Living In My Head (Drarry)

Chapter 50: Something So Small

A.N.

Chapter Song: Hedwig's Theme (Organ Rendition) by Dawid Michałowski

"Yeah," I mutter, scratching the nape of my neck. "I never considered you may be uncomfortable with me-"

"Liking guys? Harry, don't worry about it. I've had a boyfriend or two in the past, never went anywhere, though. Anyhow, I would be the last person to judge you, Harry, know that."

"Thanks, Cedric. I appreciate it."

"Harry, are you sure about Draco?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, his family is not exactly full of saints. The Desitas Law Firm isn't known for a spotless reputation, you know. It's dangerous to get involved with someone from that kind of background. You might as well be dating someone from the mafia."

He has a point. I guess the thought never really occurred to me. There could be danger in getting involved in his family's business. I still have to wonder if being with Draco is worth it, but when I imagine the look of lust on his face the night we made out, I know that even if I didn't love him, I couldn't stay away.

"It's complicated," the only excuse on the tip of my tongue. It's just short of pathetic, but Cedric nods in understanding.

"Come on, just watch this with me. You seem to be done eating anyway." Cedric pulls a quilt from the couch and wraps it around his shoulders. "Come on. I'll keep you close and you won't have to feel alone. I can tell it's not Draco that bothers you, something else. I don't know what, but I'll be right here. Come on, don't worry about it."

He opens his arms, wrapped in the blanket, and I crawl between his legs and lay my back against his chest. He holds me close, arms wrapped tightly around me, but it doesn't feel romantic. I feel too hollow and he feels too shielding for this to be romantic. It's a comfort. A comfort I feel grateful for as I laugh a little less hollowly over the joke Bill Cosby tells about drugs.

-.-.-.-.-

I wake up sometime around midnight, the digital clock blinking red in the darkness. Glancing up with blurred eyes, I notice Mr. Diggory putting a thicker blanket over us and I give him a sleepy smile. He smiles in return, placing a finger against his mouth in a hush. I nod, laying my head back in the crook of Cedric's neck.

I hear him whisper softly, "Sleep well, Mr. Potter," before I drift back asleep, the closeness to Cedric neither strange or unwarranted. The feeling of pure comfort without nervousness. A domestic-like feeling. I remember Narcissa's words about comfort and scrunch my eyes shut.

I have to sleep. Forget all this. Leave it all behind me.

I repeat these words in my mind until I fall back asleep.

-.-.-.-.-

Tuesday- Day 15

I wake up with the sun hitting me square in the face from the swaying slats of light between the blinds. I hiss quietly, curling myself against Cedric and burying my face into his shoulder, his arm supporting my neck. At some point he must have laid us flat on the rug. It wasn't comfortable but I felt worse for Cedric, since he stayed here all night, for me.

I poke his side, exposed where his shirt has shifted in his sleep, and he nods awake.

"Harry," he smiled serenely, "are you feeling any better?"

Even in his sleepy state, he doesn't mention the elephant in the room- our close proximity- nor does he ask the question with expectation for a commital answer. I feel grateful for that.