I'm in love with my best friend...
In the chaos of Renmin's crushing marriage their son needs to do everything possible and impossible to never ever let his best friend find out it has been him only - the muse behind every song, the substance of eac...
"I know you hate me ok, hate the fact that Renjun choose me but I can't do anything against... I... why weren't you in the hospital yesterday where you should have been? Why aren't you with Renjun now? You can hate MeiNei or me, but not Renjun. You love Renjun, you have promised him that you'll stay with him till your last day, not this," Xiaojun suddenly took the divorce papers out of his pocket when Jaemin was still watching him as if he had seen him for the very first time.
"Xiaojun... I... I..." Jaemin's chin trembled.
"Renjun needs you, don't you need him? And we... How unfitting we are we're still family. Please go back to Renjun..."
Xiaojun suddenly broke out in tears, has he just said that. Impossible, but there was a pair of arms wrapping him in a hug he has never ever expected.
"I don't hate you I just... never had the courage to approach you," whispered Jaemin.
"What, why?" asked Xiaojun stunned when Jaemin pulled back looking straight at him.
"You think I didn't have the urge to hug my son, to be nice to him, but you have been so distant, so proud, so independent, so clever, always dealing on your own without any help, so I had no courage to approach you. I always believed you would never accept it. Then it became a routine I fell in coldness, my bitterness. I never felt that you see me worthy as your father so I gave all my attention to MeiNei and she suddenly became a young woman and started to hate me. I was so frustrated I let all my frustration out on the only person I was close with. I think our marriage is the problem not you and MeiNei. I'm sorry."
Xiaojun was watching his father unable to grasp as it made no sense. Jaemin this successful, handsome model he always saw as a ideal of a man he will never be even close to was afraid to approach him. Was it the case with others too, Renjun, MeiNei, the people at school? Was this the reason why everyone was avoiding him? Just not aunt and uncle, his grandparents and Yangyang, but Jae and Taeyong had a magical way to make him feel like at home, and uncle and aunt have probably seen a very different side of him than all the others because he had been there with their son, the person he was so vulnerable for, so selfless, out of control, affectionate, so in love. Has this love made him careless, made him forget to build his walls, be fortressless as he had needed no fortresses around Yangyang.
That boy he met on a sunny day, first day of middle school totally lost on the yard in front of the building. That boy who has approached him first asking for help with translation while sending him that smile that made him weak to his knees.
He had no idea what love is back then, nor how it feels like, the only significant change was that that boy form now on was never leaving his mind, never leaving his daydreams, so he was willing to be close. Naive he was, he allowed Yangyang in behind all walls, while they became best friends, when day by day it was becoming more and more clear that he wants something else. Now in a suddenly so twisted world he needed to hate Yangyang, to trust Jaemin.
"Xiaojun can you forgive me my very weak parenting," Asked Jaemin way too honestly.
"Yes," Xiaojun nodded quickly when Jaemin's face became less troubled.
"Let's sit down and order something to eat and something for the kitten," Jaemin pointed at the couch when Xiaojun just nodded.
It felt awkward so both were rather silent when Jaemin's was ordering food form the hotel restaurant.
"What about Renjun?" asked Xiaojun after a moment.
"Where is he now?"
"At Chenle and Daisy."
"I'll drop you off there tomorrow morning. I guess I have to speak to him properly like you did with me today. Thank you," Jaemin looked his way.
"What will you tell him?"
"Please let it be my concern. Now relax, take a rest, eat good dinner, you have been very brave these past few days. Now it's time to not to worry about me and Renjun anymore, we will clear the matter between ourselves. And no matter how this clearing things out will go remember that I'm here for you and I'll take care of you as I had promised while signing the adoption papers, ok?" Jaemin smiled when Xiaojun only nodded.
This was everything but what he has expected to hear, was saying the truth not turning into another tragedy, at lest not right now.
"Thanks Paps, but I guess it's enough for one afternoon," he muttered facing his palms when Jaemin's laugh filled the room.
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Thank you so much for your support. What do you think about Xiaojun finally telling Jaemin what he thinks and Jaemin's reaction? What will happen when Jaemin will go to speak to Renjun?
