Junior Year ✔️

Part 28

You know when you have that feeling like things just can't get any better? But then someone brings you down from that high? Well, I know what that's like all too much. My whole life, I've been afraid to be happy for more than a day. I know it can't last long. And I was always right. Let me explain this better. We won our homecoming game, which was amazing. The team went to eat to celebrate and we were all having a great time. That was before Nikki and her click came.

Nikki and I have not gotten along since the sixth grade. She's a pure bitch. There's also one major thing, she's in love with Shawn. While we were out eating of course her ass showed up and came over like nothing was wrong between us two. She sat right next to Shawn and tried to make small talk with him all night. He didn't know that we didn't get along and never will. So of course he answered her questions and just talked to her like any regular girl. Me on the other hand, oh boy. I swear I almost jumped at her ass like fifty times. I wanted to kill her ass. Maybe even just pull that bad ass weave out her head. After a good hour of taking her shit I got up and left. Shawn tried to stop me but I lied and said I didn't feel good.

I made it home in record time and went straight to bed to think about all this. Since I became involved with Shawn it's been drama. Non stop drama. I don't think all this stress is even worth it. Now I got this house all to myself for a whole night. Kelly and Michelle are coming over tomorrow after school and staying all week. For now though, I'm all alone. I prefer this anyways. Relaxing. I never get a chance to think this much. And from the sounds of it, I won't be getting that chance again anytime soon. I got up from my bed and walked downstairs while taking my sweet ass time. I walked to the door and opened it.

"What's up?" Here we go. I leaned against the door and waited for him to speak.

"You feeling better?" I was until you came over here! Stupid!

"Umm yeah I'm fine now so you can just go home." In other words, GO NOW! Don't get me wrong, I love him, but not at all now. He just sucks. I just wanted him to leave my house and leave me alone forever. This is all his fault anyways.

"Can we talk inside?" I opened the door fully and let him bring his ass inside.

"I'll be in the living room." I walked away while he was taking off his shoes. Slowly might I add.
He's gotta be crazy if he thinks I'm gonna wait for him to do that shit. When I sat down and got comfortable he finally came.

"Okay so what's really wrong?" He sat down next to me and I tried to ignore him.

"Nothing. Just not feeling good." So go and leave me alone now!

"Beyonce I wasn't born yesterday. Just tell me what's wrong." Well, someone is hard headed.

"Fine. Don't get mad though." I got up and went to sit on the other couch. When I sat down I finally let everything out.

"I don't think we should see each other anymore Shawn. Sorry." He looked at me and then laughed.

"Not this again. What happened now?" I guess he didn't understand. But I wasn't expecting him to. How would he know if I'm serious or not? He never asks me how I'm feeling on a daily basis.
He only asks when I'm crying or when I'm mad at him. He needs a reason. He can't just check up on me like good boyfriends do.

"I'm serious Shawn. I can't deal with all this stress and shit. I'm too young!" I got up from the couch and walked away into the living room. I felt tears just ready to come out.

"Can I know when you decided this?" He came after me looking mad as hell.

"It just hit me today after the game when I saw Nikki all up on you. I don't need bullshit like that in my life." He looked shocked.

"Nikki? The girl who sat next to me? She said yall were friends and went way back! I ain't know!" See, I knew he would think it's all about her. Like he couldn't do no wrong. It had to be about her kuz there's no way Shawn could ever make me mad, right? WRONG!

"It's not about that. It's just everything." I sat down on a bar stool and let the tears pour out. No use in hiding them, especially from him.

"So you really think us being friends will help you out?" Uh duh Sherlock!

"Yeah, I just think I'm better off single until I get my own life back in order. I'm not emotionally strong enough for myself yet. Get it?" He nodded his head and smiled at me.

"Whenever you need someone, you know I'm still here." I wiped my tears of slowly and smiled at him too.

"Like old times?" He shook his head and hugged me.

"Better than old times. I promise baby, my bad, I promise Beyonce." I guess I should be happy. He didn't flip out, I didn't scream at him, and we ended up still being friends.

That night was okay. Well not for my love life, but hey, I can always get that back right? I just gotta make sure to keep away the rest of the hoe's while I'm getting myself together.

"I still love you Shawn." What the hell? I don't even know why I said that or where it came from.

"And I still love you and always will." He leaned down and gave me a "closure" kiss.

"Thanks buddy." He shook his head and laughed.

"To go from baby to buddy, it's a big step back." I knew he was hurt but he didn't let it be shown.