Living In My Head (Drarry)

Chapter 36: For My Own

A.N.

Chapter Song: All I Want for Christmas Is You by Michael Bublé

"For me?" I asked, watching as he fidgeted where he sat. I pulled a pair of shorts and one of my large tees from the drawer, my eyes watching as he came around behind me and stood at my side.

"Of course, I did say it was for you, after all." He watches me nervously, popping his fingers with his thumb in an awkward tick.

"Well, what is it?" I ask, it coming off more condescending than curious. I take off my suit jacket and lay it across the top of the dresser, unbuttoning my dress shirt and taking it off before realizing he's staring way too intently at his feet to be normal. "What cat's got your tongue?"

"It's just, I'm kind of wondering if you'll even like the present since I didn't even consult you before getting it."

My tee shirt held in my hands, I bump my elbow into his arm, causing his head to shoot up as he looked at me. "I'm sure I'd like it more if you didn't hold me in suspense."

He smiles again, flushing, as he runs off to his closet and fishes a box from the bottom of his closet. "I saw you looking at it and I guessed you may be going back later to get it but I didn't know for sure. I knew it would look great on you so," his face steadily got more red as he swept his hair from his eyes and opened the box, holding up the suit I saw when I was shopping with Hermione. "I took the liberty of getting it for you. I hope you aren't upset with me."

My eyes settle on it and I almost feel like crying tears of joy. I pull on the shirt in my hands and stride over to him, running my thumb over the material thoughtfully. As though I was hit in the gut, tears prick the corners of my eyes and I find myself crying between trying to smile. Draco looks at me sadly, putting the suit back in the box.

"I'm sorry, I probably seem like a creep. Tracking down the suit and all. I just, I really wanted this Christmas to be special for you, Harry."

I choked a bit, before wiping at my face with my arm. "You don't know how happy I am right now." He looks at me with confusion before I dab at my eyes with the heel of my hand. "This is my first real Christmas, my first real birthday present," I almost said 'with the person I love' but the words caught in my throat upon realization of almost saying it out loud. "with one of my first real friends. I can never thank you enough."

"That's actually not all of the present..." Draco dwindled off, his eyes dimming for a moment before he went back to the closet and pulled out an acoustic guitar. "I promised I'd play for you." He took the guitar from its case and slung the band around him and moved the guitar to swing down on his back as he gripped my shoulders and pushed me onto the bed. "Sorry, it's just, I've never played for anyone before."

I wiped the last of my tears and smiled at him, my voice a little wavering, "I'm positive it'll be amazing."

He smiles, really smiles, and nods. "I actually just recently learned this song so I could play it for you, it's a bit last minute and I had little to no time to practice, and I only know part of it-"

"Draco!" I chide with a laugh, "Spit it out!"

"Right." he said, smiling as he took a shaky breath. When he started playing, my heart felt light as his fingers glided up and down the neck of the guitar. "I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need." He sang slow, letting the words drag out as his voice shook slightly, strumming the guitar confidently, in spite of his voice. "I don't care about the presents, underneath the Christmas tree."

He kept glancing up at me, looking for a sign of approval, but the second he'd look up, he'd glance right back down to his fingers strumming the guitar. "I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know." He looks at me with finality, his face beet red as he sings to me, his playing stopping as he pulled the guitar from his shoulders, setting it shakily against the wall. He smiles, as though his heart is on his sleeve and sings the final lines.

"Make my wish come true," Draco grabbed my hands, holding them as I could feel his hands shaking as a replacement for the unsure confidence he now held in his voice. "All I want for Christmas is you." The final, passionate words left his lips and I was frozen in place. He learned this song for me? This song in particular? Is it too hopeful to think this means... what I hope it means?

"Draco?"

"Yeah, Harry?" he looked at me with affection, a look I felt stupid for never realizing before.

"Since when?"

"How long have I liked you?" he asked with a laugh, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles in what seemed to be a nervous tick. "Love at first sight?" he tried, smiling. I looked at him skeptically, and he entwined his fingers in mine, "Ok, the truth: I felt attracted to you since the first time I met you but I realized I liked you more than just an attraction was the night I bumped into you in the hall. I couldn't sleep, I was just so worried about you and it kinda hit me. I went to go check on you while you were asleep, so you wouldn't know I was worried but-" he snorts, "I'll be damned if I didn't bump into you. I don't love you Harry, not yet, but I know I can if you let me. Please, let me."

It sounds as if it was taken from a terribly written fan fiction but it still left me weak in the knees. I see him move slowly towards me, leaning in to kiss me and I know I shouldn't, but I close my eyes and let him. He takes his free hand and touched my neck, rubbing his thumb against the line of my jaw as he deepened the kiss and I felt myself begin to panic as I heard Tom scoff, my eyes shooting open as I see him standing behind Draco with a look of pure hatred on his face.

Please, no.