MILO'S P.O.V.
Where the hell is Brie?
She practically begs me to bring Heather here, insisting I take the fucking train because the little Princess has suddenly developed a love for Thomas the fucking Tank, even though I've never seen her show any fucking interest in anything that rides a track, only for me to find out that she's bringing Liam in the fucking bug!
She literally could have given us a ride here... That way I wouldn't have had sixteen year old girls trying to take fucking videos of me for their social media accounts while Heather berates me for not bringing enough fucking snacks. She's a brat like her mother sometimes...
I don't mean that, I love this girl so fucking much, I've just been a bit on edge today.
Eli was on the phone last night until like three o'clock in the fucking morning because of the time difference, chatting a load of shit and obviously avoiding the one topic he actually needs to talk about.
Not that Luke is any fucking better.
I tried to get him off the phone like three different fucking times but once you get that guy talking he just refuses to shut up... It meant it was the first night that I had to go to sleep without Josh being the last voice I heard.
It's made me miss him so much more than I already was...
Eli bringing the ridiculously handsome man up every two minutes to remind me how fucking incredible he is didn't help, as if I'd need him to... I know the guy is perfect.
Don't ask me what the fuck is going on with us because I don't fucking know. We both agreed that we needed some time to get to grips with what happened but I just don't feel that way anymore.
It's just so easy, picking up the phone and talking to him like it always was. I feel like I did when we were first dating all over again, every time his name pops up on my screen it sends a fury of excitement rushing through me... God, I want to see him so fucking bad but I just don't want to put any pressure on him.
I'm getting kinda desperate.
All the research I've done keeps telling me that you can't just fall straight back into something when reigniting a flame, but what if we fucking can? We have always been the exception to every fucking rule, we have never formed to fucking convention and it works for us.
I swear that he's thinking the same thing, his messages and the way he talks to me... the words are on the tip of his fucking tongue. It's like he's just as afraid to push me as I am to push him because we're both so fucking terrified to lose each other again.
But I want him.
No, I fucking need him.
I've driven to his house four fucking times this week, just sat outside begging myself to go in but so frightened that after what happened in the club it's just going to make him run again.
I don't want to push him, of course I don't want to fucking push him before he's ready but... fffuuuucccckkkk....
That kiss against his neck outside the Manor is the only thing that's kept me fucking sane. The thing that's reminded me why I'm doing this.
I check my phone again but there's no message from Brie, and Josh hasn't been active for over an hour so I can't even use him to keep me entertained.
"Maybe we should wait for them inside, Princess? They might've got stuck in traffic or something?" Not that I'm in a rush to get inside this building. The last time I was here I was having the best date of my fucking life and I know it's all I'm going to be able to think about once I get inside.
Heather shakes her head, sitting on the top of a bin and eating her weight in overpriced train candy as she keeps her eyes firmly glued on the entranceway of the car park.
"Why are men always so impatient? Why do you think you have the right to a woman's time, huh? You're always all just like 'oh woman isn't doing my bidding so I must pout! Must smack her over head with bat and drag her back to cave so she never leave me waiting! Me like obedient punctual women only!' Honestly, just give her five more minutes." Brie has seriously got to stop sending her feminist Ted talks, this is getting ridiculous.
Last week she asked me why it's called a menstrual cycle rather than a womenstrual cycle and then went on to give me a twenty-five minute rant about why we need to bring down the patriarchy because they refused to even give women the right to name their own reproductive systems after themselves.
Then she made me write an apology letter for being male.
I understood.
Heather looks down at her phone before jumping quickly from the lid of the bin and turning around to sort out the wrinkles in my shirt.
"Heather? Want to explain to me what the fuck you're doing?" She never fusses with my clothes...
"Liam just texted, they'll be here any second and you look like shit." I do not! It's not like I need to dress up for Brie. "Crap, they're already here... Well, I did my best. This one's on you now champ." Why is she talking like Coach and smacking my shoulder?
Besides, I don't see the bug... but I sure as fuck see a silver Bentley driven by a fucking supermodel!
Holy fucking shit.
"Bet you wish you'd ironed that shirt now..." Shut up Heather, before I make May teach Cara the best way to shave your head when you're sleeping without being fucking caught.
Josh.
He steps out of the car with a smile, Liam at his side as he glances around looking for someone, before his eyes settle on me and he goes still.
Well at least I'm not the only one that didn't know we'd be seeing each other today.
He looks so fucking good; his well toned calves on display in his fitted shorts, his hair is fucking perfect, a crisp white tee poking out from underneath a grey...
That's my fucking hoodie!
He kept it... He fucking kept it.
The shock wears off and the smile he was wearing moments ago grows exponentially wider, mirroring my own as he gets closer to me.
I can't believe he's fucking here right now.
Liam rushes away from his side, running up and throwing his arms around my neck as I pull him up into my hold.
"I've missed you little man." We only spoke yesterday but I haven't seen him properly since the party.
"I've missed you more... I didn't know you were going to be here, Josh said we were meeting Al." I don't care how we ended up here, I'm just glad we did.
"Brie rang me to say Lee got a stomach bug so could I bring Heather instead, I thought that Brie was supposed to be bringing you." His tiny little arms wrap tightly around my neck, he's so fucking warm, like a little human radiator you never want to let go of.
"Must be something going around," Josh comments, stepping to my side and smiling between me and Liam. "Brie called to cancel last minute because she isn't well but I said that I could still bring him anyway... She didn't mention anything about Al being sick though." That's really weird because Brie sounded fine on the phone with me when she checked we got on the train...
Odd.
Liam wiggles out of my arms, dropping to the floor and bounding straight over to Heather as they begin to run towards the entrance.
"Fancy seeing you here... again." How is he this fucking handsome?
Can I hug him? Kiss him? Drag him straight to the auditorium and pick up where we left off on the floor that night...
Don't push him Milo, you can't fucking push him.
But you can fucking touch him.
Josh smirks as I rest my hand against his hip, glancing back to make sure that Liam and Heather are still busy before slipping my hand into his waist and caressing the fabric.
"You know... I've been looking for this hoodie for four years, it was my favourite." I haven't been looking for shit, I put it in his side of the wardrobe the day I left when I stole his red one, it only felt fair but I didn't expect him to still be wearing it like I wear his.
Josh's cheeks turn the sweetest shade of rouge, I don't remember him getting this red before but it's seriously fucking adorable.
"Well it's mine now... Unless you want to try and take it from me?" Do not tempt me to rip your fucking clothes off Joshua.
Our conversations have got so much more flirty over the last few days, not that they always weren't but I've felt the shift. Just like that day back at camp when I was laying on my bunk slipping messages straight into his inbox and clutching my pillow like a fucking schoolgirl waiting for the reply.
We haven't been able to see each other, we could have but neither of us have had the fucking guts to make that move with everything else that's happened.
Maybe this is destiny at work again...
He looks over at the kids quickly, chewing on his bottom lip for a moment before he leans forward and presses them gently to my head.
He kissed me.
Holy fuck he kissed me.
That smirk of his only gets bigger as he looks at my completely shocked face, winking at me before taking my shoulder and gently guiding me with him towards the entranceway.
I don't need to walk, I can fucking fly now.
Josh. Fucking. Kissed. Me.
I swear that this relationship used to be the other way around, he was the one that was a nervous fucking wreck and I was the one that flirted like fucking crazy.
"I haven't been to this place in years..." He's very fucking funny isn't he.
"Yeah, me neither..." I'm not going to stop smiling all fucking day.
Fuck, nothing's changed in here. It looks exactly the same as the day he brought me... Except it's not just the two of us anymore... Although standing next to him it feels that way.
The kids wait patiently for us to get the tickets, neither of them running off even though I can see Liam itching to get over to the giant planets. These two are freakishly well behaved today... Something feels off...
"So, where do you guys want to start?" Josh asks the two eagerly awaiting children, but they both just look at me with giant smiles.
The temptation to do it is just too much...
"Where everything started for us... the stars."
Josh's face is a fucking picture, he can't even make eye contact with me but he can't control the smile on his face even more. Heather and Liam exchange glances at each other before racing straight off into the main part of the museum.
"You can't be this fucking cute Miles... it's going to make it impossible to keep giving you space." What if I don't want you to give me any space?
We walk quietly through the giant planets, with our knuckles occasionally brushing against each other. I desperately want to reach out and take his hand but I don't want Liam to see when we haven't even spoken to him about us yet.
There isn't even a fucking us... yet.
"Milo, can you tell me about this one?" Liam asks, leaning over the railing and looking down into one of the pits that resemble Orion's belt. I stand next to him, smiling at his gorgeous little face all lit up like a Christmas tree as I start to tell him everything I know.
Josh steps in next to me, I'm pretty sure I've already told him everything I'm saying before but he's still listening and hanging on every word. Liam edges closer to me, trying to get a better look, but it's forcing me to take a step closer and closer to Josh each time. Heather keeps doing the same thing on the other side, wedging her way against Josh until our hips are firmly placed together and we couldn't get any fucking closer if we tried.
My arm brushes up against his, both of us can feel it but neither of us say anything as our skin sits perfectly happy in innocent contact.
"Do you want to move on to the next one?" I ask after reeling off every fact I can think of. Heather and Liam look at each other, glancing quickly at our arms and shaking their heads. "Are you sure? I don't know anything else about these."
"It's okay," Liam responds, "we can just look at them for a minute."
Okay, this is starting to feel eerily familiar. What are these two up to?
Eventually they let us move from this exhibit, only to repeat the process through the next three until I just automatically start slotting myself in right next to Josh. Not that I'm complaining or anything but I definitely feel like I know this play.
Liam gets distracted for a moment by the interactive display boards, he literally lives for tech, bless him. I can see him in the future being a little computer genius, making us fucking millions so me and Josh can take early retirement and just travel the world together.
Damn it Milo, you really have to stop with that.
"Do you guys want to take a look upstairs?" We start to scale the steps, approaching the glass bridge that runs right across the building when Liam pauses.
Is he afraid of heights?
"Liam, do you want to hold my hand?" I can't see his face but he quickly glances up at Heather, making her almost giggle before he turns back to face me.
"I'm eleven years old Milo, I'm not scared. If you're scared then you can hold Josh's hand."
Holy fucking shit.
I don't just know this play...
I've ran this fucking play.
In this very fucking building!
These fuckers are parent trapping us.
Liam and Heather laugh like little fucking Disney villains as they conjoin their hands and race across the bridge. Every part of me doesn't want to fall into this trap but it's massively overshadowed by the part of me that just wants to feel his touch.
Without a second thought, I reach out and lock my fingers with Josh's, a wave of pleasure rushing over my body that settles into perfect contentment at the feeling of his hand in mine.
He hasn't seemed to have picked up on what these two are up to, instead he just grins at me before squeezing my palm and walking us both across the bridge.
I thought he might let it go when we got to the other side but he doesn't, his hand doesn't leave mine for the next three fucking hours. It's just... perfect.
Even when we get to the cafe on the other side and the kids run off to start playing with the screens in what used to be the epic play centre, he still keeps himself tightly locked with me.
"We're booked into the star show at three, do you want a drink or something while we wait, those two don't look like they're going to get out of here anytime soon." Yeah, I'll take one very large ex-basketball playing business hunk of gorgeous with a straw please?
I always think I've got this shit under control until I actually see him, then when I do I just want to fucking keep him. It's unexplainable, I just have this undeniable need to be near him all the time. He's my favourite drug.
"Sure... I'll just have whatever you're having." Josh smiles and nods, going to step out of his seat before realising he's tugging me with him by my hand and almost rolling his eyes at himself before he brings my hand to his lips and places a gentle kiss on it, like no fucking time has passed and this isn't making my stomach feel fuzzy.
Liam crashes into the seat next to me as Heather runs over to Josh at the counter, probably making sure that he won't mess up her order considering she plans on getting about seven different desserts.
"Josh is the best, isn't he?" Why are Liam's eyes that big? Kid looks like he's on meth. "He's so cool, and funny, and financially stable, and-"
"I know what you're doing Liam." Liam cuts off what I'm sure was a very well researched speech, his bug eyes turning back into the beautiful doe ones. I give him a nod that tells him the jig is up and he lets the facade drop, sighing before he just rests his head against my chest.
"I'm sorry, please don't tell Brie that I messed it up." I should have known she'd have something to do with this. "I just... I just really want you two to... I just love you both." This perfect angel, I don't know what I did in a past life to deserve to have such a perfect child in mine now but I'm so fucking grateful.
I pull him over from his seat onto my lap; I don't care how old he is, he's always going to be my little man and that isn't going to fucking change.
"You know that I love you, right?" Liam nods, resting his head against my shoulder and seemingly letting go of the stress he'd put on himself today. "No matter what happens Liam, what does or doesn't happen between me and Josh, it won't change anything with me and you. You are my boy, you always will be. I know I was away for a long time but I'm back now and I will never leave you again. I am going to love and protect you for the rest of your life so you'd better get used to it, I'm not going anywhere little man."
Liam doesn't respond, just burying his face further into my chest as I hold his head against it and kiss the top.
He's been robbed of so much, suffered in ways no child should ever have to suffer. I know one day this is all going to catch up with him, he won't be this happy, sweet little boy forever, but on that day I'm going to make sure that I'm there. With Josh or without him it won't change that, what me and Liam have is too special.
Josh looks at us both with concern when he walks over, only managing to carry about half of Heather's order and nothing for me and him yet, but I just shake my head at him to let him know we're okay as I just let Liam embrace my warmth.
Everything gets a lot lighter after Liam gets some cake in him, him and Heather seeming to let the sugar rush replace any thoughts of their little mission here before they flitter between one screen and the next until it's time to go over to the auditorium.
My heartbeat quickens as we get closer to the doors, every moment of that beautiful memory seeping through from my mind to my heart. I can see Josh doing the same thing as the smile he's worn all day stays permanently etched on his face.
"What's that?" Heather asks, pointing to a little room that finally seems to have some screen-less games in it. We've still got a few minutes before we have to be at the show so we all step inside and my eye is immediately drawn to the game at the back, as is the eye of the competitive little girl next to me.
"Thompson challenge?" Heather looks up at me, a firm glare of competitive hunger glued on her face as she nods.
"Challenge accepted." Oh she is going to regret this. I've been looking for a way to take this girl down a peg or two for a long time.
It's basically the same game they have down at the arcade by us, one of the ones where you throw the basketballs into the hoop as many times as you can in less than a minute, but here the balls are meteors and the hoop looks like a black hole.
"Standard stakes?" Heather agrees instantly. Our promise to owe the winner a no-questions-asked favour sealed.
Josh rolls his eyes as I crank my neck and shake my hands out, but considering that Heather has her leg up on the fucking wall doing stretches I think I being pretty fucking normal.
"You two are way too fucking competitive." Like we give a shit, it's in our blood. He's always just been one of those people that thinks you should let the kid win once in a while, for a confidence booster or something, but I wasn't fucking raised that way. Sorry Heather.
"I'm going to destroy you like a Texan politician destroys women's rights to their own bodies." Where the fuck does she come up with this stuff?
I don't have time for a witty reply as the buzzer goes and I have to start hurling balls like no tomorrow. I'd love to say that it's going to be an easy fucking win, but honestly this girl is frighteningly good.
Jayce has been training her to take over the family legacy since she was old enough to hold a ball and right now I'm not comfortable with how quickly she's matching my shots.
"Go Heather!" Damn it Liam! We just had a fucking moment and here you are rooting for the enemy!
The minute starts to trickle down faster and faster, I glance over at her score screen to see that she's only two fucking baskets away from me.
"I think she's got you Miles." I cannot let her win. He will never let me live it down.
Josh's voice distracts me and Heather manages to catch up to a one basket difference, just as the scoreboard hits ten seconds left.
There's movement behind me but I don't pay attention to it, every ball flowing through the basket like water, until suddenly I'm hit in the ribs with strong wiggling fingers. My whole body convulses with laughter as the tickles send tingles throughout my being and I watch Heather easily slam five more baskets to beat my score.
I'm going to kill him!
"C-Cheat... It... d-doesn't count!"
Josh doesn't relent, Heather forgoing her usual dance victory celebration and instead having to hold her hands onto her thighs to keep her upright whilst laughing, as Josh continues to tickle me until I feel my legs wanting to give out.
"J-Josh! Josh... F-Fuck, stop!" I beg, eventually his fingers leaving my ribs but not my body. I'm still panting for breath as he lets them slip down into my waist, his chest meeting my back when he leans into my ear so only I can hear him. Fuck Josh, you can't do this to me...
"I had to even the score..." He chuckles slightly, his hand smoothing over my hips before his fingers press against the dips on the inside. It's always been a fucking weak spot for me and he knows it, my eyes falling closed and head resting back against his shoulder. His giggling stops, replaced instead with deep breaths against my ear as he strokes his fingers against those points and I have to bite my bottom lip not to release the noise that I really fucking want to.
He leans in close, his voice barely above a whisper as the kids get distracted by another game. "Damn it, Miles... My touch... it still does something to you..."
It never fucking stopped.
The queue has almost completely disappeared when we finally get back out into the hallway, the employee about to lock the doors for the show as we race up with our tickets.
The kids shove me and Josh into the corner seats so that they can get a better view of the screen down front, but we both know that the place you really need to look is above you.
This place, this room, this man. It feels like we've come full circle since we were here last... it's kind of the perfect place for us to start again.
The children gasp as the lights turn off and the stars are brought to the inside, all the other people in the room having the same reaction but for the first time I don't look at the night sky, I look at the reflection of it in his eyes.
It's so much more beautiful this way. I didn't think that was possible.
Darkness shields us, everybody around distracted by the vision of beauty above them but I'm to hypnotised by the one in front of me. Our eyes never leave one another as his hand comes up and cups my face.
"Bringing you here that night... it's still one of the best things I've ever fucking done." I still think it was the best day of my life.
I never got to give him this...
"Are you busy tonight?" I have to fucking see him.
"No," he answers softly, "why, Miles?"
"Because I want to do something I should have done a long fucking time ago.
"I'm taking you on a date."