False God / Joffrey Baratheon is out!
The black widow program has infiltrated the capital
'When we were young my father couldn't even tell us apart... I didn't understand why he let jaime fight and not me.' cersei went on. Thea yawned bored out of her mind. While the good proper women prayed, Cersei drank and drank getting drunker by the minute. Thea poured herself another glass.
The flock of noble woman sat praying with sansa while cersei drank bored out of her mind.
'I wanted to fight with sword and lance but instead I was taught to smile and say please and he was the heir to Castlery rock and I was sold to some stranger like a horse to be ridden whenever he desired...' cersei went on bitterly.
'You were Roberts queen.' Sansa told her
'And you will be Joffrey's...' cersei told her. 'enjoy...' Cersei added with a chuckle. 'Theadora...' Theo cringed inwardly at her name.
'Your grace,' she offered her best smile. 'You need a refill? I do.' Thea said pouring them both another glass. 'Look at them, so perfect, praying...' Teha chuckled. 'the Gods don't give a damn about us.'
'Agreed.' She clinked glasses with Thea.
'If they did women would be in charge and men would constantly be at our feet, begging to please us in every way.'
'Agreed.' Cersei said taking another sip.
'we wouldn't have to do as the man says, we wouldn't be forced to marry cunts like Robert and Tyrion.' Thea went on.
"AGREED!" Cersei declared blissfully buzzed.
'Fuck men, all of them.' Thea declared. 'they don't understand the world, they don't understand women, why should they get a say in how the world works!' Thea declared.
'AGREED!' Cersei declared and the both of them were laughing giddy. 'Fuck kings, we need Queens!" Cersei told her.
'Fuck kings.' Thea agreed. 'to the queen.'
'To the queen.' Cersei agreed, her head held high as she looked the room. 'I don't think I know this one.' Cersei said seeing Shae standing in the corner she got up walking over to her. 'pretty,' shae stood up straight before doing an awkward curtsey before cersei. 'that is the worst curtsey I've ever seen.' Cersei told her 'I mastered it when I was four.' Cersei informed her snottily. 'straighten your back and bend.' cersei demonstrated shae repeated her. 'Better you learn fast. How long have you been in lady sansas service?'
'A few weeks... Your grace.' shae answered as soon as cersei sat back down
'When did you leave Loro?' shae didnt answer. 'I had a Baratheon handmaiden once although she was a lords daughter and you're not. When did you come to Westeros?' confused shae answered.
'ten years ago.' shae said, her gaze kept shifting to sansa.
'From a commoner to the red keep in ten years... yet somehow you didn't learn how to curtsey... I imagine that is an interesting story considering your age.' Shae offered her a tight lipped smile.
'What is your name?' cersei questioned looking her over.
'Shae your grace.'
'tell us a story Shae.' Cersei requested taking her glass and bringing it to her lips once more. shae thought for a moment she didn't have many stories that wouldn't give away her past.
'When I was 13...' Shae began but a guard came running in calling for her Grace.
'Get the king back to his room.' Cersei demanded.
'the kings presence is good for moral, your grace.'
'GET THE KING BACK TO HIS ROOM!' cersei demanded.
Thea watched cersei and leave Thea sobered up. Walking out of the room with grace and elegance she moved back to her room and saw fire raging outside her balcony.
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'Hound, tell the hand that the king has asked him a question!' Joffrey sneered. Sandor rolled his eyes but obeyed like a good dog.
'The King has asked you a question.' he said in dull tone of voice
'Tell the King that the hand of the King is too busy to tell him of every decision he makes.' Joffrey retorted. He nodded to Lancel.
'The hand of the King wishes to tell you-' Lancel began.
'If I tell you to cut him in half-' Joffrey began
'That would make me the quarter man.' Tyrion told him 'it doesn't have the same ring to it.' Joffrey didn't approve of his uncles teasing. 'chop me in half and I won't be able to lead our fleet no signal no plan and Stannis Baratheon takes the city and the iron Throne put your pinch little head up on the gate somewhere might be quite amusing except my head will be up there too. I like my head I don't think that I want to see it up there just yet.' Tyrion informed him.
Tyrion sent the signal and Bronn shot out a flaming arrow into the water it soared through the air as Stannis and his army watched it land the water, the water turned green exploding the boats around it a green haze of fire irrupted it. Consuming them.
+++++++++
'He is a serious man Stannis Baratheon.'
'They are coming ashore.' Joffrey noted
'Rain fire on them.' Tyrion declared. One by one Tyrion sent the men off their positions and jobs assigned
'If there's any of those flaming fucking arrows come near me I'm gonna strangle you with your own guts.' Sandor warned one of the archers. Tyrion stayed up top watching as his plan was working, they were going to win the war and it was all thanks to him. A burning man on fire came charging at Sandor and he stood frozen as well. His fear paralyzed him. sandor pushed away from the fire dazed and angry.
'Someone bring me a drink.' Sandor said stepping away from the water, towards the wall. He spit it out 'fuck the water bring me wine!' he demanded taking a long chug.
'Can I get you some iced milk and some raspberries?' Tyrion questioned as Sandor got farther and farther away from the fighting.
'Eat balls.' Sandor told him bluntly
'You're on the wrong side of the wall.' Tyrion told him
'I lost half my man the black water is on fire.'
'Dog I command you to go back out there and fight.' Joffrey yelled outraged.
'You are kings guard,' Tyrion reminded him 'you must beat them back... where you are going... take the city. Your kings city!' Tyrion told him
'Fuck the kings guard. Fuck the city. Fuck the king.' Sandor spat marching away, he was done with kings landing.
+
'Come with me.' Sandor told her and thea looked up to him. 'Come with me. I will treat you right. You wont have to marry the imp if he survives and you won't be sold off or raped by stannis men. Come with me thea I will keep you safe.'
'Finally, lets get the fuck out of here.' Thea agreed.