Living In My Head (Drarry)

Chapter 24: The Falling Snow

A.N.

Chapter Song: Ghost of Days Gone By by Alter Bridge

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His hair was wet, his hand clenching a towel he'd obviously been using to dry it. He steps aside and I walk in, taking a look around his room; it's especially neat. I sit on the corner of his bed as he opens a dresser and pulls on a band tee over his pajama pants.

"What's up?" he asked curiously, "Something wrong, Harry?"

"No, I got permission, I can go."

"You contacted them already?"

"Yeah," I brushed it off, trying to change the subject. "So what's with Blaise, exactly? You thought I was him at your-"

"It's a long story." he promptly changed the subject, something we both seemed to be good at. "You need to pack about a month's worth of clothes. We might get a lot of snow this year, and if we do, they may hold off a few more days until we return to Hogwarts."

I nodded, not having the heart to tell him I didn't even really own a month's worth of clothes. A week, maybe, if I washed clothes a lot. I guess he caught me frowning or something because all of a sudden he walked closer to me and held a hand to my head.

"What?"

"Seeing if you have a fever."

"Why?"

"You looked a little flushed, plus we did sleep out in the open, on a beach, in the winter."

"So how long do I have, doc?"

"Funny." he laughed sarcastically, "You don't a fever, I don't think you do, anyway."

"Good news."

"I'm excited for the break." he grinned, heading over to his closet and pulling out a small, cream colored animal. He held it in both hands, though it was only a little bigger than his palms, "This is Zorro." The ears were triangular, and they were slunk back in caution as he brought him closer to me, his little brown eyes watching me closely. "I need to see if you two can get along, since I'm bringing him home with us."

I reached out my hand and Zorro sniffed it, gave it a small lick and curled back into Draco's arms approvingly, "I have a ferret, Castiel, would you mind if I brought him along?" I asked, still in awe.

"Not at all. So you have a ferret? What's he like?"

"You'll see when we leave this week. What is Zorro, anyway?"

"He's a fennec fox. Oh. Just so you know, my father will be the one picking us up, so be on your best behavior."

"Aren't I always?" I joke and he rolls his eyes, putting Zorro in the crook of an arm as he uses the other to toss his towel into a clothes hamper.

"I'll come by the day before we leave, tomorrow, and I'll make sure we're packed and ready to go."

I turn my eyes to the door, "Is this okay? I mean, to be hanging around like this?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know," I rack my brain for the right words, "Like we're some big secret."

"I don't act like we are."

Then I guess it's just me, I think to myself. Looking up, I notice the sun sinking in the sky, "I need to go, I'll see you later."

"Until then, Harry."

The words seems awkward, foreign, coming from him. It seemed, I don't know, off. I pet Zorro once more before leaving, Blaise already long gone by the looks of it. I round a corner, after leaving the Slytherin wing- Gryffindorbound- and bump straight into Hermione.

"Oh, Harry, I was just looking for you. I wanted to know if you wouldn't mind going with me to town tomorrow."

"Sure, 'Mione. Anything for you. Why are we going?"

"You'll see when we get there." she grinned impishly, kissing my cheek before rushing off, waving at me.

Pretty girl. Too bad you don't feel that way about her.

She doesn't feel that way about me.

How do you know?

I know because if she felt that way, I'd automatically have a panic attack the second she'd touch me.

And why's that?

The fear of hurting someone else.

Who did you hurt before? Don't even try to blame yourself for your parents' deaths.

I actually blame myself for Neville, but thanks for that load too.

I'll leave you to your childish pity party, buzz me when you grow a pair.

...

Staring at the ceiling, I opened Castiel's cage and pulled him into my arms. He whined happily, curling up against me. I'd neglected him but I knew he understood to some degree. Once I'd gotten back to my room, everyone was at dinner, and I starting panicking for no reason- but there was a reason. I kept seeing my parents die. Bits and pieces of all the repressed memories were resurfacing and I started sobbing hysterically. I punched my fists hard into the mattress of my bed and Neville walked in to get me to come to dinner. I didn't hear him come in.

He sat me down, hugging me close until I'd calmed down. I sobbed into his sweater, my mouth open and croaking out sobs. A few times, my crying would make my voice choke out when I tried to regulate my breathing, at which time he would hold me tighter. He rocked me back and forth until it passed and I felt so vulnerable in front of him. He didn't ask questions. He left, assuring me he would return with food. He did.

"Harry?"

The voice had startled me, "Yeah, Nev?"

"You okay over there?"

"Never better."

"Harry." he chided.

"Really, I'm okay. Just go back to sleep."

"I can't, I worry."

"Promise you'll have a fun time with your grandma this holiday."

"She's kind of mean."

"Then go home with Luna, I doubt she'd mind. I mean, she is your girlfriend."

"Is not."

"Then make it official."

"I'll ask."

"Her to be your girlfriend?"

"No, going to her house for the holidays."

"Try the other one too."

He laughed, humoring me, "Okay, Harry." He muttered, turning his back to me and I watched out the window to my left as snow began to fall.

"It's snowing." I muttered to no one in particular, my roommates breaths all signalling sleep.

I could hear Neville's deep, steady breaths and my mouth drew into a thin line. I hoped he didn't remember as much as I did about his parents that I remembered of my own. I wondered how he dealt with it, and how I was so weak compared to him but he always looked at me in a way that made me feel strong. Maybe he thinks I am strong. He'd never truly understand how much Tom Riddle's voice burned the insides of my ears. How much it terrified me to hear him. It terrified me even more to know that he was created entirely of my own imagination from pieces of memory.

Castiel curled up closer against my neck, and I eventually drifted off to sleep. Maybe I could really get in the Tri-Way if I practiced hard enough. Maybe, just maybe, Draco and I can find some common ground.