around to examine again this tattoo. I had hoped that it was only a dream and that I would wake up beside him and he wouldn't have it. That his forearm would be clear and flawless and pale as always. I thought that I would wake and it would be as complicated as it was yesterday. But no. This scar was still there.
"So, I guess you forgive me?" I asked.
"I do. But I'm still going to break Potter's nose some day. Today for example..." he said.
I frowned because I didn't want to encourage him but then rested my head on his chest and smiled when I saw his bright eyes.
"So, I guess you forgive me?" asked Draco. I looked at him, stroking his naked chest as he held me in his arms.
"For what?"
"For doing what I've done. For hitting Potter. For destroying your life. For becoming a Death Eater. For being such and asshole."
"I forgive you," I said. "But I don't forgive you for one thing," I added. "I forgive you for hitting Harry, for destroying my life, for being an asshole... But this?" I said and looked at his forearm. "This? You are asking me to forgive you for this? It will take a bit longer to forgive you."
"I hope you understand why I did it. It was for the best."
"Choosing to become a Death Eater could never be for the best."
"It wasn't that much of a choice. I had to do this. My family was and still is in a very difficult situation. That might actually give us some time before the end."
"The end?" I said but it took him a bit longer to answer back.
"He is about to kill us all, Anne. My father, my mother, me. But what's worse, he would hurt you. It's better sacrificing myself than anyone else. I'm going to tell you something and I wish you remember it at all times. In this life, nothing good you do will be acknowledged. The only thing that the others are going to be in you will be the bad things you'll do. Every good thing you do is just nothing. But every bad thing can wipe away every good thing you've done. But believe me, some things are not done to be acknowledged."
"Why are you saying all these things?" I said and my eyes got darker. He looked away. "Draco?" my voice was full of suspicion. He still didn't look at me.
After a few moments that seemed like hour to me, he looked at me and smiled. He let me go away from his hug and then he came above me and kissed me.
"You said we will make it work, right baby? We always have. I mean, look at us. Nothing is okay, we make it okay. Now, why can't we just stop talking about this stuff. I just got you back. I don't want any second to be wasted."
He kissed me again, like nothing had happened. And the truth is that we didn't care about anything right in this moment. I forgot every suspicion or every thought about Voldemort. We were back together after all this time. We got ourselves back.
He swiftly leaned above me, trapping me between two strong arms and quickly got to work. He tirelessly played with me like I was a mere toy between his fingers. Draco was the man that never got tired of you, never gave you bad moments. Even his sweat was sweet and made the sheets smell of wood, smell of Draco.
"Annie," he would moan with with a deep breath. "Annie..."
I always thought this to be something that would somehow never come. Maybe it was because we knew each other since we were children. Yet now, everything seemed natural. Things that I considered myself too innocent for were now jumping out of me involuntarily. I felt myself maturing with every thrust and so I spread my legs wider to make his way inside of me easier and quivered.
"Draco..." I whispered. "Deeper..."
Draco, who had until then been hesitant to make sure nothing hurt or pained me, let himself go all the way inside of me, revealing more inches than before.
"Fuck..." he was muttering almost loudly.
When I remembered that no one could hear us in this room, I let myself go as well.
* * *
It was Monday morning and no one could have ever guessed why the corners of my lips were stuck into a silly smile in this cold, moody morning. I was walking down the corridor, heading for my Charms class, thinking of last night and the last thing I wanted was someone to interrupt me from these when I saw professor Slughorn coming up to me with a wide smile. Oh, not again!
"Oh, miss Riddle! There you are! I've been searching for you for hours!" he said shouting loud enough for all the students passing by to hear and they would probably think that I'm the teacher's pet or something. "I wish you are okay now." What? What did he just say?
"Hm, excuse me?" I said trying not to sound to rude of not having the slightest idea of what he was talking about.
"Harry told me that you couldn't come to my Slug party at Friday because you were sick. I hope you're fine."
"Oh, right!" I said at once. No, I wasn't sick, I just didn't want to go to any party when I could spend a steamy night in the Room of Requirements with Draco. It seemed selfish one day later but at the moment, I couldn't quite control myself. "Yeah, yeah, I'm much better. Thank you for asking."
"Oh, that's brilliant! Very good news!" he said and I felt some kind of relief that he believed it and that I had once again escaped from something that I didn't want to do. "Now, I hope you come to my Christmas party, then." And that exploded like a bomb into my head after the relieving thought that I had just escaped.
This was really getting very tiring. Slughorn was really interested in me and I didn't know if this was because I was very good at Potions or because of something else. The thing was, the last thing I wanted was go to another boring party. But I had to give an answer and I couldn't just say not show up for the second time. I didn't want him to think that I was avoiding him or something (not that I wasn't). I breathed out and answered.
"Yes, of course I'd like to come," I said but I was sure that I was not that able to hide my unwillingness.
"Oh, that's great! The party will take place in my office the night before we leave for Christmas. At 8 o'clock."
"Sure, I'll be there. I'd be delighted," I said and smiled as much as I could.
"Brilliant! See you there then, miss Riddle," he said and turned to go when he stopped and spoke again. "Oh, and you could bring a date if you'd like," he said and then he finally left.
I regretted not being quick enough to make up an excuse and now the only thing I wanted was to disappear, especially in the thought that the party was only 5 days from now.
I instantly started making plans for the night. Maybe I could take Draco with me, but then again, our relationship was still a secret - or better say, we hadn't had the chance to talk much in order to confront the problems that were arising now that we were back together.
"Will you go with me?" asked Harry at lunch time, right after he heard that I was going to the party. I could hear the smile in his voice without even caring to look. Oh, here it comes... Here it comes...
"Hm... I'm sorry Harry but I don't think that's very fair to someone..." I answered and constantly avoiding his eyes. And even though I wasn't looking at him, I knew that the smile that he had had faded.
"Erm?" he asked after a moment.
"Hm... I... Well... Nothing is arranged but... I..." I mumbled and finally turned to look at him. He looked back deep into my blue eyes and I felt that he got the answer. His raised eyebrows lowered in thoughts of anger and rage but also disappointment.
"You're joking... You're just... You're not going with him,are you?" he said. I turned my look away. "What, you're back together or something?" I didn't answer while he was still searching for my eyes. "Are you completely mad?" he gasped.
"Ughh, Harry... I told you nothing is arranged but I imagine it wouldn't be quite suitable to show up with a friend who is not my boyfriend."
"So you're back together with him..." he said, almost to himself. "How long?"
"Not long at all..."
"Err..." Harry looked around him awkwardly. "Okay... Brilliant..."
He was starting to lose all hope nowadays. After his tireless attempts over the last few months of my singledom didn't seem to be working, I was watching him going back to what he knew best; pained looks and subtle comments.
"Just one thing. Out of mere curiosity? Did you tell him that we kissed?" said Harry and raised his eyebrows.
"We never kissed. You kissed me," I corrected.
I saw the light leave Harry's eyes at once.
"I thought... I mean..."
"I drew back. Remember?"
"Yes, but you lingered there for about... five seconds," he seemed at loss of other words.
"It was two seconds actually," I frowned. "And I didn't even move. I was startled."
I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or to cry at that moment. Neither seemed fit for the situation but I wanted to say something - anything - to balance out the awkwardness.
"All this time you thought that I kissed back?"
Harry breathed out heavily. At this point I didn't know if it was his imagination or his lack of experience that made him think this was a proper kiss.
"No..." he hesitated. "Not exactly. I was very concentrated at your thoughts."
It was true that at that moment I had gotten carried away by emotions. When kissed by a boy that has hit on you for ages and when you haven't heard from your boyfriend in ages like I hadn't last summer, you're bound to have some conflicting thoughts inside you. Flutter is not love, however, and if there was any flame in me, it had already burned out.
"I was... really confused that summer."
"Blame it on the concussion," he said with a burst of laughter. "Well... I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. I guess I trusted your feelings more than you did," he said.
His green eyes were drenched in jealousy. He walked away as I realised that my heart had skipped a beat.
* * *
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