IMAGINE WANTING LOVE | kpop multifandom ✓

[breakup series: nct dream] - jeno

[song; half a man —> dean lewis]

[04:11]

he'd never thought he'd make it this far into the relationship.

jeno never thought he'd actually care and love you this much.

too much to bear the weight of his own flaws that he could never rid himself of.

jeno continued to scroll through your conversation, thinking over and over again to himself.

what should he do?

baby ♡
i'm so in love with you, jeno

i was wrong to say i loved her, he thought.

he read his response.

me
i love you a lot

i was wrong to think i'm right, jeno thought once more, his finger never seeming to stop its movement.

he set his phone down and shut his eyes, resting them.

there was a time that jeno remembered where he felt so excluded in her life, his presence merely an extension in her world.

it made him feel insecure more than ever back then.

i've been running from myself, he thought.

• • •

[05:02]

a few weeks ago they fought.

she accused jeno of being a pushover and letting everyone in his life walk all over him.

sure it was all out of worry and love, she only wanted him to realize his own worth.

however, jeno let that care and love slip away and only received backlash from the comment, thus the whole situation evolving into a full-blown fight.

"you said you love me, jeno. if you do feel as you said then please, don't let them ruin your life like this. i'm here for you."

after the yelling she had done, her voice softened and became gentle, soothing his wounds with her heart.

"how am i supposed to love you when i don't love who i am?"

as soon as the sudden words left his lips, her expression changed to a look of pity.

looks of pity were what jeno hated the most, the most absolute.

when she didn't say anything, jeno knew he was getting somewhere in the conversation.

"and how can i give you all of me when i'm only half a man?"

he continued on, footsteps heavy on the carpet as he neared her form.

she was as silent as a mouse, it was as if she held behind a thought she wished to keep hidden.

but it was all too well known to jeno and he simply understood it.

jeno wasn't good enough for her and he'll never be unless he changed himself.

he remembered that fight all too well.

• • •

[06:09]

the reminiscence brought back memories of last night before they set themselves in the position they were in right now.

she had promised that she'll never, ever hurt him.

"no one can ever hurt me like i've hurt myself."

those were the exact words he had told her before she took him into her arms shortly after.

jeno sniffled, the salty water staining his face more as he closed his eyes.

then jeno turned to face her, his love.

she looked so peaceful right here in front of him, unbothered, lucky, and free.

something he'll never have, and jeno could never fully have her if he really wanted to.

don't give your heart to me, he thought.

jeno played with the strands of her hair before caressing it.

the motions caused her to turn around to face the boy, reaching over to clutch onto the boy tight, a hand of hers lowering to hold his hand subconsciously.

jeno swallowed down a gulp of guilt.

i'm a sinking ship that's burning, jeno thought with teary eyes, so let go of my hand.

he slipped his hand out of hers and she let out a whine.

"jeno, you're up early. too early. sleep, baby."

she whispered and snuggled in closer towards him before feeling the wetness of his pillow.

"have you been crying? was it a bad dream?"

jeno shook his head, holding her right against him.

"i didn't go to sleep."

he said but that was all he had to say because she understood exactly what was going on.

she didn't to say anything else, not wanting to disturb the situation that had revealed itself right out there visibly for the couple to see.

then she awaited for the words she thought she'd never had to hear because all along the only thing she had been trying to do was love jeno.

but he said them anyway, ruining the fantasy she'll never have.

"let's break up."