Draco's Point Of View:
I remember it hurt too much to bear; leaving her. It wasn't just the rush of having her between my fingers in that damned toilet, it was what I felt was coming.
Mother didn't come to King's Cross Station to take me home - she was kept back in our Manor where the Ministry had restricted her until the trial would be over. My owl came back to me with a letter. Father had managed to loosen up the Aurors when it came to me since I was underage. I wouldn't be followed and wouldn't be house arrested like Mother. I switched trains and returned home.
No one was guarding it - one of Father's achievements, there was only a special spell to make sure Mother didn't leave the house.
Mother was waiting for me in the Grand Hall when I got in. She took her time embracing me, telling me she missed me, her yearly ritual every time I was coming back from school.
The house seemed rather empty without Father. He wasn't a particularly loud person, and he didn't spend time with me whatsoever. I would always remember him working in his office, so I didn't feel his physical absence rather than the emotional one. It was like his strict and demanding aura was missing.
There were times in my childhood that I wished this aura could disappear. Now that it had, my father being in Azkaban, it didn't quite feel right.
"The Dark Lord will be coming soon," said Mother.
I looked at her, not quite knowing what to say to that.
"You will be in your room until I tell you to go downstairs and meet him."
"He wants to see me?"
Mother nodded and tried to raise her eyebrows to act casual but it wasn't quite working for her.
"Why?"
Mother didn't answer at once. "Just go upstairs and I'll tell you when it's time."
It was then when I realised there was something going seriously wrong.
Yet, I had expected it; I was the man of the house now, and if something was going wrong with this family - which it was - I was the one held accountable.
I waited for almost an hour in my chamber, in silence, not quite doing anything at all but just thinking of what could be coming for me. The afternoon was getting darker and thick clouds were gathering. I watched them sitting over the Manor and then I saw the rain falling on my windows.
I closed the drapes because the rain was only making me feel more anxious, and then opened them again, as if I was an indecisive child.
"Sweetheart?" she said smiling but she couldn't hide the sorrow under her look. "He's now waiting for you."
"Mother, what happened? What did he say?" I walked up to her to study her pale face.
"Nothing, nothing..." she said hastily but she still couldn't hold back a tear.
"Why are you crying?" I said whipping her tear out of her face.
"Listen what you have to do now; you have to say yes to everything."
"What is going on?"
"There is only one thing to know. This man is dangerous. Trust me. He could wipe us out as easily as our bad reputation. He is angry. When he says 'do something', you do it. When he says 'go somewhere', you go. It's what we need now."
"What-" I interrupted.
"Promise me that you won't fail your father," she continured. "Whatever he says, you will obey. This is the only way for us to survive this. Even the most absurd thing, say yes. You have to do this to save your father. Promise?"
"Okay, alright, I promise."
"He's not very patient, you know... I'll just be waiting for you at my room, okay?" she said.
I did as she said. I walked down the stairs to the Living Room trembling with fear. When I reached the big, old door, I hesitated very much before knocking.
I swallowed and then knocked.
"Come in?" I heard Voldemort's voice from inside. I opened the door and got inside to see him sitting comfortably on the sofa.
"You asked to see me, my Lord?" I tried to make my voice sound straight and steady.
"Yes, Draco. Please, sit down," he answered. I did as he said. "Now, before you are told of what you are about to do," about to do? I thought. "I want you to know that your father's behavior has been the worse and I advise you not to follow his example, if you really take your Death Eater life seriously."
"Don't worry, I won't," I said stiffly.
"I think so, too. You were always loyal enough. You even tried romance my daughter to get her to join me. It was thoughtful of you to try and trick her, I know it mustn't have been easy to act as if you were in love with that stupid, ugly girl," said Voldemort. So that's what they told you... "But let me explain to you about your mission." He stood and went near the lit fireplace. "As you well know, this time was never more crucial. If we want to rule, we have to struck down our enemies. And I ask you, who is one of our biggest enemies?" He couldn't have meant Harry Potter, that was too obvious. After a moment of silence, he went on. "Let me help you. You leave in the same environment. He also lives in Hogwarts, even though he isn't a student. He also goes with the name of... the greatest wizard of our century..." he said mockingly before a little laugh. "Any ideas?"
I thought about it, even though I already knew the answer.
"Albus Dumbledore?" I asked. What was more frightening with what Voldemort might want me to do with this person. Spy on him him, maybe...
"That's right. You have direct access to our Headmaster because you also study in Hogwarts. It is easy for you to spy him, and much easier to kill him."
I starred.
"That's right, Draco. You will kill Albus Dumbledore for me."
I couldn't spell a word, I couldn't even breath. It was monstrous. He wanted me to kill someone and most importantly he wanted me to kill... him. I thousand thoughts exploded inside my head. Why would he ask someone like me to do that? He knew I was young and inexperienced. How was I going to kill the greatest wizard of our century, and most importantly, how was I going to kill the only family that Anne has been left with?
"How?" This was the only word I could spell.
"This is none of my business. However you want," he answered naturally.
"Why me?" I asked.
"What an egoistic thing to say, Draco." He breathed out after a moment of stunned staring. "I'm disappointed. Not only by your father, but also from you now. I don't expect you to deal with something so important in seconds but I would at least expect you to be grateful. It is the greatest honor, being chosen for a mission like this. You should be proud rather than afraid."
"I'm not afraid." I lied.
Lies came naturally to me by this point. It was easy to go ahead and play my role, a role that I was playing more often than just on my encounters with this person.
"I hope you're not," he said.
"Does my mother and father know?" I asked.
"Both of them. And they consider it as the greatest honor that the Malfoy family has ever granted," he answered.
My mother's tears made sense. There was not a chance that my mother, my brave and loving mother, wanted me to go on with something like this. It was a rouse, an act; an act that I had to continue if I wanted to protect her.
I understood that Voldemort didn't care about me. Albus Dumbledore was invincible. So many have tried in the past and no one, not even Voldemort himself, had managed to defeat him. What made him think that I, a – let's be honest – not particularly talented boy, could finally manage it. What was different with me. I was not different at all. The only thing that Voldemort wanted is to take revenge for my father. I knew that. He didn't care for me.
And I knew, that since no one had ever managed to kill Dumbledore, I would be soon defeated too. I knew, deep inside me I truly knew, that I would never kill him. Not only because I couldn't but also because I didn't want to. But this, automatically meant that... I'd be killed.
"I can't do this. I would, if I could, but I just can't..." I tried to protest even though I didn't really think that I was getting out of this Living Room without a mission to fulfil.
"You underestimate yourself, Draco," he made a ridiculous excuse. "Let's make a deal, then." He breathed out before speaking. "Kill Dumbledore for me, and I will not harm neither your family-" Oh, and now he was threatening me, how better could it get? "- nor you-" Oh, and now he was threatening to kill me! "-nor your beloved traitess, Annalise."
I took the bullet in my heart and I deserved it. It was fitting for a person like me to end up with a choice like this; to become a killer or to watch my loved ones die. Most of all, my Annie. My Annie, who had been through so much. She had attended her adoptive parent's funeral and then mourned her mother's death like it was her own. She had spent sleepless nights, trembling for her life, gambling every good that she had in her to spare herself another minute with me. How would I ever save her by condemning her to such a terrible fate of having to suffer yet another death?
"And what will happen, if I fail this mission?" I asked trembling.
"Let us say that I am a man of my word," he finally said.
And that was painful. I doubted that I could kill Dumbledore, I doubted I could kill anyone in my life. But I had to do this. I had to do this, otherwise, he would kill all of us. I couldn't condemn everyone just because I was a coward.
"Will you take this mission, Draco? Will you kill Albus Dumbledore?" Voldemort finally asked, as if he left me a choice. I knew he didn't. It was already decided.
"Of course, my Lord," I said.
And the words flew from my mouth almost involuntarily.
I didn't know what I was thinking. My life would be so much different if I hadn't said yes, and yet, I was such a coward that I couldn't stand the risk.
"I should ask you one last thing. Don't dare to talk of it to anyone. I assume that you have already realised the importance of this mission and it has to stay secret," he said before I nodded silently.
I loved my family. I knew that saying no – even though, as I said, I didn't really have a choice – might be fatal to both me and my family. I chose to protect them. I would.
And I loved Annalise. Perhaps even more than my family because, as I'd said before, she was my family too, now. I couldn't live knowing that I hurt her. And I myself couldn't live without her.
One day I said that I would kill for her.
And now, I was condemned to do it in all reality.
"Now that this is finally set, I think you're ready to pull up our sleeve," he looked at me. "You've proven how loyal you are."
And now he was going to make me a Death Eater. A Death Eater.
I firstly stood and then pulled up my sleeve, not by choice but knowing that, if I wouldn't, everything that I had said and promised wouldn't count.
I had to do it. For my family. For Annie. For my Annie.
I breathed out and thought that it was going to be for the sake of their health.
Voldemort pulled out his white wand and placed its tip on my naked forearm roughly. Soon enough, I felt my skin burning from inside out. A snake was taking shape on my pale skin. It was now moving and swelling. The looks were better than the feels. The new tattoo kept burning and hurting with no stop.
That was it.
When I looked back to my forearm, I was a Death Eater.
* * *
I knocked on the door at my mother's bedroom. When I opened it, I saw her sitting motionless on her bed.
"How did it go?" she asked me. I noticed that the tears on her face hadn't dried yet, she hadn't stopped crying. I didn't answer. When she looked at my rolled-up sleeve she noticed the mark on my hand.
"Oh, sweetheart..." she said coming up to me crying sorrowfully. She embraced me. "It'll be okay..."
"Don't lie to me..." I said. She looked at me and then she drew a so-called-smile on her face.
"Come... Come and sit by the fire."
She could hardly move me from my place but when she finally managed to get me near the fire, she needed more effort to sit me on the armchair. Then she moved to her bedside table and pulled out a dusty bottle with honey-coloured liquid and two glasses. She came closer to me.
"I wouldn't believe I would ever say that but..." she put some of the drink in a glass. "Take this. It helps," she said giving me the glass. "It's not magical. It's muggle. Glad your father hasn't seen it yet." She breathed out putting some of the drink in her glass. "It's called Whiskey," she said sitting on the armchair opposite me.
"Mother of the year. I like it," I said and I drank. A few silent moments passed.
"You'll get used to it. I didn't want to become a Death Eater either but I had to because I loved your father. And now you became a Death Eater because you love Anne, and you don't want to hurt her. It's the same game, going on long enough. But it's all right. You'll get used to it at some point..." she said. After a minute of drinking, I felt my head dizzy.
"What am I going to do?" I asked after a minute of watching the fire.
"You'll do what you're told. Otherwise, we're all dead," she answered.
"Mother, do you really think that I can kill the greatest wizard of this century? Let's be honest with ourselves, I couldn't do this in a hundred years. But most importantly, I don't want to! I could never kill whoever Anne has been left with."
"Can you stop thinking about her for at least one moment?"
"No, I can't. I'm not a crazy teen. Do you know how hard it's been with her? Having to hide every other day? A crazy teen would have given up. A crazy teen wouldn't do that," I said and looked down at my forearm.
"You're about to lose your life, if you don't fulfill the Dark Lord's wishes and you're thinking of the traitress?" she said with a tone of disgust in her voice at the word 'traitress'.
"I don't even recognize you! What changed your mind about Anne?" I shook my head.
Tell you what; she's about to lose her only son! That's what changed her! I thought and regretted talking.
"Draco, this is serious. I know you love her but at this point, you have to love yourself. And yes, I think that you could manage it if you really try to kill him," she said that I noticed the lie in her eyes.
"He wants to take revenge from Father for what happened at the Ministry of Magic, you know that! What did you expect? That your son is more important than any other Death Eater? Mother, you are no fool. You know that. And you also know that I'm smart enough to understand what is happening, myself," I yelled.
"Panic doesn't help, Draco. You are the chosen one! You are the one that has been chosen to kill Dumbledore and the only thing you can do is try and fulfil the Dark Lord's wishes. You can't do anything less. It's set now. You are going to try, at least," she said steadily.
"But how am I going to do this to Anne. I don't want to hurt her!" I said furiously.
"Listen, honey, you have to try. If you want to think about Anne first, then do it. Hurt her. Hurt her to save her. There's no going back now! Can you see the good side of it? If you can kill him, then our family won't meet greater honor. And for goodness sake, you are the Chosen One! The Chosen One!"
* * *
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