Living In My Head (Drarry)

Chapter 58: Dynamics in Misunderstanding

A.N.
Chapter song: A Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, offended. I know he's hurting right now but that's really bad timing if this is when he's trying to tell me he knows I'm an orphan.

"I didn't mean anything by it," he mutters, looking ashamed, "I just meant that your anxiety, in a way it's like how I abused drugs. It's a coping mechanism for things."

I was still offended, but he didn't seem to know, or he wasn't going to say it here. For that, I was glad. It would really put the nail in the coffin on the death of the potential for this date. Well, either way it's going to hell in a hand-basket, fast.

"We should row back towards the shore, it's gonna get dark soon." I tell him, and he nods, peeling off of me and going to grab the oars. I shake my head, taking them gently from his hands, "I got it, Drake. Don't worry about it."

He reaches out and puts a hand above my knee, anchoring himself to me as I row slowly towards the shore. I've never rowed a boat before, that much is obvious. He watches me with a tint of humor in his eyes, and I feel like the date wasn't as bad as it could have been.

Draco and I have a strange relationship. The dynamic hinges on misunderstanding and our little spats until we understand again. It's foreign to me, and seems a bit unhealthy too, but it works for us.

Once the dock is less than a foot away, I stand on shaky legs in the boat and jump onto the dock. When I almost fall face-first into the water, Draco tries to hide a (poorly) concealed laugh, but he helps me tie up the boat from his spot inside it. I help him onto the dock and he pretends to swoon, making me smile.

This thing between us works, and it's my main concern that it continues to work.

...

We return to the mansion to find Narcissa drinking a glass of wine in the kitchen, having a quiet and seemingly serious talk with Dobby. Draco is walking ahead, as though the event is normal, but I find myself glued to the sight. Dobby reaches out, caressing the woman's face before kissing the top of her head and leaving the kitchen towards the basement door, seemingly not having saw me.

It's at this point I run quickly on sock-clad feet, catching up to Draco and stepping fast up the stairs. I reach Draco's room without falling once, which I find a personal goal, and flop on the bed closest to me. Draco belly-flops onto the other bed, and I can't hide my curiosity anymore.

"Why was Dobby moving in on your mom? You didn't do anything, so are you okay with her cheating?" I ask, brashly, but I figured I could've said it worse.

"Dobby?" he laughed, "God, no. He wasn't-" he stops to laugh more. "He's not interested."

"He's gay?" I ask, and he shakes his head in response.

"Nope. He isn't really interested. I don't really know how to describe it, but he's told me before. Let me think," after a minute or two of silence, he seems to remember. "Oh! Well, this isn't entirely verbatim but he said something to the effect of 'I don't find interest in anyone, really, I just try to be friendly'."

"So, like, he's never-?" I make a crude gesture with my fingers, too embarrassed at my ignorance to say the word 'sex'.

Draco shakes his head, "No, he has. He apparently tried experimenting with different genders while he was out traveling with my grandfather when he was in his teens, my grandfather insisted he at least try, but no, he said they did nothing for him."

I'm shocked, "Hasn't he at least dated someone?"

Draco shrugs, "No one worth mentioning, apparently. He said he never really cared for dating, he preferred having friends."

I remember the day I saw him praying and the image of him basked in light made me look towards the window, towards the setting sun. Reminded me of depictions of pure figures in renaissance art. Draco looked too, he may be seeing the same thing in his mind. Getting up, I laid beside him and curled next to his side.

"Dobby seems like he's got it all figured out." I admit, and Draco nods.

"He was like that even when I was a kid. I remember him always smiling differently at me than others. He always made every word, every glance, every touch with every person he's ever met mean something and I want to be able to say I can do that, one day." Draco confessed, turning his head back to face me.

"You will." I tell him, kissing him quickly on the lips.

"One more?" Draco asked.

I lean in for another kiss and he grabs me, pulling me closer to shower my face and neck with kisses. I giggle, pretending to struggle against it.

"I thought you said one!" I say between laughs.

"One thousand, then." he grins, pausing a minute to kiss my nose.

"You're so romantic," I joke sarcastically.

"Love it or hate it." he shrugs, going back to kissing me.

I laugh, rolling so I'm laying on his chest, him on his back. "Love it."

His expression becomes thoughtful, serious, as he swipes his fingertips across my forehead, moving the bangs out of the way so he can see my scar. He plants a kiss there and something in my heart stings.

"Do you love me, Harry?"

There's no hesitation in his voice. His eyes look clear of muddling thoughts. I don't think I've ever truly seen him this open, this transparent.

I nod, "Yeah, I do."

He nods in return, kissing my scar again, "Good, 'cos I love you too."

I run my fingers through his hair and tug on the roots lightly, Draco makes a noise under his breath that catches on my ears. My nails skid lightly across his scalp and I scoot back to rest my pelvis against his, pulling his head in for a kiss.

----

A.N.

Woo! Asexual representation amiright? 

SO, yes, Dobby (in my fic) is aromantic asexual. 

I'm glad to finally have an openly ace character in a fic, jeez it feels awesome. 

(Even though it's in a gay fanfic lol)

Anyhow, hope you enjoyed this update.

With love,

~deathbyinsomnia