Living In My Head (Drarry)

Chapter 37: A Modest Proposal

A.N.

Chapter Song: Black (Acoustic) by Sevendust

P.S. I love the satire my title is named after, read it! lol

Tom moved from his place in the corner, striding towards me and whispering in my ear in a tone that was sickeningly sweet.

After you saw him dry fucking a guy in the hallway? Harry, you should really have more self-respect.

I push Draco off me, my breath starting to go ragged as he watched me with fear in his eyes that were no doubt mirrored in mine. The inability to breathe. I felt my heart race as my eyes widened in shock as tears clouded my eyes. I'm crying? Tom reached his hand out to touch my cheek and I feel no hand there, though I can see it as plain as day.

Harry, he told you to stay away from Blaise because he didn't want you to know you are his side-boy, his second best.

I felt myself shake involuntarily, why am I like this? Nothing even really triggered it. It just came forth all of a sudden. No warning. A wave of fear washed over me and I felt my throat seem to close. Panicking, I lean into myself and sit with my knees under my chin as I cover my mouth with my palm. Draco watches me with hurt in his eyes, no doubt feeling guilty, thinking he triggered it. Tom isn't real, he isn't real.

He did trigger it, he's the one who's sleeping around. He's the one who just wanted a pretty little piece of you until he got bored and he threw you away.

My breath is erratic but strangely silent as I shake violently. Why is this happening? Why now? Why in front of him? God, I feel so weak. I raise my eyes and he looks so scared, so fearful, almost as scared as I am. Tom stands directly beside him, and I'm feeling them to be achingly similar. I'm sorry, Draco, I wish you didn't have to see this. If only I could hold it in. I don't want to be this weak. God, I'm so useless. Why me? I glance back up at Draco and the hysteria intensifies, this was not what I signed up for.

Now, Harry, let's not be dramatic. Just tell him he isn't any dog shit worth stepping in.

I'm going insane here. My heart is pounding and I can't even feel my face anymore. I absently wipe at my face, slick with tears. My expression is twisted, distorted, as I look up at him staring back at me in a mixture of concern and pure fear. This is the worst thing that could've happened to me. He's scared of me. Who will I have now? Reaching out his hand tentatively, he ruffles my hair gently. My thoughts came one at a time, passing quickly through my mind like a dam bursting. His thumb rubbed softly down a portion of hair that covered the scar on my forehead.

"I'll be right back, Harry. Wait here." He doesn't wait for my approval, but I nod anyway as he leaves the room and closes the door behind him. I calm down slowly as Tom's voice drones on and on, I do my best to ignore it while staring straight into his face. I feel my shoulders slump a bit in relief as the nerves die down. Draco and Tom hardly look anything alike, especially now that I've calmed down and gotten a good look. When Draco smiles, his features soften and he always glances down a little, unsure of the expression, while Tom is all too aware of himself, his smile always held together with a sinister twinge.

You aren't listening to me, Harry, you're zoning out again.

Anything to not hear your squawking, Riddle.

Oh, Harry, back to a last-name basis? How tragic. Don't do that, Harry. We're friends.

Friends?! You killed my parents!

The devil's in the details, Harry. The devil's, he paused with a toothy grin, in the details.

With a parting wave, Tom walked past Draco as he walked in, disappearing through the door like a phantom.

Draco sighed, handing me a glass of water, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have swooped in like that, I probably freaked you out."

"I kissed you first," I add quietly.

"You did, and-" Draco smiled nervously, "I really liked it. I was just in shock. I mean, I was pining after you and I thought you had absolutely no interest in me, so I was really surprised and kind of bummed because you stole a bit of my thunder by jumping in first."

"I loved the presents, regardless."

"So what about me?"

I smiled morosely, "I didn't get you a present."

As quickly as I said it, he got a small smile on his face, "Well, I told you what I wanted. How about it, Potter?"

My eyes flick up immediately after he says it and I feel my face heat up, "You mean me?"

"Of course, you. Let's go on a date, a real one, and that'll be my Christmas present, okay?"

I feel my insides twist as I laugh nervously, "I've never been on a date before."

"I have a few times, so no worries. I'll take care of everything." his smile should've consoled me but it reminded me of what he did with Blaise just a few hours before.

Even so, I still felt my eyes tugging to look at his mouth, and his voice interrupted my thoughts. His face, now composed, leaned his head down and sideways so he could look me in the eyes from my spot on the bed. I felt my heartbeat immediately jump into my throat.

"Want to try it again? We can go slower this time. You can take the reigns, just," he exhales, "Just one kiss. Please."

I scoot back a foot or two from the edge of the side of the bed and he crawls up and sits a few inches from me, our knees touching. Leaning his forehead against mine, watching me as he intertwined our fingers, his other hand just curls into holding mine. I feel the seconds pass as he watches me, absolutely content with nothing other than staring into my eyes.

I forget about Blaise, I forget about Tom, I forget about my parents and Severus, I forget about everything and everyone, because I deserve one good thing to happen to me right in this moment. Draco leans in slowly and kisses my cheek, pulling back and I give him a look.

"What, no lip action?"

"You panicked last time..." Draco mutters, considerate but only slightly bitter.

"That won't happen this time... You just," I searched my mind for an excuse, "You went too fast. I'm not good at this whole kissing thing. It's all new to me."

"Fucking liar," he says with a deadpan expression.

I feel nervous, is this all a nightmare? A fantasy I created in my sleep? Did I not even wake up this morning?

"You're a dream," he clarifies, moving the hand loosely holding mine and tilting my chin up, "As for the kissing, you are not half bad. Far from terrible."

"Jesus, say what you mean the first time." I'm half joking, but glad this isn't a dream. I'm starting to get used to Draco being around, I don't know what I'd do with myself if he were to disappear.

"As you wish," he whispers, smiling before leaning in and pressing his lips to mine.

After a few seconds of the kiss, I was breathless and pulled my face from his. It had only been mouth to mouth, but I still felt giddy. I made a lame excuse about needing to get dressed that made Draco chuckle, watching me as I put on a shirt (finally) and changed into my sleeping shorts. I felt his eyes on my back and turned quickly, only to see him striding out of the room, pajamas in hand.

By the time he comes back, I'm already in his bed, curled up under the covers. I feel his body sink the foam mattress before I hear him, he keeps himself as an arm's length but leans into my ear, pressing a small kiss to my neck.

"Merry Christmas, Harry."