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CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
here comes the flood.
season five, episodes three and four.
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With a towel wrapped messily around her chest and another twirled along her hair, Billie left the foggy bathroom and headed towards her room, droplets of water from the recent shower still littering her body. As she made her way through the door and was about to strip the towels in order to get dressed, she was startled by the sight of Derek measuring her bedside table.
"Jesus!" Billie jolted in shock, placing her hand on the hem of the shower she used as covering in order to make sure it was secure. "Derek, why on Earth are you measuring my nightstand?"
"Hey, Bils," he replied simply. "Not your nightstand-the wall. I'm thinking of turning this room into my office after you've moved out. It's got good lighting, plus, it's the biggest one in the house."
"Wait, I'm moving out? When am I moving out?" Billie asked in utter confusion.
"Uh," Derek looked up at her, "soon?"
"Why did I not know I was moving out?"
He frowned- "Meredith didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what? Why? Is she kicking me out?" She became alarmed. "If it's because of the panties that are hanging from the shower faucet, then tell her it wasn't me. Alex has slept with, like, thirty chicks in there in the past two weeks."
"No, it's-" Derek shook his head, getting her to stop talking, but noticing she still looked pretty confused. "I'll just talk to her."
Billie watched as he walked past her and left the room, to which she peeked through the door. "Tell her though!"
☆
As Meredith walked down the hallway in order to get to the elevator, she found herself swarmed and surrounded by a crowd of people; Izzie, Billie, Alex and Derek all blocked her way, all with the same question.
"When were you planning on telling us we had to move out?" Alex asked angrily.
"When were you planning on telling them they had to move out?" Derek chorused.
"What? Why do they have to move out?" Meredith shook her head, baffled by the crowd that now pestered her from all over.
"Yeah, why do we have to move out?" Billie turned to Derek with her arms crossed over her chest, but before he could defend himself, Izzie was pushing her way through them, handing Meredith a plastic bag with a muffin inside.
"Meredith? Hey, look, I made this, especially for you," she said.
"It's a zoo, a frat house. Alex and his parade of women-" Derek leant into Meredith.
"-his parade of skanks," Izzie corrected.
"Shut up. Those chicks are stacked, they're nice to look at." Billie nudged her on the ribs, surprised at how much she was starting to sound like Alex.
"Whatever. Am I apartment-hunting or what?" The man in question gestured widely.
"I don't know, I have to think about it," Meredith said, turning to Derek with a little anger since she was definitely not expecting to get attacked so early in the morning.
"It's just- you know, eat the muffin, Mer. Taste the muffin. Remember the muffin," Izzie said eerily.
☆
After a long morning in which she was unable to find any interesting cases to stick with, Billie finally found the person she was looking for: her intern, John, filled out a chart by the nurses station.
She landed by his side, leant onto the counter and, with a cheeky smile on her face, stared at him. John glanced sideways at his resident, weirded by her stance.
"Can I... help you, Dr. Black?" He frowned.
"We haven't talked in a while now, right, Rogers?" she suggested, nudging him with her elbow.
"Uhm... we talked today in rounds," he said, "right?"
"No, I mean, like, really talked." She gestured widely, only getting him to feel more puzzled about what she was saying. "Like, remember that one time you asked me if Lexie Grey was single? I do."
"Oh." John suddenly seemed starkly uncomfortable. "Yeah."
"Well, spill."
He limited himself to a repressed shrug, trying to avoid the conversation by looking back down at the chart in front of him. "Uh, it's a long story."
"It better be. I mean, it's been, like, what? Five months? If you haven't asked her out yet, then you're just pathetic."
John shook his head. "I'm not gonna talk about this with my boss."
"Well, then, as your boss, I can demand you to," Billie shrugged, "or, I can come as a friend, and you can talk to me as a friend." They stayed silent for a second in which John seemed to hesitate. "Are you guys dating?"
"No! No, I'm... no, we're not dating. At all. Not at all," he said awkwardly, handing the finished chart to a nurse and turning to his resident coyly.
Billie squinted her eyes at him, trying to read off of his nuances the reason to his discomfort. "John Francis Rogers, what on Earth did you do to the poor girl?"
"I didn't-" he began, but stopped, looked around and then leant in. "I... we... sort of... kind of... maybe... slept together?"
For some reason, she'd always feel like her interns spoke a different language than her. Whenever hearing about their problems, she wouldn't understand why they sounded sad about things that were supposed to be good, or happy about things that were supposed to be bad. As if they were all just coded differently.
The girl shook her head in lack of understanding. "I think I'm missing something. Isn't that supposed to be a good thing?"
"Well, yes-" John grimaced. "-if she hadn't told me she liked somebody else right after. It would've saved me a lot of trouble."
"Oh." Billie was suddenly a little too invested. "Well, did she tell you who it was?"
John huffed out and rolled his eyes, as if the thought annoyed him. "O'Malley."
"Wait," she frowned, "really?"
"Yeah. I mean, what does she see in him? Why is she-" he continued, but cut himself off like he didn't want to speak anymore. He rolled his eyes. "I have to go."
Billie didn't say anything and just remained in the same spot while John got lost down the hallway. In the end, after some internal reasoning, she nodded to herself.
"Who would've thought," she whispered as she walked away.
☆
With her mind someplace else, Billie was sat in the library with a bunch of pamphlets she'd picked up from the bulletin board, all of which displayed different apartments that she was judging based on their descriptions.
"What you doing?" Ian asked from behind her, taking place on the seat by her side.
He plummeted down on the chair, sighed out and closed his eyes as if intending to rest them, which caught Billie's attention. Immediately, during his distraction, she could tell he was tired.
"You good?" she asked genuinely.
"Yeah," he said breathily, dragging his hand along his hair. "A little tired, is all."
"Oh." Billie frowned. "You got any sleep last night?"
"Eh. Not really." Ian shrugged carelessly, then leant in to analyze the pamphlets displayed on the table. "What's this?"
"I'm looking for a place to live." Billie sighed. "So far, out of the five options, the only one that seems good enough is this one-" she singled out one of the papers, "-since it's close to the hospital and it's spacious, but not too much. But I can't finish wrapping my head around it, it's just... not what I want."
"Hm." Ian nodded, analyzing the many papers, then grabbing one himself. "I like this one. Two bedrooms, two bathrooms, ample kitchen and balcony."
"Crappy neighbourhood." Billie shook her head with a huff. "I think I'll just give it up for now. Maybe take Derek's trailer once he's out."
"Well, you're not gonna live in a trailer." Ian scoffed as if the idea seemed ridiculous to him.
"Why not?"
"Because."
Billie stayed silent for a second, waiting for the last part of the sentence, but when it never came, she arched an eyebrow, deadpan. "Oh, great, Ian, thanks. Now all my life problems are solved. You really are a sweetheart."
"No, I mean-" He waved her off with a click of his tongue, almost as if he couldn't quite word what he wanted to say. "You shouldn't live in a trailer in the middle of nowhere when you have a perfectly good house you could use instead."
"Ian, I don't have a house. That's basically the whole point of-"
"My, my house. My-" he corrected, then looked away, nearly ashamed, "-perfectly good house."
Billie was starstruck for a second, trying to make out his words, but failing miserably. "I'm sorry, what?"
Ian almost glared in her direction, seemingly annoyed at the thought of his exposed vulnerability. Billie was still starkly puzzled.
"Are you..." she drawled. "Are you asking me to move in with you?"
He rolled his eyes. "Just don't make it a big deal, will you?"
Billie didn't say anything at first, but the longer she stayed silent and the longer he remained looking in the other direction, the bigger the smile grew on her face. In the end, she chuckled and nudged him with her elbow.
"You could've just asked," she said amusedly.
"Yeah, whatever." Ian shrugged her off, trying to keep the facade, but in the end, eyeing her sideways. "So?"
"So?"
"Do you want to? Move in with me?" he asked, embarrassed.
Billie slowly nodded with a grin. "Yes, Ian, that'd be nice. I'd like to move in with you."
The man's body slowly lost the stiff stance, and he nodded. "Okay...! Okay."
"Okay." She smiled.
☆
It wasn't long until Billie was moving her stuff into Ian's place. In the end, Meredith had decided to let her friends stay at her house, but the brunette had seen it as an opportunity to spend more time with her brother, so she had moved out anyway, always using her persons as her moral support and therapists throughout it all.
She was excited, although somewhat nervous. As well as Ian, Billie was also new to this world, so she didn't know if moving in with her brother was a good idea and there was always a small part of her that feared the experience, but she was mostly thrilled to see what could happen.
So, now, Ian helped Billie roll her suitcases and boxes into the ample house, which happened to be much bigger than what she had expected.
"I think this would be the last of them," she said with a huff as she tiredly put down on the floor the final box. Ian kicked the front door closed.
"Alright, then." He nodded. "Wanna see the house?"
"Sure." She grinned.
Soon, Ian was strolling around the house, followed by Billie. He dragged her through the living room, the diner, the kitchen, the hallway, the stairs, his bedroom, the bathroom and finally, what would now be her own bedroom.
They walked in through the door and Billie smiled at the view; the room overall was naturally empty, given it was unused up to the moment, but even so, she could see the comfort in the enclosed space. There was a wide window on the opposite wall, a bed to the left and a desk to the right. Even in the wake of its emptiness, Billie could see the potential beauty in it.
"I love it," she said. "I do, I love it. I could do so much in here."
"Well, I'm glad you do," he replied coyly, slight blush over his cheeks, but wide grin regardless.
"Where did you even find this place? It's... perfect," Billie asked, slightly disbelieving, starting to travel the room, running her hand along the duvet and relishing the view through the window.
Ian hesitated, touching softly the obsidian ring on his middle finger, which held so much significance. "It was mom and dad's old place before they moved to New York."
At the words, Billie froze completely.
She was always very consciously aware that her parents had played an important role in Seattle. Both of them had been born there. They had gone through their residencies and fellowships together and had spent a great deal of their lives in that place, in the very same hospital Billie now worked at. She knew Seattle was the place where they had fallen in love, gotten married and, eventually, had their first child.
Billie had been conceived in Seattle, but born in New York, so she had never really gotten a taste of her parents' lives in their hometown. She knew about the past, the now obsolete existence of it, but never had she given it much thought.
But now, Ian's words had caused something inside her. Almost like she could feel them. Almost like she could feel her.
Slowly, she turned, trying to hide the fact that his words had hit her even harder than anything else. "It was?"
Ian nodded. "I hope that's okay. Everything's just how they left it. Except... you know, empty."
"It's- It's fine," she said in a self-coaxing manner, eyeing her surroundings with slight wariness. "It's fine."
"Are you sure? You seem-"
"I'm okay. I just wasn't expecting it." Billie cleared her throat, but then paused. "This is not... it's not their room, is it?"
"No, no. I'm in their room." He was quick to deny. "Is that okay?"
She nodded, choked in words. "Thank you for telling me."
"Okay," Ian said. "I'll be moving your boxes up, okay? You can start settling. If you need anything, tell me, yeah?"
Billie nodded. Ian gave her one last look before he was getting lost down the hallway, and not long after, she heard the sound of the stairs, which meant he was already gone.
Once she was alone, she took one last look around the room, feeling like the walls around her could see her, and knowing they kept more memories than she'd ever know.
☆
"You haven't read any of it?" Cristina asked disbelievingly to a very consternated Meredith, who had been acting off ever since Derek had found her mother's journal in the basement.
"No! What if I'm in it? I don't want to hear what she thought of me. I've heard enough of that already," the blonde defended just as her, Cristina, Alex, Izzie and a particularly distracted Billie arrived at the nurses station, followed each by their interns.
"What's worse, if you're in it or you're not?" Cristina whispered.
"I don't know!" the blonde replied. "I mean, see, why is he in the study, rooting around in closets, trying to dig up my mother's ghost?"
"I think... cause you invited him."
"I don't know." Meredith groaned, then nudged Billie, who snapped out of her reverie. "What do you think, Bil?"
"Huh?" She frowned.
Meredith eyed her strangely. "Did you hear anything we just said?"
"Uh- I was-" She cleared her throat. "I'm- I'm sorry, what was it?"
"Wow." Cristina chuckled. "You're somewhere else. What's the deal with you?"
"It's nothing."
"Your face says otherwise."
"I-" Billie tried to argue, but realized it was pointless, so simply sighed. "I moved in with my brother."
Meredith and Cristina shared a look. "Yeah, we know. Isn't that you wanted?"
"Yes, but-" She looked around and then leant in, whispering, "It's my parents' house."
Both girls' lips immediately morphed into an O, but before they could discuss further into the topic, Webber approached the many residents and interns bunched up in the nurses station, causing them to subsequently shut up.
"Apparently, some people thought I was kidding last week when I announced that nobody was going to get to hang out on their favorite specialty anymore," he said. "I wasn't. Junior residents don't specialize, so all the requests to send you back to that place where your true heart lives can end now. Dr. Bailey makes the assignments-do not, and I repeat, do not harangue her."
"Okay..." Billie nodded with a frown, although mildly confused. She leant into Meredith. "Since when is that a rule?"
"Since last week."
"Ugh. God knows what I was doing back then." The girl rolled her eyes.
Just then, Bailey stood in front of them with a clipboard. "Grey, you're on Cardio with Hahn today."
"But-"
"Black and Karev, pit."
"Oh, come on!" Alex complained.
Billie scoffed. "That's not a change, I'm always stuck somewhere with Alex."
"When the Chief said 'don't harangue Dr. Bailey', what do you think he meant?" the resident cut her off harshly, causing Billie to efficiently shut up. "Yang, clinic."
"What? No. No!"
"No, no, wait, wait. The clinic is mine. I say how it's staffed. She'll just ruin it," Izzie interfered, annoyed.
"Yeah, I will, I'll ruin it," Cristina agreed.
"Just let me do it," the blonde added.
"No! You will not. You will do what I say." Bailey raised her voice slightly. "And since Yang couldn't be bothered to show up at the clinic since it opened, think of it as a new frontier in her training." She paused. "And technically, Stevens, it's Black's clinic, not yours. If I wasn't above her, she'd get the final say."
Billie didn't react in the slightest at the words, simply leant onto the counter and, with a huff, propped her head on her fist. She was already dealing with a lot of internal struggles, but now she'd also have to deal with spending the entire day alongside the man who she had been actively trying to avoid.
"Dr. Bailey," a familiar voice-Ian's, naturally-caught her attention. She turned just in time to feel him place his hand on her back. "I'm gonna borrow Dr. Black today, is that okay?"
"No. Not okay, actually," the elder resident interrupted, causing both siblings to frown in sync, so symmetrically that it was almost scary. "If I remember correctly, Dr. Black over here has spent over three hundred hours on neuro in the past month. Like the Chief said, junior residents do not specialize and Black is assigned to the pit today. So no, Dr. LeBlanc, you cannot borrow Dr. Black."
Ian and Billie both looked at a very severe-looking Bailey for a second, but the latter simply stared them down. In said case, Ian had no choice but to laugh, slightly disbelievingly, and then head out.
Billie glanced at the resident. "I'm not specializing on anything."
"Your records say otherwise," Bailey accused. "Now scram."
☆
Billie didn't find anything interesting in the pit, although she had to catch herself multiple times before she came across Alex, who she certainly did not want to speak with. However, as in godsend, Cristina paged her with an emergency at the dermatology department.
"What happened?" Billie came running into the weirdly sunny place, where her person sat on the waiting couch.
Soon, Meredith popped up behind her too. "What is it?"
The brunette frowned. "You paged us 911."
"I'm in the middle of studying for Hahn's pulmonary autograft, I don't see an emergency-"
"No, no, no." Cristina cut Meredith off, grabbing both her persons by the arm and pulling them down to sit next to her on the couch. "They're residents." Cristina grinned and pointed around them, where a few people in orange scrubs shuffled around. "That one baked a seven-layer cake for that one's birthday, from scratch. And that one, that one's girlfriend is taking them skiing this weekend." A woman walked past them. "Oh, this one's the best. Okay, this one gets to leave to go get a facial. And she told her attending. And her attending was happy! Cause they have to have facials, they're dermatologists." Billie and Meredith caught up to the conversation and looked at each other in horror when a man with a massage chair walked by. "I mean, look! Look."
"Oh, my God," the blonde said.
"The hospital has hired someone to rub them-" Cristina added, "-full time."
"I bet their boyfriends don't go digging around in their closets without asking," Meredith whispered.
"I bet they don't have to move into their dead mother and abusive father's house." Billie sighed equally annoyed.
"Never," Cristina agreed.
☆
"What are you doing?"
Billie's hyperbolic jolt caused the neatly stacked suture kits in front of her to crumble down to ruins. She was a little disappointed, given as she had struggled at first to get the kits standing, but she realized worrying about it was way too pathetic and she was not willing to fall down to that level.
However, when she looked up and met eyes with Alex's, she wished she had something to say.
"Uh," she mumbled incoherently, like a child caught in the midst of their mischief. "Just... stuff."
Alex glanced over at the mess in front of her and frowned. "Were you building a tower with suture kits?"
"No." Billie was quick to kick them away, still looking up at him from her spot on the floor. "I just dropped them."
"Right." He squinted his eyes in suspicion, but his expression quickly changed. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Why?"
Alex shrugged. "I thought you'd be on the pit."
"Oh... yeah, well. There was nothing interesting there. Thought I'd hang here to kill some time." Billie shrank back on her place, feeling even more stupid with every word that came out of her mouth.
"In the... supply closet?"
"Yep." She nodded awkwardly, popping the P. "Are you okay?"
"Oh, yeah, I was just-" he waved his hands awkwardly, "-I was looking for you."
"Why?"
"Well, there was, uhm... it's actually raining," Alex explained, almost seeming ashamed. "It reminded me- I just thought you'd like to know."
"Oh." Billie's eyebrows twitched upwards. There was a sudden wake of fondness inside her which she tried like hell to repress. "Thank you."
"Yeah, that's... yeah."
They stayed silent for what, in hindsight, must've been seconds, but during, felt like aging decades. Billie, from her spot on the floor, looked up at Alex, but he refused to look back, like there was something pulling him away. None of them knew when their relationship had come down to this. Both of them hated it. None of them knew how to end it. Both of them wanted to.
None of them did.
"I, uh, I have to go," Alex finally said after a moment, hooking his thumb over his shoulder.
"Oh, yeah! Yeah, yeah, sure." Billie cleared her throat awkwardly, then chuckled. "I was just leaving, actually."
"Okay." He nodded. "I'll see you later."
"Right," she said with a tight-lipped grin. "See you."
☆
Her shift was coming close to an end, but regardless of it, Billie waltzed into the dermatology department, where she knew Cristina and Meredith still sat idly. She took a sprint towards them and plummeted down on the waiting couch.
"What'd I miss?" she asked, eyeing her surroundings, where the eery glow still resided.
"You're gonna love this," Meredith said. "The redhead just gave the short one a case because she thought he'd find it interesting. A pyogenic granuloma."
"Gave it away." Cristina gestured with her hand like she found it to be ridiculous.
Billie shook her head. "We could always transfer. Maybe we'd be happier."
"We'd die of boredom," Cristina retaliated.
"We'd die with great skin," Meredith debated.
"I had the biggest derm emergency that exists today, and it was fun for about a minute, cause the woman almost died, but then we saved her, and all she needed was a stupid biopsy." The curly-haired woman shrugged.
"I was so bored, I found myself in sitting in the supply closet. Alone. Building a tower of suture kits." Billie shook her head and let out a sigh.
"I reattached a coronary artery," the blonde said.
The two remaining girls shared a look before Billie scoffed. "Fuck you."
There was a moment of silent contemplation in which the three girls simply relished their surroundings, where everything was good, happy and gleamingly pink. However, after a while, reality settled in.
Cristina shook her head. "We are not happy, glowy people."
"Yeah," Meredith said.
"Yeah," Billie said.
"We gotta get out of here," Cristina concluded.
"Yeah."
"Yeah."