Living In My Head (Drarry)

Chapter 61: Illusion of Perfection

A.N.

Chapter song: Alter Ego by Tame Impala

Former song was Camino by Led Coyote but it has disappeared off of the face of the earth? I mean the band's bandcamp is even gone now... so I changed it...
---

The subject drops, and Dobby enters the room with a smile. He either doesn't sense the tense feeling surrounding us or simply ignores it, humming along to a song I recognized vaguely as a song from the 50s (A.N. Rockin' Robin), spraying the windows and cleaning them off. I finish my omelette, very cold and no longer appetizing, one of my hands still limp in Draco's.

Finally, I found the voice lodged in my throat and asked Narcissa why she was still home.

"I don't have work today, I have the day off." she smiled, pulling her long hair back into a loose ponytail. "Didn't you notice my pajamas?"

I glance at her nightshirt, it's a silk button-up and seeing as I never saw the pants, it was a simple mistake. "Looks like a work blouse to me." I say candidly and she laughs.

"Well, I do have work today, but none of the official kind. I am going to help Dobby prepare for the New Year's Party, it's a lot of work for just one person."

I glance at Draco and he readily nods, interjecting, "We'll help too."

She smiles, not bothering to play coy and refuse, "Thanks, the help is much appreciated, boys."

...

Draco and I find ourselves still in our pajamas at noon, still helping Narcy and Dobby put up decorations to the point of overkill. I mean, seriously, do you really need baubles for every holiday? I mutter that with a groan to Draco, he laughs but his mom takes on a mockingly serious air.

"Why, of course we do! What else should we spend money on, a yacht?"

I shrug, smiling, as if the option wasn't actually that bad of an idea. She got a kick out of that.

...

At roughly noon-thirty, Lucius walks in with a duffle in one hand and a laptop backpack on his back. I was braiding Narcy's hair while Draco was talking to Dobby about a classic book I'd heard of but never read (I believe he said it was called Wuthering Heights). Their debate was heated, and Narcissa and I watched in amusement. The chatter all stopped when the door shut. Lucius's heated gaze shot straight to me.

"What are you doing?"

"Is that a trick question, sir?" I ask with a laugh, the brain that sometimes lies within my skull screams that it is a bad idea to be snarky to him. However, the part of me that actually grew a pair is rearing to start a fight with the guy.

"Well, I see my wife, my son, and the house-guest dressed in pajamas when it is already the afternoon! How lazy."

I groan, my fingers knotting the band to tie off the end. "Lazy? We did all of the decorations, got everything ready, food already prepared and ready to start in twenty minutes in time for us to set the table, no thanks to you. So, please, explain to me how and in what way is that lazy, Lucius." I felt disgust lace my tone and judging by the look on his face, he was beyond pissed, but there was something else hidden in the corners of his expression I couldn't fathom. Pride.

He remained silent, walking upstairs wordlessly to his room and shutting the door. Narcissa stared at the entrance to the stairs in shock before standing to follow him up. Draco's expression was blank, but clearly he had something to say. Dobby took his leave, making his way towards his basement room.

"What the hell were you thinking? No, you couldn't have been thinking because that was just plain fuckin' stupid!" His voice took on a strange lilt I'd never heard from him before, but he breathed before speaking again, the lilt gone. "Seriously, he already doesn't like you, why fuel the fire?"

"I couldn't resist," I told him honestly, "Something told me I had to, for what he did to you."

"Stop trying to be a hero, Harry, you suck at it."

I wanted to tell him he was wrong, but he wasn't. I wish we could both stop playing the unconquerable hero, but the act is so enticing. I think we both realize that.

"I will when you do."

The conversation ended there, we just sat with our thighs touching until Narcissa came back downstairs. Her expression was enigmatic and it worried me fiercely, but all I had to show for it was my tapping and impatient fingers. A shiver came over me and I couldn't stop shaking, I was shaking so hard that my breath naturally shook and it alarmed Draco enough that he caressed my face with his hand.

Narcissa watched with a blank expression, eventually finding the moment to speak up, "He'll be downstairs soon, let's start cooking."

Feeling the touch of his hand grounded me, so I managed a nod and we met Dobby in the kitchen to start cooking.

Dobby moved beside Draco and I as we cut vegetables, out of earshot of Narcissa as she was tenderizing steaks on another counter. He just watched for a little while, until I acknowledged him from the corner of my eye. Draco kept his head down, pointedly ignoring me.

"Harry, how does one say 'Why did you speak to him that way' without sounding antagonizing?"

I could tell he was trying to make a joke so I smiled a little, "That was just fine, if you ask me."

"So?" he offered, leaning back against the island until I made conversation.

"So... I did it because I didn't like the way he was acting."

"It's not your place."

"I don't care if it's my place, he was being a dick."

"I hate to say it Harry, but it is his home, and you disrespected him in it."

"I know that," I said defensively, then repeated in a more sad tone. "I just... I don't know. Something about him is a personal challenge to me."

Dobby stifled a laugh, "Breathing his air offends you?"

"Not exactly," I smile, it does sound funny when he says it that way. "Something about the way he carries himself, the sneering, it just reminds me of-" I stop. The cocky attitude, the disgust in the way he curves his mouth, the holier-than-thou air about him... it reminded me of Tom. That's why I can't stand him so much. He is the spitting image of Tom in manner. "It reminds me of someone... unpleasant."

Draco finally looks up and gives me a questioning look and I give him a weak smile. He frowns, nodding and bowing his head to focus again. I wonder who Draco thinks his father reminds me of, and I hope I didn't offend him. Even if you don't like your family, doesn't mean you would like to hear them being talked down about right beside you. Once Dobby looks between us, he returns to help Narcissa and I give Draco a small peck on the cheek.

He recoils like he was touched with hot iron, then he smiles shamefully, whispering 'sorry', and giving me a brief peck on the mouth. "In this house, let's try to keep us behind closed doors okay?"

I nod, my heart heavy. Draco scoots closer so our arms brush each others and I feel a little better, but the illusion of this perfect relationship is starting to crumble, I can feel it.