Night Air

Chapter 48

My fist hit his door as hard as I could five times in a row, and after two seconds of silence, I grew angry and did it again, this time cursing his name. "Damn it, Niall! Open the fucking door!" I pounded again but got no answer and then quickly reached into my bag and pulled out the small key to his room. I still had tears on my face and you better believe I got strange looks on the bus for it.

I shoved the key in and pushed the door open to see a tired looking Niall in front of the door. The sight of him pissed me off as I stepped in and slammed the door closed.

"You," I growled stomping towards him. He stepped back quite a few steps but I was faster than he was. He was against the wall in an instant and I was livid. "You think that you can just run away like that? You're quitting!? What the fuck Niall! I thought you were better than that! I thought-"

"Well you thought wrong, Alyssa." He calmly crossed his muscular arms over his chest. The fact that he was acting so calm while my eyes were ablaze only pissed me off even more.

"Who are you!? This isn't you, Niall! I don't know who you are. I can't believe that I-"

"That you what?" I swallowed as he cut me off realizing that I almost told him that I was in love with him. He gave me a strange face and took a step towards me as I took one back. I watched his calm eyes turn dark and sarcastic. It scared me. "That you trusted me?  That you actually thought I was different?" My anger quickly dissapeared and was replaced by fear as Niall quickly became the one backing me up just by stepping. It was like we were same side magnets and the distance between us refused to decrease.
His eyes were so dark and cold but his voice so calm. That's what frightened me the most.
"Is that what you thought?" He asked as my back hit the wall on the other side of the room. I didn't answer and just looked at the floor but he just grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. "Is it?" A few tears slid down my cheeks and I nodded my head.
He gritted his teeth and it was obvious he was mad now. His hold on my jaw tightened the slightest and he brought my face close to his. "Well too damn bad that's not the real me and you can't ever change that, God damn it!" I squealed and flinched away as his free hand balled into a fist and struck the wall only iches from my head.
"No!" I cried and pushed against his chest. He seemed to have realized what happened because he let his guard down enough to let his feet wander back a few steps. I covered my face with my hands and slid down the wall until I was huddled into a big weeping ball.
Did he almost hit me? Was he thinking about hurting me phyically?

I don't know how long I sat there just crying in a big ball while he stood there a few feet in front of me. I was suddenly scared to move. It was like I was back in Corbin's house after he had hit me. I knew better than to move because I knew it wasn't over. Moving only made it worse, as did crying, but Niall didn't do anything for what felt like forever.
"Alyssa," He finally whispered and I heard his feet come closer to me so I scoot down the wall a little bit. "Alyssa, baby." The name baby gave me chills and made me want him to come sit with me and tell me that he didn't mean anything and that he wasn't quitting, but it also made me want to run- far away. Corbin did this all the time. He'd do something and then teather me back in with sweet talk and pet names- and it usually worked.
I didn't know what to do so I just continued to sob a little harder as I thought about everything. His footsteps stopped right next to me and I heard his body hit the wall until he slid down next to me. He didn't touch me. He just sat there.
We sat there for a while and I just sniffled and wiped away tears the whole time as I kept thinking about everything from Niall and I late last night until now. I thought of my notebook, Niall quitting, Haley's rumor, Tom maybe firing me, and Niall's and my fight just then. It all hurt so much and I couldn't take it. And then on top of it all, I was ready to be done with Niall at the same time I could no longer hide that I was in love with him.
Everything hurt.